Friday, March 24, 2006

The Day I Tried To Go Home...

Thursday, March 23 2006

We are on the outskirts of Adhamiya, THE Sunni territory in Baghdad, largely Shiite National Guard have installed deployments on its outskirts, a convoy of three police cars, filled with members of the notorious Interior ministry forces, arrive and is stopped by the National Guard].

INTERIOR POLICE CAPT : I demand to enter the area
NATIONAL GUARD : You do not have jurisdiction here.
INTERIOR POLICE CAPT: You do not tell me what I have and do not have, we have business to do and we will do it whether you like it or not.
NATIONAL GUARD CAPT: We have an agreement with these guys, we do not enter and they do not hit us, You will not enter.
INTERIOR POLICE CAPT. : Them? We shall enter the place and kill them to the last Jihadist, Fuck them, and their mothers and daughters, we will go in there and tear up their asses, and rape down their mothers and sisters in every house.

[INTERIOR POLICE CAPT. shoots three bullets near NATIONAL GUARD CAPT's feet]

NATIONAL GUARD CAPT. : You did this...okay, then please step right ahead, but I should warn you, they are monsters.

[INTERIOR CAPT. rides up his car and the three vehicles progress onward, NATIONAL GUARD CAPT. waits for a bit and then goes to MUJHADEEN, telling them of what happened]

MUJAHEDIEEN : Take your troops and leave the area.

a Kia filled with sleep-deprived college students is lazily trotting in a quarter of Adhamiya notorious for its high insurgency factor, in the Kia, KONFUSED KID sits near the driver's seat, pretending to read for yet another exam, a pose he's been doing these whole two weeks, the narrow steets are filled with masked men holding checkpoints]

KONFUSED KID : Something's not right.
KIA DRIVER, a young dude the same age as KONFUSED: Them are just leftovers from yesterday's nightwatch.
KONFUSED KID: True, but why are they all masked?
KIA DRIVER (ponders) : Yesterday 13 returning visitors from Karabala were killed in Amriya....probably it connects....
On the way to college, the Kia drives by, TANTAL, a guy in the same department as Kid's, but has a different ride - the two exchange waves.
SCENE : College, 2pm apx.
(TANTAL's phone rings, it's his mother)

TANTAL's MOM : Hello Sweety Tantal, listen, do not, at ALL costs, attempt to return back home today, it's very dangerous right now and bullets are flying everwhichways, explosions are on a minute basis, please, please, return to your aunt's house in Palestine Street. is that okay?TANTAL : Okay.
nearby, KID is met by two people in his line : a guy, JIDIDA and a girl, JUBBA.
JIDIDA : Hey Kid, line's not coming, says he's got car trouble or something...KID : Oh...(looks at JUBBA, who confirms), I guess we'd all have to take a taxi then...
the three pick up their stuff and head back home to Adhamiya.while on taxi, JUBBA's mom calls - tells her daughter not to come back to Adhamiya cuz it's a slaughterhouse right now, the girl has no place to go and tells the mother she's with two guys from her line, Mother grudgingly accepts the fact but tells JUBBA to be careful, and to most importantly stay out of the main roads. JIDIDA makes phone calls for most of the trip, KID - always broke and never caring, is unpetrubed - he sits near the driver and hums to the radio.

SCENE :The roads today were conspicously straightforward, we now are overlooking THE BRIDGE leading to Adhamiya, police forces have completely blocked out the entrance and prevented even people from going across.The other side of the bridge looks promising - smoke rising from several different places, gunshots, minor explosions here and there...

KID : Sounds like Fun day.
The three step out of the taxi.
JIDIDA (to passerby) : Hey, how can we get in there? is Kadhum route open?
PASSERBY : Closed, so is Kassra's, everything is blocked out nowadays.
JIDIDA makes several phone calls at once, JUBBA is infected by his workmanship and does so too.
JIDIDA is flustered, he sits on the pavement.
KID takes a picture of JIDIDA, shows it to JUBBA.
Although JIDIDA seems to lead the scene right now with his businessman like-nervousness and phone calls and KID has kept to himself most of the day,
JUBBA always dicusses things with KID. KID wonders why...

KID : you have no place else to stay?
JUBBA : no. My uncle's in Jihad Quarter, and things are worse there.
KID : Then I guess we'd have to walk you home
JUBBA : You don't really have to
KID : What can we do anyway, all roads are blocked.

