Friday, October 31, 2008

How I Lost Faith In Allah : Christians, Sorry for bombing your infidel asses lol


There is a long draft post in my blog archive called simply 'God', whenever I had some ideas about the subject I'd go and scribble a bit there, it has been there probably since the very beginning, today I decided to go and have a look at it, it is kinda funny and makes no sense, starting with yours truly cluelessly defending the wonderful spiritual fulfillment of God, and then slowly descending into a black rage against all that is holy.
*****
I'm sure that by now that you all know the long and short of exodus of Iraqi Christians, so I'll skip the details, what I am going to focus upon is how religion (and not political religion) is the first enemy of Iraq, and I will draw an example straight from the Iraqi blogosphere: during the massacre, the typically nice Marshmallow26 publishes an honest, hateful, agonized post, it is worth noting several important things about this post, which help us understand the view of many a mainstream Christian:

1. Marshmallow's post is a condemnation of all Muslims. Although she calmed down afterward and started saying that she only wants the cute pokemon-y peaceful Muslims to condemn the zombie Muslims, Marshmallow26 has previously complained about mainstream Muslim harassment of the Christians in Mosul, and one time, when I teased her by impersonating an angry anti-Christian fundie, she didn't get the joke and actually thought I was being serious. All this seems to suggest that deep in her mind, the problem is not new, and can be logically connected to the attitude of the Muslim population at large. This untrusting view is something I have mostly noticed in Christians who are not from Baghdad, in my opinion, the only satisifying explanation to this is demographics: Baghdad's Muslims are not anymore tolerant, but Mosul's Christians are more visible and louder, which would incur the displeasure of Muslims more easily. The configuration of religious hostility in the world is largely determined by the size of religious communities and their visible manifestation in any given religion (in Baghdad, although Christians were threatened and pushed out of their homes, their plight took a backseat to the larger Sunni-Shia war). When some Jihadwatch regulars posted extremely anti-Muslim commentary, Marhsmallow did not engage them in any debate whatsoever, which seems to suggest to me that she is in agreement with at least some of their points.
2. A very strong sense of hostile religious identity. When you get to the bottom of it, Muslims are our enemies. But Marhsmallow has to love her enemies because Jesus tells her so. Then she says that she'd die for Jesus and would not give in to the 'corruptors'.
3. Repeated stressing of the claim to the registered trademark 'Original Iraqi' label applied to Christians, as opposed to the Muslims, who are implicitly accused of being 'occupiers' and 'corruptors'. Ho ho, join the Saffavid-Seljuki origin debate, too bad you're only 3%, no muscle, and as I said, it's all about how much you number.
****
In the comments section, we get to witness the usual apology circus by Muslims,something like 'oh, you got it all wrong, Islam has nothing to do with all this, we're peaceful lol', when A&EIraqi smartly tries to show the error in Marhsmallow's emotional generalization of Muslims with his own generalization of the US Army as a Christian army, Marshmallow misses this point and suddenly adopts a rational mode of thinking.
This illogical adherence to one's specific religion is one of the reasons why I stopped believing in the beauty of God. When my three friends were killed, we had a prayer for them at the university mosques, and then we took their mock coffins and put them side by side at the entrance of the hall, each coffin had a small photo of the person who is supposed to be in it, and I took a long look at the faces, shifting my eyes from one to the other, I could detect no difference whatosever between any one of them, all were very pleasant, polite early-20s Iraqi guys who had been raised each according to his family's religion, yet according to all the three religions these people subscribed to (Sunni, Shia, Christian), only one of them will go to heaven, based of course on what religion will turn out to be the one God really favors. I did not realize it then, but that was the moment when I first started suspecting the idiocy of religion, those people had no hand in choosing their religion, they simply inherited it from their fathers, and they would have a hard time accepting any other faith than theirs, because all religions carry errors and mistakes that cannot be overruled by logic without any significant suspension of disbelief, and what sort of fair justice would be to send two of them to your hell just because they didn't get lucky to follow your chosen creed? and even if they got your moody 'makrama' and got all to heaven because you didn't leave them room to think it through and killed them before they even had the chance to even see a little bit further than their B.Sc. certificate, what about the untold millions of people who simply inherit the religion of their fathers? the Buddhists, the Hindus, the Taoists? Why would they go to hell? Because they didn't think? and what is the chance, once we start to get in logical intra-faith discussions, how many people do you sincerely expect to be convert from their father's faith? very few, people of religion are programmed to tweak every argument in favor of their own religion, they would simply stand against all common sense when criticizing their own religion, but proceed to become philosophers on the spot when it comes to bashing the shit out of the other religions, for really, why would you expect Christians to see the stupidity in beliving that in order to save man, God decided the only way is to enter a woman's vagina and have a son, or for Muslims to be actually convinced that it's somewhat ok for their prophet to have 13 mostly cute chicks (including a preschooler) when Islam only allows four or that their religion spread by conquest, or for Shia to see that the continous abandonment of their Imams by God at times of trouble is something that is in direct contradiction of the supposed relationship between God and his apostles in the Quran, whereby God directly intervenes to prevent the almost imminent death of Jesus. They will simply find workarounds in their books, they would confuse you with highly useless mumbo-jumbo الأحوط وجوبا etc in order to sound knowledgabe, and they would eventually sastify themselves with their answers, in reality, the more you begin to examine religion, and how you would easily find that no system is really perfect, the more angry and confused you become at the major scam God (if any) is pulling on us here. To quote Phillip K Dick on the way religion tries to be grand when it solves absolutely nothing:

