Thursday, October 16, 2008

Funny Fatwas: 2001: A Shirazi Oddyssey

Following a string of excellent Sunni hopefuls aimed at getting the Weirdest Fatwa award (One-Eye Niqabs, Mickey al-Fasiq), and in the interest of applying the very national-reconciliation suitable adage (mafessh 7add a7san min 7add) i find it appropriate to publish this:

Having given up on the human race, the Shia (3% of the world population) already set their sights on interstellar domination, this collection of (very serious) galactic fatwas include solutions to problems that involve divorce from a woman on the moon, whether aliens are also obligated to conform the vilayet of Holy Imams, and issues regarding premature space puberty. It seems that Ayatollah al-Shirazi was either a joker who liked to fart around every now and then or a hardcore Star Wars nerd. The link is in Arabic, but here's a flavor:

PROBLEM: Sin in outer space.
Sinning in space is just like sinning in every other place, even though devils cannot travel through space due to comets*, the mischievousness of the human spirit is still active, and there is no concrete proof that comets can repel all devils.

* a reference to a Quranic verse that explains comets by saying that comets are used to ward off devils who attempt to climb high in the sky and 'eavesdrop', seemingly on God. (why?)
in Islam, sin is not only attributed to the external scapegoat of Satan, there is also the concept of the Nafsul Ammara (Mischievious Spirit). Shirazi is just so fucking awesome to have thought of the painstaking intracacies of such a timely, impending problem!

It is quite sad that I am forced to put this in the category of 'jokes', and we can only bemoan the fact that Shirazi did not get to live to see THE PHANTOM MENACE, but I have a firm conviction that he would rule Jar-Jar Binks as a nasibi on the grounds that he's just too tasteless to like Ali bin Abi Talib.

UPDATE: I'm pretty sure al-Shirazi was just joking, i mean just look at the link's url, the fatwa is in a folder labelled (rflo) which is quite obviously (rofl). go Shirazi (rip), lol. you is teh funny.


touta said...

i don't know where to reply to comments, so here's good enough for me. :)
In response to r u crazy..well aren't all iraqis? ;D
I did have the option of staying here with my 14 yr old sis, but I miss everyone too much!
And yes, fog el nakhal is a great song, I have tried playing it on my flute, but it doesnt sound as good as when on the oud.

touta said...

oh, and the khuttar song-a masterpiece. :)

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