After a while, people are finally allowed to cross the bridge at their own risk, the three decide to take their chances, JUBBA's house is at the district just left of the bridge, once the boys get to drop JUBBA home they can be move more they move near the guards, JIDIDA asks :

JIDIDA : Can we get through?
GUARD is apparently slightly annoyed : Sure, at your own risk.
ANOTHER GUARD, more hippety-hop : Where you wanna go?
JIDIDA : Sifeena(Both guards exchange mocking looks)
ANOTHER GUARD : You'd need a boat, my friend.
KID : What's going on, anyway?
ANOTHER GUARD (with a smile) : Our guys versus yours, you know

The guards were friendly enough, as the three are halfway the bridge, the rucus, which have been quiet for a while, suddenly cracks big to life again - in Technicolor, multiple shots are fired and car sirens bellow somewhere close to where they are heading right now...the three make jokes about death, the atmosphere is tense joking, especially for JIDIDA, who's about to they close on the area, the place is absoultely devoid of any human being at first - a ghost town, an ambulance car whizzes by quickly amidst the backdrop of gunshots. At any minute, a car full of gunmen could pass by and shoot the three stone cold.The street is lined up with shells.
JUBBA : As soon as we near the area, we can go into my friend's house, hers is the first in the sidestreet.
JIDIDA : What are we ever going to do? My father says on the phone the biggest problem is between Sifeena and our houses.
JUBBA : We can stay there until things quiet down, or even our house.JIDIDA is uncomfortable with the idea of hassling girls ; KID senses this and reminds him
KID : Hey dude, you forgot that we got friends here? both JESUS and MAHDI have houses here.
JIDIDA is relieved, JUBBA is a little disappointed.
Once the three enter the actual sidestreets of the area, signs of life begin to show up in volumes, all the usual kids are out on the street, some of them obliviously out of sync exchanging porn pictures on Bluetooth. they decide on continuting the trip to JUBBA's house, a little deeper inside the area.
The three are met with glances, JUBBA is a girl of the area and the two strangers with her merit some explanation.
JUBBA finally gets home, she invites them for a sip of water as a thank-you, KID wanted to give in but he was interrupted by JIDIDA's nervous no-thank-you before he could open mouth.
the two go to JESUS's house, a guy with them in the Kia but didn't go to college that day. JESUS is not christian, they just like to call him that

The street of JESUS is filled with masked men holding AK-47s.
a man talks to one of the masked men
MAN : Yo Mohammed, take off the masks, Americans are patrolling Jirdaagh street...
MASKED MAN doesn't answer, three other masked men arrive, a car finally picks them up all and heads off somewhereJIDIDA almost pisses his pants at the sight.
JIDIDA : Who are these guys?
KID : Probably Mujahideen of the area
JIDIDA : Goddamn.
The two ring up JESUS's house, after 10 tense minutes, JESUS appears, apparently just awoken up.
SCENE :Jesus's House, Hour later.
Food is on the table, Jesus does the role of hospitable host very well, urging the two to stay the night here until things quiet down. JIDIDA is strongly opposing the idea, talking about what if Americans patrol the area at night and takes us as detainees and what of these crazy-ass Mujahedeen out there? He continues making phone calls throughout, KID also calls his grandmother, TA'IFFIYA, who tells him to stay put.KID is still unconcerned, JESUS is almost dying of insistence to make the two stay, and JIDIDA is dying to get home.
KID : So what if we got searched, plus, you are Shiite, we are the Sunni folk, we gotta be afraid, not you, What if we can't go home, man? Plus, I think you wanna go home because of the rumorsJIDIDA : about waht?KID : About Jesus's sexualityJESUS looks at JIDIDA sidelong glance, the three burst out laughing.
KID and JESUS try to strip JIDIDA while he is talking to his pop on the phone.
in the end, JIDIDA's brother rendez-vous with JIDIDA at the tip of the bridge, just where the taxi guy dropped them, as the two walk out, much to the opposition of JESUS and his pop, BIG JESUS.
Both men are very tired and worn out, hair in disarray, looking like shit and smelling like piss.
a taxi man comes out of nowhere, and asks them : Why is the road closed?The two look at each other, nobody bothers to answer.
JIDIDA's brother awaits them in a 4x4 as promised.
Finally, KID is dropped off at his house at 5:30 PM.