"I've been researching solemn theological matters for five years now, much of the Wisdom of the World has passed from the printed page and into my brain, there to be processed and secreted out in the form of more words: words in, words out, and a brain in the middle wearily trying to determine the meaning of it all. The other night I started an article on Indian Philosophy in the Encyclopedia of Philosophy, the time was 4 AM ; I was exhausted, and there, at the heart of this solemn article, was this: "The Buddhist idealists used various arguments to show that perceptions does not yield knowledge of external objects distinct from the percipient...The external world supposedly consists of a number of different objects, but they can be known as different only because there are different sorts of experiences 'of' them. Yet if the experiences are thus distinguishble, there is no need to hold the superfluous hypothesis of external objects..."
That night I went to bed laughing, I laughed for an hour, I am still laughing, Push philosophy and religion to their ultimate and what do you wind up with? Nothing. Nothing exists. As I said earlier, there is only one way out: seeing it all as ultimately funny."

This would be all fine and dandy if it was pigeonholed in some unimportant category in the life of the general population, but it's effectively killing Iraq, the idea of Iraq as a nation-state where citizens are equal, because religion, all religion, is preferential of a certain group of others, and when you strongly advocate those identities, the others would certainly feel more attached ot theirs, and this is why Iraq, as a nation-state was always ruled by a dictator, those people will never find a way to really accept each other, because the problem is directly in their religion. Religion divides us and makes us hate each other, they all pretend it's all good when they're on public, and this is something that has puzzled me all the time when I see any public gathering, if everybody is so good and caring for Iraq, then who the fuck is doing all this unprecedented killing? Who? it doesn't take a lot to figure out who, just let them go back to their privacy and see them exposed as they really are.
So these Christians, Sunnis, Shia, would fight between themselves all the time, each strongly faithful to their own religion, for why is Marhsmallow's dedication to the martyrdom of Jesus Christ any less brainwashed than any of our own typical Jihadi sympathies? In one way or another, they will keep quarreling between each other, no one will really prevail except through suppression, or separation, and so dies our country, Iraq, irredeemably. Like Phillip K Dick, Seeing it all as funny is indeed the only way out, and this is why I'm going to book a front-seat with some popcorn with extra butter and laugh out as hard as I can at the Death of Iraq, from now on, fuck hope, I'm going to adopt Benjamin, the sarcastic donkey in Animal Farm, as my role model.

Al Pacino is an angry, charming bastard in most of his films, but look at his interview with the Actors Studio and what you'll see is a humble, pathetic nice man. I'm like that. if you meet me in real life, you might find me as a nice and pleasant man, and I don't want to be like Pacino, this is why this blog is called 'Catharsis', because I still don't really know how to become an angry asshole in reality. But, hey, I'm trying, because I can no longer contain this bubbling anger any longer, I cannot wait for the moment when I can live somewhere where I can say, freely and openly, how much I hate Him for being so distant, so unclear, so unrealistic, so dismissing of our intelligence.

