Friday, February 29, 2008

Respect Knowingly ٌ

Yesterday was the anniversary of Shia Arba'een. I suppose it's a good time to speak about mutual respect of the religion of others as an essential attempt towards co-existence in Iraq.

I have argued before that Sunnis and Shiites are irreparably hostile on religious terms, I still believe so, but I do believe that a good number of Iraqis from both sects would like nothing more than a peaceful co-existence. A key component towards achieving that goal is a meaningful respect of the opposite sect's religious values, which I believe is only possible under a secular rule that will dimnish the impact of religion on everyday life but also respect the religious rights while working neutrally towards skirting the hostile foundations of the two sects are built upon into a distinct Iraqi idetity, an impossible task of course because most Iraqis want a theocratic government, hence the dilemma, nevertheless I'll just babble on for the benefit of future "Iraqi" generations who might learn from the mistakes of their forefathers, how's that for being self-important.

Many of you might be surprised that I am a fan of Mulla Bassim al-Kahraba'ie, as a matter of fact, Mulla Bassim single-handedly played a huge role in my conversion from Western music into an appreciation of Middle Eastern modes of music. That respect grew out from a curiosity incurred by the ubiquitous presence of the Shia flagellation mega-hit "Ya Yom Ashoof Ei'tabak" everywhere in Iraq, which was endlessly satirized such as [here], and then it developed into an interest in the supernatural, enterainingly apocalyptic vision of Shiism ; you see, the problem with Sunni Islam is that it's stories are rather boring from the perspective of a story-teller, sure it does confirm Judeo-Christian stories of a prophet who talks to animals and the snakes of Moses but those are minor stories, as the principle concept largely center upon a worship of a single God and that's about it. On the other hand, Shiism is centered upon a very passionate
dramatic piece with lots of dark fantastical themes: there's a fascinating battle between Good
and Evil where Evil always wins, there's a centuries-asleep Hidden Wrath-Of-God Imam who will come back, resurrect all the bad guys and kill them, those apocalyptic visions easily stirred the Heavy Metal-, fantasy-, Gilgamish and Enkido-loving spirit within me, there's something ethereal when you listen to a story told in a larger-than-life mesmerizing melody about the righteous holy blood dripping from the cuffs of Musa al-Kazim by Haroon, in the process uplifting those holy men and their antagonists from normal eat-shit-sleep human beings into the mystery-shrouded Demigods in an Iron Maiden song.

Okay, okay, so Shias might be a little annoyed at my comparison to their beliefs with mythologies here, but my point is that I have grown a sense of appreciation for their rich
culture, in fact one of my things I want to do someday is visit Karbala or Najaf like Salam Pax did here (why is the blog's colors like this now?) just for the grandiose curiosity of it. In fact, Sunnis ave somehow recognized the huge impact of those Shia religious hymns in rallying solidarity and they have attempted to replicate it, they are stealing Shia eulgoies and are applying it to Saddam Hussein for example, and also they have a 'Mawlid' celebration (think Nusrat Ali Khan-like), but that is nowhere near as powerful as the Shiite ceremonies, and that is because their version of religion is still a pure simplistic veneration that refuses innovation "bidda3" and isn't as imaginative, it discourages iconization and frown upon any other form of worship than Qur'an recitals, in fact even the pillars of Sunni Islamic music comes from external sources, the most famous Muslim singer, dubbed "Muslim Bono", Sami Yusuf, is a British of Azeri (mostly Shia) origin who was born in Iran, but is for some reason Sunni (even that is in doubt). Another very famous song, Ya Tayba, hails from Indonesia and has Sufi roots (they even say Ya Ali in it), Sufism is a blurry form of Islam which stress Music and dancing as a form of being closer to God. it has many Shia influences but nothing of the complex traditions and stories which makes it offensive to the orthodoxy Sunnism.

Let's revisit Mulla Bassim again, in 2003, Bassim was singing in his "Symphony of Graves" about Saddam Hussein:

Kurd and Arab a victim,
Sunni and Shia altogether.

in 2006, after the Askariya Shrines were demolished, the Mulla sang this hateful masterpiece (edited here, but Nawasib line can still be seen in the end):

O Mahdi, You have four vengeances,
Taim, Adi, Harb and Sakhar
The first took away Fadak from you
The second broke the rib of your mother
The third split open Ali's head
The fourth slaughtered the blood of Hussein
Should Hasan live with us
He would've been poisoned again
and Should Hussein be resurrected
They would have cut his neck again
Lo, Alas your grandfather is buried among the Nawasib!

"Grandfather" refers to the Askari shrines, which is in Samarra, a Sunni town, that is what he refers to by "buried among the Nawasib." In Shia lexicon, Nawasib is the most extreme form of insult you could bestow upon a person, it means a devout enemy of Shia. The poem is also unusual in the sense that it explicitly refers to the names of the First and Second Caliphs (although still somewhat coyly through their tribe names), an extreme rarity as they are usually hinted to as "the people" or just "them."

I find in this poetry a reflection of a more popular resentment, yes, even though the Shia doctrine is hostile to Sunnism, it tries to bury those conflicts so not to cause controversy. But when the Shia Arabs were not warmly accepted by their Arab neighbors, and when terrorists began to blow up Shia markets, culminating in an outright demolishion of a holy shrine, the Shias found less and less reasons to embrace the desire to keep this peace and to declare the ancient hostiliy more brazenly ; it's a reaction, not an action. The Sunnis in general should've been more receptive to Shiites, but they chose to be hostile and a hindrance.

On the other hand, the Shiites should not have announced their arrival to dominance with such a venegance. If the Baathis and the renegade al-Qaeda started to attack Shia indiscriminately, the Shia government gave the general Sunni population, both inside Iraq and outside it, more and more reasons to view the conflict as encompassing Wahhabi and Sunni alike. They basically
justified the Sunni fears that they will be marginalized even if they chose to participate, they
killed innocent civillians by the dozen just the same , and then there was the sloppy, sectarain-themed timing and execution of Saddam Hussein (a very stupid move then was made by Sistani's deputy, who called for Saddam to be executed between the shrines of Hussein and Abbas), the disbanding of the army, and the engulfing of Iraq into a perpetual mourning ceremony whose greatest concern was sealing off everyday life from one Ziyara to the next, another needless of demonstration that we are Shia and we are in power, so eat your heart out.

And this is why Iraq is fucked, because a theocratic government would often tend to aggravate the opposite sect as the difference between the two sects is hostile. This is especially true of Shiism because, like I said, its practices are more apparent, more encompassing, and are filled with dramas, ceremonies, and rituals, which would make the Sunnis alienated and indirectly remind them of those hostilies, on the other hand, regular Sunni Islam* on the other hand is just reading Qur'an and going to Friday prayers, and isn't offensive to any Shia figure.

What we need is a secular government that would realize the danger of religion on Iraq, a government that recognizes Shia dominance and practices but does not make it a perpetual all-encompassing feature of the state, a government that greatly enforces the identity of being an Iraqi before everything else, and the Shia slogans and murals that you will find everywhere if you go to Iraq today always serves to remind you that some people are 'less' Iraqi than others. It is my opinion that this state is impossible to create today, as to why, it's for another time.

For now, I dedicate this hymn to my Shia brothers, it's called Ajat al Aasreen, if anyone knows what this maqam is this please tell me because it sounds like a traditional Iraqi mode and I love it very much.

عجت العصرين و أسود الفضا من طحت يحسين يبن المرتضى

* Excluding probably Wahhabism, it also serves to remind oneself that the dominant form of Sunnism in the Ottoman times was Sufi, a trippy music-loving form itself.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Iraqi Review: Valley of the Wolves - Irak (Kurtlar Vadisi)

ex-Gilgamish once asked me to review this movie at the time of the Turkish incursions, I was willing to do so but the Turks didn't oblige by giving me the appropriate circumstances again, until today: They have launched a full-scale operation with a codename and all, so now is a good time to review the movie touted as the most expensive in Turkish cinema (10.2$ mil to make, made 26.7$, by comparison the most expensive Egyptian (and Arab) film took 4$ mil to make).

