Mookie Did It For The Nookie

Muqtada al-Sadr, outside
his Dentist clinic in Qum, reacts after being asked to
comment on the Battle of Basra, .

Muqtada al-Sadr is a very strange phenomenon. He is the sort of anti-hero that appears in cheesy comedy films starring Rob Schneider about the dork zero who suddenly finds himself in a situation he has absolutely nothing to do with, US News media constantly describe Muqtada in notoriously glorious terms, which sound absolutely hilarious to the Iraqi reader, look, I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that, when Muqtada speaks, the effect he exudes is something closely similar to this skit.



I swear to you I'm not exaggerating or nothing, this is how Muqtada talks to people, can you imagine what a shame it is for Iraq, a country that was the center of the world twice to have this guy to rule it?
This fallacy led many people to strongly suspect Muqtada's power, one of them is IraqPundit, who has dedicated many a post on his blog to try and debunk the propaganda campaign by Mookie's PR Firm, the Western media.
Or is he really that powerful?
Muqtada has proven to us time and again that he does control his army, and there are strong indications that Qadoo is the man with the plan, and no matter how childish he is, I think Muqtada will always be accepted as a more nationalist Iraqi than anything the shifty-eyed Badrists ever care to put out there. I mean, who would you prefer? the crazy fool or the creepy medusa? while a great margin of Shi'i folks openly deride Mooks, the Sunnis in general prefer him waaaay much more than the royal dynasty of the Hakims, my grandmother Ta'iffiya, a rather sectarian individual, commented on his interview last Friday by saying: "The poor sod, he cannot form a single comprehensible sentence. What a shame." So how could it be that such a man could possibly attain such magnificent glory? should we all mourn Iraq, and the Arabic language too openly now?

It seems to me that someone who shares the part of the blame for Muqtada's rise is none other than his formidable enemy : Saddam Hussein.

I have been dumbfounded to read that there used to be a saying in the 20th century which goes: "Cairo Writes, Lebanon Publishes, and Baghdad reads." Baghdad reads?! Really?! Excuse me, but the general sentiment regarding anyone holding a book was as this brilliant caricature by the late Iraqi cartoonist Mu'ayed Ni'ma:

Iraq's intellect and general education levels plummeted severely, starting from the 1980s onwards as Saddam engaged in a feverish battle to extend his domain first, before settling towards doing all that it takes just to keep survive, turning the people in the end into the mass of ruffians that is following Muqtada and his likes today.
the theory goes that Muqtada is Saddam's Bastard Lovechild. Meaning, he is the indirect result of several Saddam Hussein policies: the destruction of the communist party [and every other party by the way], the execution of many Iraqi intellectuals and scientists, which led to a frenzied tyrannical atmosphere that which eventually led to the dumbing down of the intellect of Iraq's population, especially when they were facing severe economic realities, and, as Yitzhaq al-Naqash closes the Iraq chapter in Shia in the Arab World Book: "Saddam Hussein's revival of tribal values and institutions - a policy that started in the 1980s and accelerated following the Gulf War was a strategy for survival and an attempt to use tribalism as a common denomintaor between Sunnis and Shi'is, like the British in 1921, Saddam bolstered the position of tribal sheikh he considered loyal, trying to turn them into a medium by which the countryside could be administered, this conicided with the Baathist attempt to regulate religion, the Ba'ath tolerated the activities of Mohammed Sadiq al-Sadr [Sadr II] as a way to absorb the religious energy of Shi'is and direct it away from the regime. At the same time, it allowed the organization of Sunni Islamist groups, including the Muslim Brothers and Salafis with Wahhabi inclinations, seeking to use them to counterbalance the Shi'is. [...] The Ba'ath regime thus set the stage for the emergence of tribalism and Islam as potent forces following the US invasion."

Here is a fictional profile of a common Sadrist, examining his motivations from an economic viewpoint[written by Ali al-Kalawi]:

As'ad is a common young man, lost, searching for a better tomorrow, forgotten by the government, while the government might (and I stress the importance of doubt cast by the word 'might') be interested in diploma graduates, giving them an opportunity to be employed, men like As'ad who have no diploma stare at the uncertain future. Amidst his search for salvation, As'ad suddenly finds himself spending a long time in the mosques, attending mourning ceremonies and flagellating his chest strongly in order to release his pain and suffering, in the old days, people like As'ad were embraced by the bars, they would roam the streets drunken at night, only to wake up in the morning to search for some money in order to rinse it again in the bars, As'ad never missed a mourning, I mean, at least food and drinks are served in the end.
He adapted to the realities of his area, and eventually he heard of a job opening as a night guard, the only thing he needs to do is pledge allegiance to the Custodian who granted him this opportunity while the state snores somewhere oblivious to the suffering of its citizens, busy in money laundering and wasting funds in imaginary projects we only hear of but not see. Finally, some money into As'ad's empy pockets, and all he has to do is to obey the only person who provided him with a job while others shunned him, and why doesn't he do that, for isn't he the onewho gave him what he has been searching for...money for an honest living?
He would listen to what his custodian would say, and he would repeat what he said, and when words fail him because of his crude education and intellect he would resort to hands to silence those who oppose his custodian, forcing them into submission even if that submission was only superficial, it is not a big wonder as to why the custodian is popular in certain areas alone...those poor slums with no services whatsoever and where the state is only represented by an isolated police center surrounded by high cement walls. State officials are ghosts dancing on a television set, like actors in an unreal drama, and as they blather on about nonexistent contracts, fake projects and false promises the authorities of the custodian pace the streets, occasionally taking heed to services and working to provide them...it doesn't require much thinking to know where your allegiance must lie. Even if the Sayyid's men are doing it only for the money or whatever life goal they seek to pursue shrouded in religion.
and then things broke down between the government and the custodian of les miserables, and wouldn't you know it....As'ad marched out in the streets with a heavy stick, inciting disobedience and advocating martyrdom, what is life if his custodian leaves him? death to his ilk is a blessing, so he forced shops to close doors, he dragged students and teachers from schools...in a day or two, the stick in As'ad's hand became a rifle, a rifle aimed at the paramilitary commandos headquarters in his region, soon they managed to strip the commandos from their weapons and they expelled them, and so the area became void of any state apparatus, the coalition attacked with the paramilitary commandos, clashes broke out in a sporadic fashion, a few innocent lives were claimed, while the real dissidents mingled between the people, As'ad lay dead, as a rocket shot by a US fighter tore him to bits, ending a miserable life that grew up in a repulsive tyranny and matured in the reign of corruption and ruffianry.
What does As'ad and his likes represent to the government? Nothing, the government won't label them as Iraqis, only unpatriotic insurgents, did the government bother to ask why As'ad became an insurgent in the first place? As'ad wasn't buried because curfew was imposed in Baghdad, so he was put with the rest of the dead in a safe place to be buried later, the Sayyid appeared to announce his gesture, and his office commanded his followers to celebrate this occasion joyously, while the living jumped in joy in response to the Sayyid's call, As'ad was put on a car that headed to the cemetery of Najaf, forgotten like countless before him.