P.S. As an example of Baghdadi Christianity, my Christian friend from Baghdad is pretty sure the Kurds did it, to carry the 'plot of the Jews', he solemnly advised me to read "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." Another example of how stupidity is spurred by all religions (to be fair, not just religion, but religion has the way of convincing you that other creeds are wrong, evil and bent on mischief ولن ترضى عنك اليهود و لا النصارى حتى تتبع ملتهم), my Catholic Assyrian Christian friend seemed pretty upset about the growth of Evangelicals in Iraq too, who seem to heavily supported by some 'sources'.
----------------
We laugh, but inept is our laughter,

We should weep, and weep sore,

Who are shattered like glass and thereafter

Remolded no more.

Abu al-Alaa al-Ma'ari





في اللاذقية ضجةٌ ما بين أحمد والمسيح
هذا بناقوس يدق وذا بمئـذنة يصيح
كل يعظّم ديـنه ياليت شعري ما الصحيح
دين وكفر وأنباء تقص وفرقان وتوراة وإنجيل
في كل جيل أباطيل ، يدان بها فهل تفرد يوما بالهدى جيل
ضحكنا و كان الضحك منا سفاهة و حق لسكان البرية ان يبكوا
يحطِّمنا ريب الزمان كأننا -- زجاج ولكن لا يُعاد لنا سَبْك
نَزول كما زال أجدادنا ويبقى الزمان على ما ترى (المعري)

Now playing: فريق الكندي - تقسيم قانون - لقد فتنتني إفرنجية - لا صبر لي

38 comments:

Marshmallow26 said...

Abbas,

The death of your friends shouldn't make you feel any weaker!! You should not have denied God! One day you will know what the truth is... it is a matter of time.

Abbas Hawazin said...

Marshmallow,

Have you actually read my post, or were you too scared to continue? I do believe there is some sort of intelligent creator, but I hate him. He (she? they?) is insulting our intelligence, he is unclear, and besides, what religion you are is largely based on geography, think about it, isn't it coinicidental that all the Abrahamic religions were born in the same area? If I were born in southern Iraq, that's all they depend on: force and geography, reason? none at all.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if you the nation stopped believing that iraq is dying/dead, they would perhaps let go of all this anger, and start rebuilding. And all I have to say, is 'insulting our intelligence'. What intelligence? Us iraqis talk incessantly about the problems of the society without lifting a finger to help. Me included.

gilgamesh X / exile - iraqi said...

@ Abbas

Out of topic but maybe interesting for you, because you are always interested in (Iraq's) history and religion.

Have you ever checked out the articles about "Gnostics" in wikipedia ? Have you ever checked out their world view?

Isn't it strange that people in Iraq thousands of years ago felt similar to you?

BTW, Kudos for your self-exploration!

Anonymous said...

People want things from other people. Religion, politics, Angelina Jolie... they are just pretext.

Jeffrey said...

Abbas,

This was a riveting blog entry to read. Although I was raised as a Roman Catholic and trained as an altar boy and learned the Mass in Latin, I never really connected to the idea of a supernatural Godhead. When I moved away from home, I simply stopped going to church. I never wrestled with the idea of faith as you have, but I can appreciate your struggle as you describe it here.

While today in the the US religious identity is still pretty strong, in Europe the churches are mostly empty on Sundays. Is that better? I don't know. Would it be better in the future for a country like Iraq if the mosques became just dusty buildings on Fridays, places for tourists to visit to check out the architecture? Maybe so. Europeans do not appear to be suffering because they don't attend Masses on Sunday.

*

Anand said...

Thanks for your comment Gilgamesh. I have long loved the Gnostics. They are similar to many eastern traditions. It is hard not to love the gnostics. ;-)

Jeffrey said...

By the way, the Japanese are not religious AT ALL and they're one of the most successful countries in the world. Asking them what religion they follow makes no sense to a Japanese. They live within a network of cultural values and customs that bind them together, and that's enough for them.

*

Abbas Hawazin said...

anonymous,

start rebuilding? that's the problem, we don't know how to start rebuilding!