The movie shows its horrid premise as a nationalist propaganda piece right from the first frame, a Turkish officer writes to an old ex-Turkish intelligence friend about the shame and disgrace he felt when he was forced to walk out of their station somewhere in northern Iraq with a hood on their heads, which is based on an actual event apologized by Rumsfeld at the time called the Hood Event. Of course, the brave Turk takes annoying lengths in parading his pride and dignity before this takes place, after sealing the letter, he commits suicide, boo hoo.

the recipient of the letter is our brave hero, I forgot his name and I won't bother to look it up so I'll just call him Mr. Big Khasawi (Big Cojones), Abu Khasawi reads the letter, and instead of laughing his ass off at his pathetic pal who took his life for wearing hijab for five minutes ; he immediately hitchhikes to Iraq with 3 Turkish mofos to meet their destination, the super-villian Mr. Arrogant White Jesus Freak (played by Billy Zane, who's probably a registered democrat) who committed this horrible ass-rape of the great Turkish pride, which is only heard of in Turkey, of course.

I must admit that the only fun I had in this movie was watching the Americans get a share of their own poison, as an Arab who's frequently reduced to a stereotype in powerfully influential American films, I had the immense pleasure of watching the Americans here portrayed as nothing but cold, ruthless beasts with little regard for human life, the soldiers look dirty and sport funny degraded haircuts, there's also a Jewish doctor who specializes in stealing human organs (Yes, delicious guilty-pleasure anti-semitism! boo-hoo!) from corpses to sell them someplace else (too bored to concentrate where) and they're led by a glinting-eyes lunatic who believes in spreading the word of Jesus. Of course that stereotype is easier to refute than the Arabs in western media, but that's only because American culture is so recognizable ; it was really fun to watch Billy Zane holding children hostage like a lowly creature.

The problem is that the Turks don't stop there ; this film is an insult to everyone else as well, the Kurds are nothing but American stooges, while the others are helpless, idiotic sheep, only Mr. Khasawi seems to be holding his pants up as a human being. Just look at the picture, the amount of presence (and balls) this Turk has is just Subhan-Allah-unbelievable. The only other positive character is a religious sheik called Abdul-Rahman Kirkukli, an uber-respected sane-sage-in-crazy-world dude who persuades some pathetic Arab Jihadists about to behead a Western Journalism to drop their weapons and then teaches them the true meaning of Islam, it took me about 0.34 seconds to realize that this sheikh is Turkmen, and with a Turkmen named Kirkukli, the nasty Turkish intent is fully blazing here. I bet Barazani was pissed.

Even though Iraq and most of the Arab world was part of the Ottoman Empire for a long period of history, I must admit I know very little about Turks except for the Zagur chewing gums with collectible stickers we used to buy in our childhood (at the time they said it was an Israeli conspiracy and the gum caused sterility, well, I'll tell you if that's true when I get married), so I thought that this was a good chance to become familiar with the Pashas of yore and as a secular I wanted to learn more about the former Caliphate which did an 180 to secularism successfully, sadly, all I came out was the impression that Turks are flag-waving maniacs who think very smugly of themselves and believe they got the market cornered on the meaning of Islam. At the end of the film, the female hero, an Iraqi (Turkmen? her costumes are so weird, more like Indian if you ask me) whose husband was killed by the Piggy Americans and who wanted to become a suicide bomber meets with the Alpha-Male Khasawi who resuces her, together our zero-chemistry heroes kill the Nazionist Billy Zane but he kills the tender Iraqi before her Turkish savior gets to go all kissy on her. boo-hoo.

PROS: Americans look stupid. Thank you brothers in Islam. :D
CONS: Totally Turkish fist-pumping action flick, totally unbelievable in arrogance, at least Saving Private Ryan was believable.

المشكلة مو بالحجاج, المشكلة الوطن ذابح روحه

Neurotica seems to agree with me about the inevitable doom of Iraq, in fact she has become as disillusioned and escapist as me recently.


دَعوتُ عَلَى عَمْرو فَلمّا فَقدته بُليتُ بأقوامٍ بكيتُ على عمرو

bil ro7, bil dam, nifdeek [yaho il chan]. :(

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'd Rather Live The Lie

Noam Chomsky angry discourse on US politics and the disappearance of the subject of Iraq from the 2008 elections. While I don't agree with his rationale : Chomsky clearly blames the US for every crisis in the world, but it does ring true in many ways, especially his handling of the idiocy regarding the number of deaths, and how American hawks think they own the world and the Iraqi "unpeople"are just tools that can be magically made to do as required in the end.

There's no doubt in my mind that the US knew Saddam Hussein was just a tired, petty old geezer who just wanted to grow old and die in his private ranch, Iraq. They clearly have not a care for either Kurdish or Shia oppression and are probably cursing the day they listened to people like al-Chalabi, who explained to them that Iraqis are freedom-loving people with a clear sense of nationhood that only need to be rescued from the cruel dictator, and not a collection of sects still living in a medieval mentality where that dictator was the only force holding it together, a country where most of the population would listen to their God's representatives, the Ayatollahs, before anyone else. We all knew the stuff about WMDs were lies exacerbated as an excuse, however, fed up with living long days in backwardness, we [well, Kurds, Shias, and me with a few ignorant Sunnis who didn't know what Iraq really is] cheered for that lie because we thought Saddam was the only reason stopping us from a modern advanced country.

Today, after looking the ugly truth in the eye. I'd rather curl up and die in the comforting fact that Iraq will not be a modern country because my scapegoat, Saddam is suffocating it than realize the fact that a solid "Iraq" isn't there to exist in the first place.

John Kerry Explains Sunni-Shiite Unity Myth

This contains some grade-A bullshit, but there are also some very true points, everything colored in red is bullshit, and the valid points are in blue, my comments are in italic bold.

"I sat with the governor of Anbar, the sheikhs, and I asked this question to them I said point blank: Is there anything pressuring you or forcing you to make a decision tomorrow about reconciling between Shia and Sunni and he looked at me and smiled and said no, not really. They're all playing a game, they're jockeying for power, they're jockeying for the oil revenue, they're jockeying for the ultimate confrontation (Kerry was talking specifically about a confrontation in modern-day Iraq, although it serves to remind you how far off Sunnis and Shias are religiously and not just politically) which has come to either peacefully or not, you know, in another way, in this struggle between Shia and Sunni, which incidentally ladies and gentlemen goes back to 682, there's a wonderful book out there called the Shia Revival (Shia biased obviously) by Vali Nasr (Iranian) and it traces the history of this struggle. and it goes back really to when Ali (not Ali, his son Hussein) the grandson of the Prophet Muhammed, who was slaughtered in the desert, they cut off their heads, took their heads back to Najaf (actually Kufa, Najaf didn't exist, but we can forgive that cuz Kufa is now a city in Najaf province) and posted them and then they took them to Damascus. and you know, ever since then, there's been this struggle, and guess how many there were in the desert fighting with Hussein, 72, does the number 72 ring a bell with you? That was the beginning of martyrdom (hilarious) and the whole theory now that if you kill yourself you'll go to paradise, 72 virgins are waiting for you and so on and so forth, (tear-laughter!) that's where it all began. This fight has been going on for a long time folks and we just stepped in the middle of it. Only what we did, was uncork a corker, because we took 20% (Kerry makes it seem as if Sunnis were always 20%. Historically we don't know about Sunni-Shia distribution prior to the Mongol invasion, but southern Iraqi bedouin tribes only converted to Shiism 200 years ago, since then that rate has been growing - as compared to the 60% figure today, a British 1919 census put Shia population at 53%) of the population that used to run this county, and the 60% Shia that never could and now the 60% Shia have the ballet votes which you know they could never have achieved by the sword, and the 20% who were running the place for the past 1300 years (right but in a wrong context, the Sunni rule was often interrupted by Persian Shia intermissions (Buwyahids, Saffavids, and partly Today) and there's an importance in the fact that Shias were for most of their history after the occultation of Mahdi in a passive standby state until he re-emerges, hence the lack of resistance) are saying: wait a minute, something's wrong ; and that's what's going on. You can't resolve it with our military. "

