Friday, December 23, 2005

Distant Tomtoms & Perching Crows


Googling 'Konfused Kid', i eyeballed when i saw the NY Times piece, nobody told me about it, so i had an extra kick out of finding out myself, people started congratulating me, i read it and i bascially had my rocks off...then i read the other people's turf.
can't tell u i didn't feel a little out of place, what i wrote was basically a spontaneous piece in which i left out any political thoughts and conceptions aside -i especially liked NAJMA's piece - which juxtaposes natrual phenomena, people's tendency to intertwine that with political crap inside an emotional elections frame.
RIVERBEND did her usual. To me, RIVERBEND always represented a serious, respectable news channel (MBC, opposed to say, myself's CBM ; technically, these people beat me hands down, but come again - my viewpoint represented the non-political citizen catching up the proverbial late bus, i better leave the more politically-inclined stuff to the guys in the know. My whole point was to present the world with a no-holds-barred look upon youths in Iraq.

So it has been out in the open, can't be anything other than Official Ruin for this country, as the elections failed --- suppose it gets redone, Shia would get pissed off and here we are headed locked-on the pits of failure ; the abyss of denial ; the catacombs of civil war awaits and the Goru downstairs is the inexplicable Sectavarium. What better way to meet all that than wtih a non-bullshitting yellow smile that half-says 'i knew it all along'
As i inserted my finger into Barney's purple asshole, i recall precisely that - a Barneylike sense of undeniable shitstained joy.
As i am writing this, the purple ink has not yet dried, and as i look down upon it all i can look back is : 'Ignorance is a bliss'
Life was much more easier when i didn't give a feces who ruled the country, but our own government of Ira(n/q - pick one) started a series of practical jokes that crossed over the boundary to the point that it couldn't be anymore ignored, so i had to vote in the hope that something's gotta give.

Today the MURAAM people (the organizaiton consisting of 30-something coalitions that boycotted the elections results, practically everyone but the kurds and the winning triple-5) went out in the streets in demonstrations, i preferred to stay in a much more blissful dreamscape and woke up at 3 PM, i even missed Friday's Prayer (with sadness, i must say) and headed straight towards my ignorant acoustic, earning 'Fade To Black' gives me a splinter of blackened comfort in these Hakim-blessed days.
I miss Totalitarian TV-days a lot, in these days, the people stopped trying to do anything about their fate and kept laughing at themselves, Saddam was a demi-god and the simple rules that u had to follow in order to live in his divinity's holy kingdom was as clear as a pimple in fat lady's derriere. Shout in demonstrations, Deny and curse US in TV investigations, Na3am Na3am Na3am, Lil Qa'id Saddam Hussein. Sometimes when Iraqi TV showed us 3-hour meetings of God Saddam meeting the army officers and have us listen to each and every one give out the undying loyalty scripture sealed and signed, it was one big joke - sometimes it was unbearably funny seeing how such a large mass of people who took themselves so seriously can be reduced to smithering asskissers, i mean, the 'Afya' videoclip, when i first heard this (first day of war - i think) i burst out laughing! HOW COULD THE SINGER GET AWAY WITH THATTT?
You see, 'Afya' is a somewhat slang word that Saddam used in these 3-hour meetings, by default, 'Afya' is usually said by a compassionate elder to a promising child who's helped the old lady cross the street, when each of these hypocritical hypermoustached dudes would finish his worship, the God would interrupt whatever he was doing, usually smoking a big Castro cigar and murmur a cold 'Afya' to him, (legend has it that one Afya meant a million, two meant 2 millions and so forth...i wonder what good old Abu El Laithan would say wanted to give out a 1/2 mil) 'Afya but return 500' or probably a fart-like 'Af'
so anyway one day the radio comes alive with a tribal song named 'Afya' that as was as much sad as it was funny.

AHhhhh, sweet Black Humor, the last defense of the lazyboy who wouldn't give a shit.
Every cynic is actually a sensitive motherfucker who is afraid of his sentimentality and can't really bare to show it.

it seems everybody's who's running for elections these days is a secret heavy metal devotee, aside from the infamous Hakim headbanging incident widely circulated in mobile phones, there's 618's own crazydude :

Q/ Why does the cameraman keep shaking the camera violently in Adnan Dulaymi's speeches?
A/ To keep the picture in sync with Adnan's headbanging.

how about some more of these election jokes ?

A deaf & dumb was asked to whom he would vote for in the coming elections, he bent over three times.
(it is quite helpful to know that in Iraqi, a 5 is an asshole)

Yeah Whatever.....