And so here I am, back home after one of the most troublesome days I've yet met - made more intense by JIDIDA's incessant fears and nagging.Today I was utterly and truly convinced of the helplessness of the political game, I lost faith again in keeping interest, true, I love my coutnry and I wish the best for it, and I may have been more optimistic in the past - much to the admiration of those stupid clueless Americans who just want someone to assert their legality of the war - FUCK THE EXCUSE, the country is falling apart, people, it takes strong strong wills to have more faith in this country, look everywhere on the blogosphere, hope is quickly dying...I just wanna swear my ass off at this horrible mess we've deteroriated into, it is now impossible, I tell you, impossible not to think of sectarian terms, as people are being divided into Sunni and Shiite territories, things do not look very promising. Six months earlier, I didn't even know what the word 'sectarian' meant in English, after a death of a close family friend by Badr, I became aware of the danger, but I shrugged it off as something that cannot ferment a long-standing unity, but today, it is amazing how little evil work can change a belief so quickly - these days, every person I meet, there's a little voice inside me that wants to know if he's Sunni or Shiite, I've become hatefully familiar with all the discrmiminations between Sunni and Shiite and how to tell who's who (names, areas, clothings, rings, vocal intonations)...All out Brother-against-brother Civil War? why the hell not....
The only place I feel free of these constraints is in college, most of my friends there are Shiite from southern governorates, and some of them are actually UIA-affiliated, they are also the nicest people - we spend our days talking girls and laughing head-over-heels, but when you get back to your repsective Sunni/Shiite territory, things are a lot different.
Well well, what to do, I guess I'll turn up Metallica's 'Mercyful Fate' and revel in swearing it all away as a last resort of an insecure teenage dude who's weak with words..
[hip-hop backup beat]
F**k You
F**k Me
F**k Sunni
F**k Shiite
F**k Iraq
F**k USA
F**k Allys
Stupid Mothafa'in' Politicans

oh, btw, if anyone cares to know, I no longer am troubled by Allys, she took a hike with her rich ugly-as-mutt ex-boyfriend again, I still love her, but now seeds of a mercyful hate have finally arisen - I think I'll get past this soon enough.

"What's so civil about war anyway?" - Axl Rose


An Italian. said...

Excellent and most informative post, Kid.

I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in.

Scott from Oregon said...

Hold on to your seat Kid, and keep your ears waxed....

daniel said...

dude, that was a bad-ass post. i was just glued to it. you're a brazen muthafucka of a writer.

cile said...

heya kiddo, tensely written piece, good for a tense reading. brings it all close onto the proper skin, even being far away.

it's a good thing that you see the changes in your own approaches i think. but it doesn't make it better, oh no.
as you wrote: "look everywhere on the blogosphere, hope is quickly dying..." /../
yes, i noticed that too.
so i have to say to you that i am very glad you are still writing, and you're still able to take an objective view, even while noticing that bastard little voice over 'sectarianisms'.

take care kid, and stay well, with your friendly jesus's and mahdi's around.

Morbid Smile said...

Hello Kid, sorry I'm late again!! I guess I have problems with early commenting!

First, Attawie told me that you had some chat last night. I'm glad that you are doing well. It's good that you got over that "Allys".. We all agreed here that you surely deserve a way better one ;)

Second thing, 7amdillah 3la alsalama! That was an aweful day for sure. My aunt lives near the corniche, she said things were hell. I heard all the gunshots and stuff on the phone..

Well, I lost the sense of hope so long time ago!! And I've seen that on the blogsphere as well.

Take care, bro. :)

Lynnette in Minnesota said...

"All out Brother-against-brother Civil War?"

We've been there, done that. It ain't no picnic.

You know what they say, Kid, when you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

P.S. Sorry about Allys, but you never know what fate has in store.

aNarki-13 said...

beautiful post.. wish me luck to find time to write one of my own now..

howre ur exams? did u do well? hows ur project coming on?

take care now..

attawie said...

Great post.. and as M.Smile said 7amdillah 3la alsalama..

I just want to say something important. My post and my point of view always had been hopeless.. you were always there to say hang on sis.. Today you seem to understand why we used to feel hopeless and we did call what was going on "a civil war on the way"..

My point is "we are the future.. you, me, anarki, M.Smile... we are Iraq's future.. if we like each other and we still brothers then no need to worry.. what's going on now will surely be history.

Take care

olivebranch said...

goood comment by morbido.

She is right.

You attawie, anarki, haneen, zeyad, baghdad treasure, 24steps, mama, sunshine, najma, hnk, shutiff - all of you are the future of Iraq.

And as long as I live there will be people out there to support you.


Jon said...