Link (Real, scroll to 27 min)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

لابعاد السياسية والاجتماعية لتجميد فعاليات جيش الامام المهدي (عج)

احلى شي من دمبكجية مقتدى يحاولون يتأولون طلاسم السلوك الإرتعاشي لقدو....والله اذا تقرا هاي المقالة يخيل لك دتقرا عن فد فطحل من جهابذة العرب...مو فد واحد حمله و فصاله ثلاثون شهرا....زين عيني؟ خره بالوضع....قرأت المقالة وهنا على وهن ثم أرسلت هذه الرسالة للكاتب

سيدي العزيز صادق الحسناوي
تحية طيبة و بعد
تتذكر يا سيدي العزيز لمن صدام حسين جان يتريع و ثاني يوم تخرج الجرايد و المجلات و الدمبكجية: تريوعة القائد دعم لمسيرة النضال ضد العدو الغاصب

لكم مخلصنا من اللوكية مال صدام طلعتونا انتو....ولك يا ابعاد استراتيجية انت اللاخ هوه مقتدة بالكوة يا الله ممشيها و انتو جاي تفسرون كلامه كانه الدرر تتساقط من فمه الشريف .....هم زين اكو ايميل علمود اكدر اكفر بدينك و متكدر تعتقلني....لك والله يجي يوم و اشوفه لهذا مقتدى يجبروه يلعب طوبة بالشورت كدام كل العالم و كل العراق يأشر عليه باكبر اصبع و يضحك من كل قلبه اي والله لان رجع لموقعه الطبيعي...نصيحتي الك تتفحص ظهر قائدك حجة الاسلام لتجد البطارية الإيرانية فما هو الا دمية يلعب بها ثم ترمى على كولة ابو حفصة
Emirati Ben Kerishan blogger (Arabic) provides a concise, humorous and insightful summary of the history of development of Salafist Wahhabism in Saudi Arabia, one of the most dangerous evils in our present world.
Kissinger thinks (or at least he pretends to think) that Iran has dreams of rekindling old Persian dreams of domination. He also says Bush will be looked upon more favorably in less than 50 years. I agree with Kissinger in that a cut and run withdrawal of US forces from Iraq would greatly empower radical Islam, not to mention an official kick-start of the civil war, but I would further elaborate that it would empower both [Sunni] and [Shia] radicalism, two very different components with highly different, and mutually hostile, objectives.

This is going to be huge. For some reason I can't wait for the civil war to really begin, I'm tired of the fruitless Green Zone foreplay.

Monday, February 25, 2008


This is almost on par with Shalash al-Iraqi, I've been following this Ameer al-Magamee'a guy for a while and he's quickly polishing his material. This is an extremely rude and extremely hilarious satire of Sunni MP Khalaf al-Alyaan, in which he supposedly tries to pose nude after reading about Victoria Beckham's recent stunt. It's a shame he's a tad sectarian in some of his articles, but that doesn't mean he's not funny.

غيرة بيكهام وتفاعل خلف العليان

A New Crush

She looks so dumb, but I can't take my eyes off her.
If you're wondering why I'm posting this, it's because I'm trying to write something and it's not coming out right.
UPDATE: She just won. She's so clueless and childish ; I don't think she's dumb anymore ; she's just socially naive and clumsy. Maybe that's what I like about her.
UPDATE2: I forgot to include al-Jazeera's Barbie Iman Eiyad (Banoura), perhaps the only good thing ever coming out of al-Jazeera.

Marion Cotillard

In order to emphasize the masturbatory filler quality of this post, here's a list of all the previous celebrity women I fell head over heels with at some time.

Catherine Zeta-Jones
It's kinda predictable for somebody to have a crush on Catherine Zeta Jones, the embodiment of confident, beautiful aristocracy, her beauty is too predictable anyway, I prefer more exotic women, thankfully the combination of leadership and exotic have been fully realized here:

Aishwarya Rai
Too much to on earth will the 72 Virgins compete with that?

Shannon Doherty

This was Noorhan, an Egyptian actress, she is the only celebrity I really had a crush on, I totally loved her when I was 15. and not just a crush, it was a crush with feelings.

Are you seeing a pattern yet? They all look suspiciously alike...hmm...what does this mean, Freudians? Oh, that reminds me, when I was younger than that I had a crush on this one:

Snow White

Last, but not least, I had a crush on this Iraqi TV presenter, I couldn't find pictures for her anyway but she's right here interviewing Iraqi homosexual icon Saadi al-Hilli

Goddammit, she even looks like them, guess I must have been wanting to sleep with Snow White for 23 years real bad.

Yes, I'm 23, could you please stop referring me to as a genius 20-years-old, I'm as old as Riverbend when she started blogging.

I'm going to go watch the Oscars now, for Cotillard.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Myth of The Surge

Listen to Nir Rosen, this guy has got it nailed:

But such political maneuvers don't really matter in Iraq. Here, street politics trump any illusory laws passed in the safety of the Green Zone. As the Awakening gains power, Al Qaeda lies dormant throughout Baghdad, the Mahdi Army and other Shiite forces prepare for the next battle, and political assassinations and suicide bombings are an almost daily occurrence.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Myth Of Sunni-Shia Unity

When you ask an Iraqi if he is Sunni or Shia, he gets annoyed and pissed off as if it is a huge insult, however, you should keep in mind that he is not insulted because he believes Sunnis and Shias are united and that we are all Muslims, he is afraid that you will realize how much of a conflict is suppressed behind closed doors, in public venues, Iraqis of various sects pretend the same moronic hypocrisy, however, as soon as they are behind closed doors they start to curse the shit out of each other's sect. Sure, Iraqis may be united by language, customs, or culture, but religion will always be a throng in that unity's foundation ; because Sunnis and Shias, religiously speaking, are mortal enemies. However, because Shias have long been oppressed, and because their vengeance is postponed until the Mahdi arrives, they have learned to go about their lives with caution, in spite of that, the Sunnis view them with the utmost distrust, and it's very easy today to visit any Shia website and read those facts. The fact is, Sunnis and Shias are hostile, and they only keep their peace because they are reluctant to speak out about their disunity. A person like Yassir al-Habib might be considered an extremist in that vein, but what he is doing is only being frank about it.

I will recount a short-short summary of the history of Islam as seen by both Sunnis and Shias, you can decide after that if there is any chance that Sunnis and Shias are united, (and which side's version is funnier.) Please remember that people who are ruling Iraq today take this very, very seriously.

1. THE SHIA VIEW (cuz it's more exciting)

Once upon a time, there was a prophet called Muhammed.
Before Muhammed died, he appointed his cousin, Ali, as his successor.
Unfortunately, a homosexual [1], scheming, bastard, early companion named Umar conspired with another prominent companion, Abu Bakr, and they usurped the caliphate.
Every companion of Muhammed agreed with them, except four, who remained Muslims (=Ali should be Caliph.)
Ali, who is infallible, naturally did not agree, he kept in his house.
the bastard homosexual and his old geezer friend Abu Bakr went to force Ali to accept their rule.
When he did not come out Umar broke the door, and held Ali's also infallible wife, Fatima, behind the door, crushing her, breaking her rib, causing her pregnant son to die, only to die six months later.
Ali, the bravest companion of all responds to all this by....grudgingly accepting their rule "to preserve the unity of Muslims, and because Muhammed told him to." You can't argue with the dead, or the divine.
On top of this, Ali actively works as a judge and an advisor for Abu Bakr and Umar.
22 years later, Ali becomes Caliph.
He is opposed by a [Sunni] Umayyad ruler called Muawiya,
Ali is killed in the battle and Muawiya rules.
Ali's son al-Hasan decides to stop the fight, because "he is infallible and you can't argue with the divine." Muawiya poisons him and gets rid of him. Muawiya dies and appoints his drunken son Yazid as successor.
As soon as this happens, Hussein, immediately decides to fight again, he marches to fight and is killed by Yazid's army, it is this battle which Shias commemorate every year with much flagellation, crying, and outcries for vengeance, as you know, Yazid wasn't a Jew or a pagan, he was a Sunni.