On a more cheery note, I failed 1 lesson. We celebrated that by going to a kubbah restaurant and having our bellies full of one gaint kubba that could've been one of the Winged Bull's Balls.
My giving up faith in this country is re-vised these days, at least now i can say I TRIED.

i REALLY broke up with my ex-girl and have finally ended 18 months of torture, pain and invisbile love and affection.
Free again.
Now i can honestly feel what these men do when they kill ther wives. She was a pain in the ass, if i stopped worshipping her for a single second she's flip out her Bazooka mouth and shoves all sorts of I Hate You-s down my throat.
we broke up repetitiously, it reached a point that in the last week we broke up twice one day.
i don't know why i kept returning to her, she was my safety net in a manner of speaking but now i made a vow never ever.

but now i am free again - bring out the honies!



attawie said...

You may write somthing silly for you but you are showing everybody how a simlpe guy live in Iraq.. so don't ever be "kunfused" to hear others talking how they admire you.

I enjoy reading your blog thogh it takes time but I never miss a post.

By the way..I'm sure you will find a nice girlfriend with the personality you have :)


Morbid Smile said...

That's a very nice post. Affiya! ;)

A girl with those charecteristics?Don't worry, you'll find many ones! Hey, where is the Chatting Box you said you would put in your blog??!

Keep up the good work, and Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

You said "i even missed Friday's Prayer (with sadness, i must say)"

Do you consider yourself religious? What is the position of Islam regarding cursing or profanity? While I am not religious I am always amazed at religious christian radicals who have babies outside of marriage, curse, and drink, then profess to be such christians.

Does Islam have similar characteristics whereby some people profess to be good Muslims, but engage in non-Muslim like behavior regularly?

Anonymous said...

You said "i even missed Friday's Prayer (with sadness, i must say)"

Do you consider yourself religious? What is the position of Islam regarding cursing, profanity, or using nasty slang in writing? I am not religious yet I am always amazed at religious christian radicals who have babies outside of marriage, curse, and drink, then profess to be such christians.

Does Islam have similar characteristics whereby some people profess to be good Muslims, but engage in non-Muslim like behavior regularly?

I suppose Muslim society is just like Christian society in that some are non-believers, some are rabid believers, some are lackadaisical believers, and some believe something else entirely.

How would you view yourself?

Konfused Kid said...

Wow, easy there Pope! You clearly are under the impression that everyone called 'Muslim' should be obeying a strict moral code, it's not like that in real life at all - tons of people do all these sorts of stuff and call themselves so. i am not really a hardcore religious muslim, . but i try to maintain a constant relationship with God, in every human being, there is the charactersitic of worship - it is perhaps a craving much like any other.

i am not an angel, but i am also not a devil. i'm just a konfused collegeboy.

Melantrys said...

Happy New Year, Mr Konfused!!!

Caesar of Pentra said...

Well, Mr(Tomtom)!
Happy new Year

aNarki-13 said...


Most of us (here) are born to muslim parents, and henceforth, inherit the religion automatically.. some are connected to islam only by the ink on their id's..
some are hardcore Kill-'Em-All's..(misguided fools, this is NOT islam)
There are the strict, yet non-violent muslims, who are firm in their beliefs, but will not resort to violence unless in defence..

and there are the guys in-between..

Yes, we have similar characteristics, as does every religion and creed!

like i always say, its not the fault of the religion itself, but rather, the people..

example: in All religions, Adultery is forbidden.. but, pre-marital sex is the norm in most countries now, and abstinance is considered a strange secluded practice!

so, yes, we ALL have some rotten apples!

as for the profanity, it is not good, but, it's the 'Kid's choice to use it!

Cheers friend! nice question there!

Daniel said...

What do you mean, the Kid's profanity is not good. I like it very much, very much indeed.

Scott Banks said...

Read your piece in the New York Times. (I'm from Los Angeles, California). Feels wierd to get published that widely, doesn't it? They chose you for a reason. You have a very distinctive voice or style. You sound a bit like Holden Caulfield from A Catcher in the Rye, but less depressed. If you haven't read the book you'd probably like it. It was a favorite of mine growing up, and I also like Philip K. Dick. Is it hard to get books, esp. offbeat choices like Dick?

olivebranch said...

hehehe if attawie & haneen are saying you will have no problem with girls- then your in luck *wink* :D

Anyway, nice post- I think I say it in every comment on your blog, but I like the way you think.

Honest, out right and down to the point- if not a litlle beyond it. :)

keep it up and you will never have to be alone again :)

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