Hey Kid, I LOVE your writing! I normally read with the eye and senses of an editor or a proofreader or an English teacher (even though I've never been any of those professionally). But reading you is like being carried along on a rushing stream. Might crash into a rock or get caught up on a branch, but who cares. Let the water carry you along! (I think that's a line from Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young.)
Whether you're talking about the disappointments of young love or a harrowing journey to get home from school, musing about music, or giving in briefly, but only briefly, to despair about Iraq's current state, you're letting us in on it.

This might also be a love letter but that would be ridiculous to the max. I'm old enough to be your grandfather, and you're obviously totally into the chicas and I've had my own one-and-only for almost 33 years (plus he'd be jealous if he knew I'm writing what I am right now, and THAT would be ridiculous too!).

And please don't give in to the despair of others. You were flaming mad a while back, but you've explained why and that, I think, we can all understand. And maybe if you and others can hang on to hope for a while longer, and fight back, each in your own way, something better may come along. Emily Dickinson, an American poet, had this to say: '"Hope" is the thing with feathers-- That perches in the soul-- And sings the tune without the words-- And never stops--at all--'

I also wanted to suggest some music for you to try, since you seem to love it generally but have some very specific likes. You said you usually hate Arabic music (except the one song by Shereen), but have you ever heard Um Kulthum? I first did 42 years ago, but when I went to the store today I was playing her CD in the car. My favorite is Al-Atlaal, and second is Inta 3omri (I think you've been using a 3 for 'ain). Although you might not have the patience to listen to one song that lasts an hour, give it a try for once if you haven't before. Another possibility, although I've never heard it, is Rub3aiyat Khayyam. Somebody quoted a line or two from his poetry in a "rave" not too long ago. (btw, I think "rave" is a fine name for others' comments. Three different meanings at least. They may be giving you a rave notice, a thumbs up, a shoutout, like this. Or they may be having a party. The third you're bound to get but I hope not often, i.e., ranting and raving at you or about some political or religious question. Don't let that kind bother you.
Two other Arabic singers I like especially are Fairouz (A3tani an-Nai wa Ghanni is a favorite of mine. May be too sweet for you, but sometimes a hunk of baqlawa tastes just right.) and Cheb Mami, the Algerian rai singer.
As for Western music, your taste for heavy metal headbanger stuff puzzles me, but who am I to complain. A chacun selon son gout. I have likings here and there all over the map. In rock, I especially like extended guitar solos, e.g., Golden Earring - "When the Bullet Hits the Bone", Dire Straits - "Brothers-in-Arms", and Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".
Anyway, keep hoping, listening, and blogging, and stay safe.

Konfused Kid said...

Dear Jon,

thanks a lot for your comment, I read it a while back but I haven't had the chance to reply. It's always nice to hear from new fans, and u certainly look like some sort of character...
i gota lotsa qs, are u arab? i wonder what it's like to be a homo, cuz i never really met one and i got tons of questions to ask (no subliminal stuff included)

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Dear Kid,

Just read your latest blog post. Sounds kind of bittersweet, but under the circumstances these days, it's understandable.

Not Arab in ancestry, but a little bit (maybe sometimes a lot) at heart. I spent two years (1965-7) in graduate school at AUB in Beirut. Two years earlier, in my senior year of college in Miami, I had a roommate from Kuwait (Iraqi mother) and fell in love. It wasn't to be since he wasn't gay, but after I graduated I moved to California, where he had transferred, to be near him and try to figure it all out (never told him how I felt, but I think it probably became obvious). I worked in the post office almost a year and saved money for graduate school and ended up at AUB since they were the first to accept me.

I just made it onto the last evacuation plane out of Beirut during the 1967 war. The school was closed for a while, I hadn't quite finished the work for my degree (in Arab Studies), and after I got back in the U.S.A. my draft board wouldn't give me permission to go back to Beirut. So I ended up in the U.S. Army for almost 4 years, including a year studying Farsi, but still ended up in Vietnam. No fighting for me, fortunately. A couple of years after I got out I met my one and only (from Thailand) and we've been together since 1973. Not always easy, but hey, almost 33 years. In this country, that's almost 5 times as long as the 40 to 50 percent of marriages that end in divorce. And one funny thing about it all is that maybe one of the big things that has kept us together is food! He fixes Thai food (and I can do some too) and I sometimes make Arab or Japanese dishes.

Anyway, I better get off now since my line seems to be getting suddenly disconnected a lot recently. It already did it once and I'm not sure this comment will even make it. Stay safe and well. Oh, btw, ask away. If they're too impertinent I'll just ignore!

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