Hussein's son, the 4th Infallible Imam, as well as his son, are poisoned by another Sunni Umayyad called Hisham.
6th, al-Sadiq, is also poisoned by Abu Jaffar al-Mansur, the Sunni Abbasid who built Baghdad, five days after Shia assumed power in 2005, his statue in Baghdad was destroyed. (note how this link gracefully ignores this fact, thinking it is the work of the usual suspects: Americans and Zionists.)
the 7th Imam, al-Kadhum, was poisoned by the infamous Sunni caliph Harun al-Rashid.
the 8th Imam, al-Rida, was tricked by Harun's son, al-Ma'mun, who feigned Shia inclinations, only to poison him.
the 9th Imam, al-Taqqi, was posioned by Sunni caliph al-Mu'tasim, builder of Samarra.
the 10th Imam, Ali al-Hadi, was poisoned by Sunni al-Mutawwakil, on top of that, al-Mutawwkil was a supreme hater of Shias who levelled Hussein and Ali graves to the ground.
the 11th infallible....poisoned...Sunni....
the 12th, the Mahdi, hid in a cave because the Sunni Abbasids were about to kill him, he is still in hiding until today and will come out one day.
Ever since then, the Shias have been oppressed and squashed, remember that those who oppressed them were not Christians or Jews.
And so Shias call upon him to come out and set right all the injustice that have been heaped upon them, the Mahdi will resurrect all those enemies I just mentioned and kill them, he will also "kill the sons of Umayyads because of the oppression of their fathers."

******* Now for the Sunni version********
Once upon a time a Prophet Muhammed died and went to heaven.
Everyone lived happily ever after, Abu Bakr, his closest friend and companion, ruled
followed by the Prince of Believers, the one who made Islam proud, Umar
followed by Uthman, the first six years of Uthman's rule were merry.
However the Joooz could not keep quite while the Muslims expanded.
A sneaky bastard Joo called Ibn Saba pretended to be a Muslim and started inciting people against Uthman. (remember that this unknown Ibn Saba manipulated the minds of thousands of Muslims while Muhammed's most prominent companions were still alive)
He started a belief that all prophets have viceroys, and Muhammed's viceroy, Ali, was denied his rights by Uthman (and Abu Bakr and Umar)
This nobody (Ibn Sabaa) is the reason why the companions (who are all awesome) beat the shit out of each other,
And why Uthman (another awesome dude) was laid to rot for three days, even though he was one of the 10 the prophet promised paradise
And why Aisha (the wife of the prophet who the West mainly remembers for being the six-year-old bride) waged war against Ali.
Soon the Persians caught up on this and began to incorporate their own beliefs into this filthy Joo Ibn Sabaa cult, and ever since then they have been allies for anyone fighting the Muslims.
For example, The Baghdadi vizier who opened the door for Mongols was Shia, called Ibn al-Alqami.
Yes yes, we are all Muslims, and Iraqis have been living peacefully for thousands of years (note that most of what had happened above occured in Iraq.) Har Har. If anything, Sunnis and Shias are even more far from each other than Muslims and Christians. They will forever be hostile to each other.

Norman Finkelstien: Israel Has To Suffer A Defeat

Although I don't fully agree with this guy but I must say I'm pretty impressed.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

My Ayatollahs مراجعي العظام

An Ayatollah is a Marja-a-Taqlid, if you adhere to Ayatollah, it means you completely adhere to his prinicples and matters without question.
Those are my Ayatollahs, I love them almost to the verge of worship.
Three years ago, I harbored the same divine sentiments to James Hetfield.
Ten years ago, to A.J. McLean.

المولى المقدس ايه الله العظمة علي الوردي (قدس الله زره)
اضغط على الصورة لتحميل اشهر مؤلفاته

المولى المقدس حجة الإسلام و المسلمين سماحة السيد طه حسين (رضي الله عنه و ارضاه)

زنبور الدين و كافور المسلمين اياد جمال الدين (سهل الله خراجه

For English speakers, the people above are:
1. Ali al-Wardi (Iraqi Shia)
2. Taha Hussein (Egyptian Sunni)
3. Ayad Jamal al-Din (Iraqi Shia)

اعلن امامكم ان برقبتي بيعة هؤلاء النفر الى يوم مماتي والله على ما اقول شهيد .
p.s. if anyone has books for Hasan al-Alawi, gimme, he looks like a potential Ayatollah save for his idiotic Omar Wa Tashuyyu3 book.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Satanic Comments

One of my favorite hobbies is reading the idiotic comments left on al-Arabiya news items by people from all over the Arab world, there's even some sort of sub-culture thing going there with famous commentors and stuff. Fortunately, there is someone out there who shares this little habit with me, read her she's good.
Speaking of inane comments, you guys should take a break and read what people have been suggesting to Last of Iraqis at his last post, the list includes Kuwait, Ramadi (cuz it's mostly angelic Sunni :P), Iran (cuz it's gonna annex you anyway), I held my breath for Mali (cuz it starts with the same letter as your name) but then it took a huge plunge down stupidity when Jeffrey suggests for him to stay and rebuild your great country in a line that took me straight back to the glorious Hamlat al-Iimar of the Post-1991 war by Sadoomi, I did issue a ceremonious fatwa on these guys, but now I'm seriously considering shedding their cyber-blood, Salman Rushdie on your ass!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Things Are "Better"

My best friend during primary school was killed a month ago by a stray bullet in Baghdad. He was a Turkmen, I only knew of him yesterday.

Coupled with my four dead friends, Haji Amir, and a college acquaintance, this is the 7th person that I directly know who was killed since the war.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Jordan Pardons Staying Fines of Iraqis

Something's going on.

the Jordanian street is today boiling after the lifting the subsidiaries off the economy, which sent prices to the roof ; meanwhile, after ranting about the cost of Iraqi refugees here, the Jordanian government has supposedly forgiven the cumbersome 1.5 JD a day fines from 360 thousand "illegally staying" Iraqis, this was presumably done at the request of Vice president Tariq al-Hashimi (I caught myself before adding the S-word before his excellency's name) who said this move would encourage Iraqis to return home due to the improved security conditions currently in Iraq. I'm still skeptical about this, as I've heard it many times before, but let's see.
One wonders if many Iraqis are actually going to return, I don't really think the ones who will return will do so out of the improved security conditions, which I believe is propagandist, but out of desperation ; there are many Iraqis here who have accomplished nothing and are living on their savings, on the other hand, there are many rich ones who are well-off. In any case, the one thing that I know is fore sure is that the Jordanian security officials have been doing raids on Iraqis recently.

Younis, a friend of a friend, is an Iraqi in his 20s who came here seeking to 'make something for himself', however, he cannot even afford to rent a room, so he sleeps in a shop where he works, the manager of that shop pays him about 200$ a month for 16 hours work, 4 of which is outside Amman, one day he was walking and then he got apprehended by the police, who held him in prison for more than a week, Younis's S-passport is expired and even his UNHCR registration card was expired as well, and his Jordanian boss refused to have anything to do with it, citing his reluctance to interfere given that he is employing an illegal alien without a work permit ; he even prevented a Jordanian co-worker from going there to bail him, ordering him to do it when he's not working, in the end, Younis's brother managed to find a friend who is an associate of the governor, who negotiated his release, Younis went to renew his passport and then he went to UNHCR, who offered him the free services of a lawyer as he is now required to go now for an interrogation. On top of all that, the governor's friend wants 2,200 JD (3100$) for his trouble. His brother had to borrow some money to pay him off.
Today, Jamal, another Iraqi co-worker in the shop, was almost arrested by the Jordanian security had he not been warned by the nearby barber that they are searching the area, he quickly exchanged places with a Jordanian customer, the police came in and thoroughly searched the shop and the back-rooms, perhaps acting on a tip?
A female acquaintance of mine was also recently fired from her work, she said that her company told her that the Jordanian security are searching for Iraqis without work permits rather excessively those days.

On a related note, Last of Iraqis is rejected at the borders again, naturally, he is pissed, he was rejected once before, so this didn't come as a surprise to me. My cousin was also rejected twice, they aren't impressed with insistence.

Also Today, Imad Mughniya, a scary Hezbollah muthuh, was assassinated - rather suspiciously, in Damascus! That guy looked sneaky AND good-looking, he would've made a sweet movie villain. Reactions in the Middle East were based basically on your sectarian affiliation.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

About The Blog

Some of you are probably wondering about the things that are happening to me, and the changes of the blog and what prompted them. Here's a quick explanation.

When SCIRI/Badr first started assassinating Sunnis in Baghdad left and right, I couldn't hear anyone reporting it for a long time, people would show up on TV and talk about national peace and unity while Sunnis were being killed everywhere, there was absolutely no mention of the story anywhere, but it was the talk of the town ; I felt as if nobody would hear our voice and that made me so afraid, in fact, it was the only reason I voted for the Sunni Islamic 618 bloc and not the 731 Secular Allawi one. It was about a month later when the story began to unfold on TV and Newspapers.

What I want to illustrate here is that things might change on the inside quite a long time before they do so visibly. The changes that I implemented to this blog and the desire to do so have been long thought of, I just didn't know how I would finally impart with the name I've been using for quite a long time now, after all, "Konfused Kollege Kid" was a gimmicky name for a gimmicky blog, as you can read from my earlier posts, I had totally different aspirations then, kinda like a more articulate version of Pentra.
People have been telling me how black hurts the eyes, and I must say I agree with them ; I'm not so satisfied with the headline picture, all the time I have the urge to fill the spaces to the left and right, what do you think?
As for the name, the Arabic signifies that Arabic language is going to play a more prominent role here, I can't decide whether I will dedicate another blog for it or just throw the whole thing here.
Shaqshaqa is taken from a famous Shiite sermon in which the usually reserved Ali throws a fit and rants about his lost caliphate title in a very angry, but articulate manner, after he is interrupted one of his companions ask him to continue but Ali replies to him dramatically: "O' Ibn `Abbas it was like the foam of a Camel (Shaqshaqa) which gushed out but subsided." Meaning he has calmed down now. I've always loved the word 'Catharsis', which basically means a similar, but less Camel-inclined, thing in English.
So people, don't worry, I'm really feeling quite okay.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Egypt Wins African Cup

Aside from our usual export of terrorism, we seem to be dominating the world in another, unpredictable category.

Left: Iraqi captain Younis Mahmood holds the 2007 Asian Cup after blasting Saudi Arabia 1-0 in the final, Egyptian captain Ahmed Hassan does the same to the African 2008 cup after soundly bashing Cameroon 1-0 yesterday.

The two finals were eerily similar, both Iraq and Egypt dominated their games against serious contenders before the effort finally translated into a frenzied lone goal in the last quarter of the game.

What is different, is the after-party, at least in Amman.
After Iraq, the Iraqi diaspora in Jordan, some 500,000 (750,000 in some estimations) squeezed in the upscale Rabia district of the capital and danced their life off, for about 20 minutes ; before the efficient Jordanian batons made short of their gathering, I was present there, and I still remember the vicious ruthlessness of the masked black-clad men, (is it our fate to be always chased by masked black-men?) many young men were arrested, and anyone who simply carried the Iraqi flag was at least reprimanded.
Yesterday, when Egypt won the cup, some 700-800 Egyptians gathered in the Sowaylih district, they weren't as much, but they closed down the traffic all right. I had a small argument with a taxi driver who insisted that the reason was that the Iraqi started 'breaking stuff', whatever, the true reason, of course, is the social anxiety against Iraqis in Jordan, as explained by Egyptian blogger Sandmonkey during his visit to Jordan in 2006. Of course, Sandmonkey offers the cliched Jordanian view of the stinky rich Iraqis who are heavily investing in the small poor country, which is half-true, but I believe a large share of the antagonism can be fairly blamed on this guy, who cared more about his Pan-Arab image than his own citizens:
More on that later when I have more time, for now, congratulations Egypt. I am a big fan of Egypt and will always be one. I do realize that Iraqis have a lot to resent from their fellow Arab brethren, and how incredibly damaging tyrannical and shallow approaches to Pan-Arabism have been to the Middle East in general, but I still believe that Pan-Arabism can one day be married to less violent interpretations, even though I feel incredibly alienated and estranged from Jordanians, my philosophy will always be:
بلادي و ان جارت علي عزيزة وأهلي و ان شحوا علي كرام
Sandmonkey seems to have made good friends with Jordanian bloggers, they seem to be an okay bunch, I really liked the way the Jordanian-Iraqi brawl about the Queen Alia international Airpot ended, maybe I should try and be more connected with them ; unfortunately for me, my only experience was with an immature Jordanian blogger who confirmed those hostilities Sandmonkey talked about.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Pay It Forward - Muslim Version

I just came back with my mom from the local C-Town, we bought an ironing board. When we wanted to return home, all the taxis would take one look at the long board and say: we're sorry, the trunk is full. They wanted more money to take it up.

A man came to us, asked us where we were going, it wasn't where he was going, but he insisted to give us a lift in his pick-up truck. He refused to take any money, all he asked for was my mom's prayers for him.

I don't think that man had seen Pay It Forward. Gee, could the evil barbaric Muslims + the unsmiling Iraqi-hating Jordanians be that kind?

A New Role Model

One day, I wish I could write just as good.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Wake Up and Smell The Shiite

Ali al-Wardi said in the conclusion of his seminal book Wu'aadh al-Salatin (Sultans Preachers), published in the 1950s:

"Religious fervor in Iraq weakened, but sectarianism remained: Iraqis became sectarian but non-religious, an interesting thing indeed!

It can be said, anyway, that sectarianism in Iraq is on its way to oblivion, it cannot function in society long after the departure of its father, religion, it is now dying ; and will join its dead father sooner of later."
Poor Mr. al-Wardi, I bet he must be rolling in his grave repeatedly. Even in the Western World, one's identification with his religion takes a long time to fade after his actual devotion.

I'm tired, I'm sick and tired of advocating an idea that doesn't exist, talking about principles that are nowhere near the ground and never will be for centuries to come, we are still living in the Medieval Ages of religious persecution, no foreign-installed democracy is going to change that, the 20th century sudden-shock efforts of modernization in the Middle East have quickly vanished as people reverted back to the way they were.

Never be fooled, like I was, that the idea of a secular, unified Iraq is an actual possibility that can be attained in the next elections or so, all these writers and bloggers who started to write one day, eager about the possibilities of the bright future, slowly and surely all of them realized that horrid facade at one point or another, in effect, they all tone their arguments, whether they are resisting the occupation, or focusing on al-Qaeda or Saddam's crimes endlessly, around a single focal unconscious point, they all pretend that they care about the single unified Iraq but what they really want to say is that we don't like the other side and we never will.

In the past, inquiring about one's sect was somewhat of an insult, but are Iraqis really that mindful of their Iraqiness more than their religion? OF COURSE NOT. It's only social hypocrisy, one of the most deep-seated diseases of double-standards here. As long as religion is not completely eliminated, voluntarily by its adherents, there will never be common ground to build between the two sects to create the ideal nation-state ; the fundamentals of the Shia faith are built, quite simply, to vilify and demonize the 'founders' of Sunnism ; this ideological barrier is now brought to the forefront as common masses, even seculars, atheists, rediscover and entrench those mutual hostilities. Moderates on both sides will be more likely to embrace the pride of their religion rather than saunter to break an ice that has been sitting there for 1,400 years.

The Shias don't really care about just democracy, human rights, civilization or any of that nonsense ; what matters for them is that they are in power. You can see that quite clearly by the way they defend Abu Deraa, virtually a Shia Zarqawi, as a hero of the common masses, The Brits realized what a colossal mistake it would be to install a people who are still clung to Pope-style theocracy and decided, rather wisely, against it. It worked for a while, until the Iranian revolution, coupled with Saddam's heroic aspirations, came along, but mostly, it was Iran's desire to spread theocracy that gave Saddam the excuse he badly needed.
The Americans, in their arrogance, cared little about details, and aided by faux-secular opportunists like Mr. Chalabi, they gave the Shias the upper hand again. I don't think it will last long either.
This report by the Crisis Group is a fascinating detail about the Sadrist role in the civil war, the amount of bloodshed mentioned in the report is quite ridiculous, and yet there are still asswipes still believe the death count is somewhere around 150,000.
almost 75% of Baghdad is now Shia, bombarded by ugly truths such as these, which greatly damages the fragile common ground between Sunnis and Shiites and accentuates the ever present religious and social hostility and differences between the two in one's perceptions, a moderate guy like me who still until recently dreamed about a secular Iraq would have no choice but reconsider his identity ; repeatedly through reading the report, the image of finding a Shiite, repeatedly beating the shit out of him and telling him to go back to live in the Iraq that is now his came to my mind.

Of course, one would always hope for a social uprising of some sort, but the bitter truth speaks otherwise.

I decided to make dinner, I had an innocent conversation with my sister, she was talking about the difficulties of the paperwork she had in college and the alienation she felt there, in the end she said: "I miss Saddam, I never realized I would say this one day but I really long for his shitty days."

For the first time ever, I understood.

After a year of complaining repeatedly about how much everybody loves Saddam, after realizing that everything I stand for were very remote pipe dreams, that in the end, when you realize these lies, when your own being is attacked, you have to defend your identity, so, against all that I believed in, I could only sigh and say:

"Me too."

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Small Note On Post Below

There are no good Shia or bad Sunnis, it's strictly politics.

An interesting analogy to understand the nature that: The recent Mahdawiya incidents in Iraq, which tried to rebel against the mainstream Shia community, have been mercilessly assaulted, wronged, oppressed and described as being 'hypnotized' and 'recruited by Arab intelligence' by the ruling government and the clergy, in more than one way ; the struggle between Mahdawiya and Shiism is a smaller version of the struggle between Sunnism and Shiism ; a large 'orthodox' group is challenged by a smaller renegade group that attacks the foundations of the orthodoxy and purports to hold divine wisdom.

We can also go completely insane and say that while The Western Judeo-Christian World rapidly progressed through all walks of life, leading in complete global worldwide domination, the Muslims lived in denial, turning inwards on their culture and themselves and have been suffering ever since, producing disastrous solutions like al-Qaeda ; in the same sense, Sunnism as a political system branched out healthily and without divine complications, confident in its rule, while the oppressed Shia lived in denial, feeding upon their own helplessness to create imaginary figures that would come back to the rescue, and eventually, when the Shia transformed from obscure and hazy revolutionary slogan into a comfortable orthodoxy with legal institutions (hawza), the poor and neglected would develop their own ideas and develop movements like those Mahdawiya. Just another fish in the food chain.

The Shia Arab Question

"Shia Arab", a paradox?

NOTE: This article references the following books.
[1] The Social History of Iraq, Ali al-Wardi *Shiite*
[2] Preachers of Sultans, Ali al-Wardi *Shiite*
[3] Story of Shia in Iraq: The Complex and the Dogma, Saif al-Khayatt *Shiite*
[4] States Without Foundations, Abbas Kelidar *Shiite*
[5] When The Shiites Rise, Vali Nasr *Shiite*
[6] Sunni Ambition and Shia Fears, Mohammed Baqir Juwad *Shiite*

A beautiful Iraqi girl sent me a message on Facebook yesterday: "Where in Baghdad are you from?" After I told her I am from al-Adhamiya, she brazenly retored: "A Sunni, at last!" Because she was such a hot babe, I decided to shed a blind eye to her racism, but after a few minutes of conversation, I called it quits, the word "Sunni" was virtually the start of every line, and her hatred of Shias was quite simply more than I could stomach.
This conforms to the behavior of many Iraqis I have met, it is the norm, not the exception, I only know of Sunnis because sectarianism is quite evidently a members-only club, but I'm sure Shias are just as lovely ; what is interesting is that many, far many secular and atheist people that I have met hate, or at least are very suspicious, of Shias not out of religious differences, but simply just so.
And so here is the question that had haunted me for many months now, a question that I ask myself virtually every day, who are the 'real' Iraqis? Doesn't the Iraq that I knew before the war, the inter-marriage and the friendships, mean anything? Isn't this just an unfortunate phase, encouraged by foreign intrusions, before we bounce back someday to our uniform Iraqiness?

The only really good thing about life under Saddam Hussein for me is that the presence of a brutal tyrant violently suppressed all those schisms, many people, including sadly, myself, would rather content themselves with living that miserable lie than realize the bitter and horrible truth of our disunity. A truth that had revealed itself slowly, but surely, that the kinship of sects is enormously more than just a religious banner or because of the brutal acts of Saddam Hussein ; it is who we really are, far back before the modern state of Iraq was created, it explains many things that were amazing to me when I saw them first unfold: how virtually all Sunnis, both Iraqi and Arab, ignored Saddam's brutality and rallied to turn him into a champion-martyr overnight, Because in the end, he is one of 'us.' The secular identification with Iraq, for instance, the one that I talked about loving here, isn't real ; it's what I want it to be, but it isn't real, that country tried hard to bring itself into being, but it failed, there is no such country, we might as well be talking about France or the Waq Waq Islands ; Yes, all Iraqis shed a big wet one about the vague idea of a "One Iraq," but when it comes to details, we all differ quite irrationally. This level of cultural identification slowly reveals itself to people who didn't even realize they have it, like my late atheist Shia friend from Kerbala, whom both him and I cushioned our increasing awareness of our sectarian identity with jokes back in 2006, it is the reason why many good Iraqis who believed that the issue was quite a simple one of human rights and democracy vs tyranny would find themselves surprisingly but inescapably subscribing to those 'tribal' emotions, it is the difference between your people and their people, you can find that sort of thing in many Iraqis, while most are careful not to show it but it comes out in one way or another in the end, good examples about this are Zeyad, Iraqi Mojo and, to a hopefully lesser extent, myself.

So now that we have established that the Sunni-Shia relation is not a common-ground-to-build-upon , it's rather an eat-or-be-eaten kind of thing.


"If pro-Iran parties or politicians dominate the new Iraqi government, a new "crescent" of dominant Shiite movements or governments stretching from Iran into Iraq, Syria and Lebanon could emerge, If Iraq goes Islamic republic, then we've opened ourselves to a whole set of new problems that will not be limited to the borders of Iraq." "Most of the Shiites are loyal to Iran, and not the countries they are living in."

Those quotes did not come from rabid Saudi Wahabbis or vengeful Iraqi Baathists, they are actually the direct quotes of two of the region's most-valued US secular allies, Jordanian King Abdullah and Egyptian president Mubarak, respectively.
These two quotes echo the sentiment of suspicion and outright repulsion that most of the Sunni Arab world views Shiism with, they are not just limited to religious differences, but is quite common among many seculars, like I have talked about earlier. So why exactly are the Sunnis have their panties so up in a bunch because of the Shia ascendancy? Doesn't the Shia have enough commonalities with us not to worry too much about this fuss?!

Sunnis accuse Shiites as being nothing but fifth columnists working for Iranian interests, as articulated by the brazen dismissal in Mubarak's quote. Why are Shias mercilessly insulted as being "Persian Saffavid agents" all the time from virtually all the Sunni Arab world?

Sunnis have a very self-centered explanation of how Shiism evolved, they bring out the usual soliloquy of the conspiracy theory and the evil jew, Abdullah bin Saba'a, to explain how the world was united against us from the beginning in a beautiful anti-semitic tapestry. Ali al-Wardi, who dismissed this ridiculous view, suggests an even more ridiculous one, perhaps affected by the Shiite version of conspiracy theory, he says that the Umayyad Caliph Muawiya tried to sow the seeds of discord between Umar and Ali. While Muawiya was a political genius, no man could quite set up such a devious plan and expect it to be carried out in such macabre detail long after he died, and why make up those cartoon-themed evil megaplots when there is a more rational, logical explanation to all this hoopla that agrees with the way human beings act facing an invasion that destroys their very civilization.

The only point I tried to make in my previous jittery post was the fact that Iranians, once rulers of a great civilization and domain, could not stand by just to see it all go away at the hands of people they held with the utmost inferiority. So when Shiism, a purely Arab resistance movement rose against the oppression of Umayyad monarchy, the Iranians leaped upon the chance to join the ranks of anything that opposed the rule of the invading Arabs, in the same way that the Ba'athists (and Sunnis in general) view the demolition of Saddam Hussein's regime, unjust and brutal as it was, as the end of their "rightful" dominance, even if they do not admit that ; in a sense, orthodox rule of the Caliphate was always attached to Sunnism, and opposition, whether rightful or mischievous, always moved under the guise of Shiism. There is no greater testimony to the statement than the fact that the Abbasids, after successfully assuming the mantle of the Caliphate, turned back on their Shia allies and became Sunnis themselves.

An important fact to notice that virtually all the fringe, gnostic and esoteric sects considered as extremist inventions by both Sunnis and Shias, including the Alawite present-day rulers of Syria, and the Carmathians, who hailed from what is today Saudi Shia regions, raided Mecca and adopted Persian customs of worship, all came from the womb of Shiism.

Another important detail is the fact that almost all the Shia areas in the world were part of the Persian kingdom at one point or another, such as Iran, Iraq, the Gulf, and Yemen. Even though Iran remained largely Sunni for centuries past until the rise of the Saffavids [x], Iran was the place most influenced and ripe for the ideas of Shiism more than any other place in the world, as Ayatollah al-Muntazeri says.

Perhaps an even important problem of being a Shia Arab is that you will view the entire history of the Arab-Muslim state not through pride, but oppression and injustice: every single prominent Arab Muslim is reviled by Shiism, from Umar bin al-Khattab (#51 on William Hart's The 100), to Harun al-Rashid and Saladdin.

It is in my belief then that the Shia-Sunni struggle is influenced in no small detail to the ethnic struggle between the Arabs and the Persians, the Persians, unlike other conquered nations, were a proud and mighty race, who were suddenly treated with inferiority they were not accustomed with, they worked their best to shape the religion that had been imposed upon them, and came out with a distinct identity that separated them from the rest of the Islamic world, allowing it to retain its uniqueness in one shape or another.

The Shias of today are oblivious to all that I have just said, they examine it with a heavy sense of spirituality and holiness that overrules any room for social or political explanations. And leaving all that aside and looking at the current affairs, the question that we must ask is: why SHOULDN'T the Shiites be loyal to Iran?

It is an understatement to say that the Sunnis have fought the Shiites in all the manners that they could, even their participation in the government is quite simply to obstruct political progress almost in all possible ways. Since the rise of the modern Arab nation-states, the Shias have been largely oppressed in the name of the Arab nation, with the identity of "Arab" and "Sunni" closely bonded together, not to mention, of course, the Shias own ideological stance which discourages political action until Imam Mahdi appears, a theory recently challenged by the rise of Vilayet al-Faqih (Deputy of Mahdi) in Iran.

If I was a Shia Arab, I would not hesitate to identify with Iran, which is ruled by a theocratic system based upon my precious beliefs, than I would with Arabs, the majority of whom do not follow my sect, and who view me with suspicion and send their sons to blow up my children and brothers. If anything, those attacks have further helped increase the rift between Arabs and Shias.

So, the Shias are bound to be loyal to Iran out of religious necessity, which is quite frankly the most vital constituent of kinship these days, in addition to the mutual lack of love from their Arab brethren, their identity is vastly different to the orthodox Arabs, and worst of all, Iran, like all theocratic nutcase movements, is expansionist, actively working to spread what it believes to be the divine truth and savior of mankind, it is the ultimate Shiite regional power, gee whiz, if I was Shia, where would I go?

Let me look at my own experience in that field, when I was first tackling those issues, I had a vague notion of Shiites as "people who don't eat Jirri fish and cry over Hussein." but after reading I realized that the differences are vastly more than simply that, the point that agitated me worst of all was, quite embarrassingly, the cursing of the companions ; yes that's right, this whole violent hatred is largely based on what these two sects think about people who died some 1400 years ago. I wouldn't mind flagellation or Mahdi or Mut3a marriage or any of that, but the cursing, lovingly propagated and cemented as a pillar of the Shiite faith by the Saffavids, is something that many orthodox Sunnis, whether obedient or non-practicing simply can't bear, the whole Shiite dogma focuses on the issue of victimization and the personification of those figures as pure evil. It is not just a matter of Sunnis insisting that a guy has black hair and Shias say he has yellow, it is about calling one's mom a bitch or not.

So how can we solve this problem in a manner that makes Shia Arabs acceptable to Sunnis yet enable them in the same time to retain their identity from Iran? Hasan al-Alawi, a former Baathist and a Shia opposition figure who fled Iraq since the 1980s and wrote many books criticizing the sectarian structure of government "Shia and Dawla Qawmiya" wrote a book called "Umar and Shiism," in which he tried to capitalize on a theme introduced by a major Iranian thinker, Ali Shariati, assassinted by Savak in 1975, by saying that the present mainstream Shia view of Umar, perhaps the only real obstacle between Shiism and Sunnism, was a theme that got picked on and propagated by Persian Saffavid nationalists. Of course, and as expected, those efforts were largely neglected and viewed with scorn by Twelver Shia, who looked on the effort as a Wahhabi-financed attempt to create tensions within the Shia community.

It is nice to find an article which can articulate and expand your thoughts better than you, here is a piece written by Mohammed Baqir, a Shia, on the website

"At the heart of all Iraq's problems is the duality of Sunni ambition and Shia worry, it is not a question of contradicting political agendas but is rather a politico-religious struggle that is distinctly sectarian, and has rallied support of many un-Islamic parties. At one side of this equation is a Sunni ambition to return to the days of old, an outright rejection of all the new realities, by the days of of old I mean not the Saddam regime, but the preceding eras of Sunni dominance, a fact supported by various sympathizing neighboring countries, as part of its perspective regarding historical claims of Iraq rule. This is especially felt from the stoic statements given by many Sunni Arabs, actually, their actions are a better mirror of that: Sunni parliamentary blocs curiously abstain from any projects or proposal that reflect an active participation and acknowledgment of the new order in a manner that reflect their desire to serve their voters through democratic means, save for the sectarian denomination system that reinstates sectarianism in the state through division of all posts between Sunnis, Shias and Kurds, in spite of the fact that Sunni Arabs is the component must audibly crying over the sectarianism of the new Iraq!!!! Second, the Sunni Arabs constantly oppose most bills and projects served by majority blocs, especially evident in the presidency where al-Hashimi executes his rights with unjustified stupor. Those reservations stem from their rejection of the new political reality which produced a Shia dominance.
The second dimension is the Shia anxious fear of not lasting in power for a long time, perhaps born out of psychological complexes bound to historical realities or worries about the changing dynamics of US under the pressure of the Arab lobby which does not favor this historical turn which had gave Iraq, with all its historical and religious legacy to an extraneous sect that is largely loyal to Iran, as stated by Egyptian president Hussni Mubarak. Shia are fearful of the diminishing of Iranian influence in Iraq, prominent Shiite politicians rely upon this influence greatly as it forms their repellent of Arab agenda which shall not sit back and watch developments in the interest of Shias for long.
This Arab disfavor of Shia had led to practices targeting Shia in which nationalists and Islamist agenda collaborated through political and/or military means against Shiites, in a way that actively contributed to the more hardline currents embracing justifications to diverge the Shiite path through constitutional means that may seem minor at first, by this we mean federalism.
Federalism was largely a political goal encouraged by audiences out of their conviction in the authority of its political elite. The Samarra incidents strongly ripped the social fabric, forming sectarian ghettos, this segregation led to the reduction of sectarian violence as a direct result of the lack of mingling between sectarian components.
Any observer of Iraq sees without doubt that division is a reality on the ground, only requiring to be recognized in a legal, constitutional facet, and federalism is perhaps the suitable frame in spite of the common belief that it is not an actual federalism but rather a polite inadvertent division. This course could be reversed in the occurrence of either of these three miracles:

1. A totalitarian military-styled government: An unlikely prospect, at least in the near future, due to the lack of any independent military organization detached from political discourse, in addition to the sectarian tensions and the presence of rogue militias, but most importantly the presence of occupation forces, which has sat back idly due to the complexity of the Iraqi scene, which is likely to remain ferociously intertwined for a very long time.
2. Sunni Arab minority acceptance of the new post-Saddam realities and formation of a new equation, also an unlikely outcome, as Sunni Arabs have been religiously attempting to restore things back to the way they were, an effort that we do not expect to see faltering anytime soon.
3. Concession of the Shiites to the rule of Sunni minority, supported by the idea that Shiites in general never did mind the dominance of Sunni rule in exchange for the respect of their rules and the respect of their freedom, a historically supported fact as Shiites never objected to the rule of Sunni minority because it is a minority ; perhaps this last statement is related to social, religious and psychological state of oppression and victimization that always made Shiites accepting of Sunni rule, as if it is a historical necessity. This can be perhaps taken seriously in the past, when Shiites did not have political movements, ideological parties, active militias, and a radical Shiite Islamist neighbor such as Iran, not to mention the fact that they are currently in power.

Although this article is obviously with a pro-Badr Shia slant, it contains many truths.


1. Shia Arabs, for many historical, political, and ideological connotations, will never be embraced by the mainstream Sunni community as equally valid citizens, and vice versa.
2. The problem can only be solved if both sides make concessions: Shia Arabs must make more efforts to distance themselves from Iran and be more receptive to Arabs, a fact somewhat difficult to accomplish with adherence to one's religious beliefs, on the other hand, Sunnis must be willing to embrace them. [Highly unlikely on both fronts.]
3. The normal interaction between the two sects is suspicion.
4. Some Daydream Solutions:

* Everyone will be sick from religion (like I did) after a while and decide to play with Godlessness, if that fails, spray everyone with ATHEIST ACID.
* Nuke the Shia. (~Thanks, Dad.)
* Await for the return of Saddam's Son, our Mahdi (HAHAH, in your face!), who will complete the genocides of Anfal and 1991 and resurrect Hakim and Sadr (La3nat Allah 3alayhim) from their graves to kill them again, and then I can go back home and have some ice cream.
* Invite Hakim, Sadr, Dhari and Dulaimi to a party and whip out drugs and bitches so they can have a jolly good time and realize that we're all human.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Shia Arab Question, Prologue


Azadi, The Persian Baathist

NOTE: Read this first and pretend the links don't exist, then read it with the links.

Glorious Persia,

How I have wished to live in you 200 years ago, under the rightful rule of the Sassanids, blissful in the abode of your lovely domains, I would choose to be anything, details are of no concern to me, let me be a lowly porter in the dirty streets of Shiraz, or a loyal servant of the royal chamber in Ctesiphon. What matters is that I would breathe in every minute the air of your magnificence, the eminence of your culture, that I hold my high high, basking in the power of your empire. The land of the Aryans, destined to rule the world, home of the proud and the noble Persians.

How grave is the insult, devastating the injury, then, to see your domain desecrated by those lizard-eating Bedouins, to see those uncivilized nomads, united in an inexplicable fashion, devouring your terrains and eradicating your legacy, how can I be calm when I see those people which we used to rule in [Iraq], Yemen and the [Persian] Gulf destroy the foundations of your beauty and rule, to see foolish peasants embrace their religion, sometimes welcoming them with wide open arms, celebrating what they claim is release from our tyranny and repression!?! How shameful, it is to see our own brave men abused and sold as second-hand slaves, our women and daughters kept as concubines and spoils of war, how much I had rejoiced at the death of their cursed head, Umar, by the patriotic martyr, Abu Lu'lu', they tried to pretend they came with equality, tolerance and respect in the eyes of their religion in the beginning, but their warped intentions soon became evident, the new rulers, the Umayyads, are actively disrespecting us, shunning us from all public posts and claim that this is the payback for the "inequality" that we used to treat them with, those uncouth scum! We treated them with more than they deserve in the first place, but this is how the vermin Arabs repay kindness, scum remains scum.


For many centuries your enemies have surrounded you from all sides, since time immemorial you have been destroyed a thousand times, many times had they tried, from Alexander the Terrible and his barbarians in the north, to this army of darkness, but you have always managed to come back again, stronger, more powerful, and with a greater sense of pride and duty than ever before, never shall we surrender to the swords of the Barefoots, and now the chance is ripe, now the bounty is at hand ; now it all comes to head, Hussein bin Ali has been killed, now his sympathizers and kin are angry and regretful, even people who were fooled by the Arabs are quickly realizing their gross mistake, everyone is intent on attaining freedom again, and we, of all nations, plan to strike back, the idea of revolution is quickly finding ground all over your lovely terrains, the Arab domain is collapsing, their dynasty is rife with turbulence, and Abu Muslim al-Khurasani is now rallying your dedicated citizens for the great cause, we shall fight them everywhere, and we shall never surrender, and soon Persia would be alive again, its language, its culture, its greatness, are all immortal and will never be gone ; it may be different, but one way or another, Persia will live on.

Your Son,

عمر بشكست پشته هجبران عجم را برباد فنا داد رگ وريش جم را
اين عربده وخصم خلافة زعلي نسيت با آل عمر كينه قديم أست عجم را
ميت و المعزيات موش امهاته
ما يبجن على المات يبجن شماته

Monday, February 04, 2008

70 year Old Iraqi Cheerleader (Gulf Cup 2007)

There are only two things in this life that makes me proud of being an Iraqi, one of them is the national football team. The above is a classic moment that every Iraqi should see, it is on par with Othman al-Obaidi.
Another thing which made me cry is the reaction of this beautiful Iraqi woman after we lost to Saudi Arabia in the Gulf Cup, when you look at this, you realize how beautiful was the win in the Asian Cup.

I love Iraq.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

al-Qaeda's recent attack using two mentally disabled women isn't something new. They have used dogs, donkeys, bicycles, and a mentally disabled child before.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Konfused Kid Makes A Fatwa

فقد روى الصدوق عن علي بن أسباط قال: "قلت للرضا -عليه السلام-: يحدث الأمر لا أجد بداً من معرفته، وليس في البلد الذي أنا فيه من أستفتيه من مواليك؟ قال: فقال: ائت فقيه البلد فاستفته في أمرك، فإذا أفتاك بشيء فخذ بخلافه فإن الحق فيه" (عيون أخبار الرضا 1/275 ط. طهران

The above is a narration taken from a book called Ouyon Akhbar al-Ridha, translation is:

al-Sudooq narrated on the authority of Ali bin Isbaat: "I asked al-Ridha (8th Shia Imam): Should something arises and I am clueless as to how to act, and there is no one in the country that I reside of your [Shia] folowers? And he replied: Go to the [Sunni] cleric of your country and tell him of your problem, should he answer you something, then do its opposite, for that is the correct thing to do."

In the same rather mischievous spirit, I declare the following fatwa:

Mozilla bin Firefox narrated, on the authority of that Konfused Kid (Peace be upon Him, Blessed be his soul, his sole, and the shit that comes out of his asshole)

If, in the Iraqi Blogosphere, you write something, and these guys agree with you, immediately reconsider what you have written with deep suspicion, for that is the correct thing to do.

Allahum Ini Ballaghat, Allahuma Fa-Ashhad.