Gilgamish,
The gnostics are interesting, but I could see a definite link between my rant and their beliefs, there's still a lot of medieval angels and devils hocus pocus there, unless you were talking about the concept of an imperfect deity, (also, they seem to have flourished mosty in Iran, Syria and Egypt, not Iraq)

Jeffrey,
Religion isn't as serious in US as it is here, and if does indeed looks set to be making a comeback, then that's a very bad thing indeed (as I've said before, those Evangelicals I saw on Jesus Camp had destructive potential)

Jeffrey said...

Abbas,

Hey, do people from your generation go to the mosque on Friday? I mean, what percentage? Church attendance is low in Europe, as I suggested above. In a supposedly Catholic country like France, only around 20% of the population attend Mass on Sundays. Of course, you can still believe in a Godhead and not attend mosque/church, but attendance figures do offer some measure of how tightly held those views are, I guess.

Do you think the defeat of Al Qaeda has made Islam any less attractive to young people in the Middle East? My feeling is that Osama is no longer the poster-boy that he once was. I could be wrong about that, of course.

And here's another point. Humans are, to my understanding, hard-wired for in-group/out-group identification and differentiation. If it wasn't a matter of religious affiliation, we would find different aspects of other groups to hate. Both the Japanese and the Chinese are basically non-religious groups, but that didn't stop the Japanese from committing the Nanjing massacre. They didn't need religion to hate. So maybe with Arabs, if it weren't religion, it would just be something else.

The problem with Islam and Christianity is that they are proselytizing religions with aspirations to convert THE REST OF THE WORLD to their faith. Screw that, I say.

*

Anonymous said...

Baghdad is big and it's controlled by shia. The Shia consider the sunnis as thier first enemies and therefore they don't care so much about the christians and others. So no real persecution happend for christians in Baghdad expect for Al-Dora which was controlled by sunnis. Christians in Al-Dora escaped to Baghdad Al-Jadida (New Baghdad) which was controlled by Mahdi Army (shia).

The sunnis of Mosul are fanatics. they are very sunni and they very arab (at least according to them). They are very sunnis so they The shia, Ther are very arab so they hate the Kurds and they are very Muslims so they hate the unmuslims (Chirtians and others). They share these features with the sunnis of Al-Adhamiya in Baghdad.

The kurds do not hate christians as long as christians don't emphasise the fact that they are Assyrians. the kurds wants to convert christians to "Kurdistan".

The islamic goverment of Iraq is islamic so they don't care so much about the unmuslims very much. And they are too idiots to maintain the colorfull spirit of Iraq.

Don Cox said...

Yes, it is a very good thing that few people in Europe now take religions seriously. It shows we are growing up at last.

The Thirty Years War shows how things were when everyone was a believer.

Marshmallow26 said...

Dear Abbas,

I have read it from A to Z and am not sacred of your lines but still have faith that you will get to know the truth one day :)

Have a good day

Anand said...

I agree with Marshmallow26 above. :-)

Lynnette In Minnesota said...

Abbas,

Great post.

I do believe there is some sort of intelligent creator, but I hate him. He (she? they?) is insulting our intelligence, he is unclear...

Interesting comment. How so?

Before you answer that, if you choose to, let me just say that I do not believe that the Bible, the Koran, or any other religious text are the actual words of God. I believe that man is the interpreter. It is man who chooses to cause these divisions (or not) between themselves.

Religion isn't as serious in US as it is here, and if does indeed looks set to be making a comeback, then that's a very bad thing indeed (as I've said before, those Evangelicals I saw on Jesus Camp had destructive potential)

Yes, scary and very weird people. But that is because that is how they choose to behave and believe. I have seen other Evangelicals interviewed on TV and they seen perfectly normal.

Seriously, Abbas, look at yourself. You were raised a Muslim, but here you are questioning everything about religion. You have obviously not taken the more extreme options within your own religion as the true word of God, sorry, Allah. And you shouldn't, just like those Evangelicals shouldn't. For whatever reason, be it fear or hatred, people tend to go overboard in their beliefs at times. And the fault lies with man, not God.

Al Pacino is an angry, charming bastard in most of his films, but look at his interview with the Actors Studio and what you'll see is a humble, pathetic nice man. I'm like that. if you meet me in real life, you might find me as a nice and pleasant man, and I don't want to be like Pacino, this is why this blog is called 'Catharsis', because I still don't really know how to become an angry asshole in reality.

Everyone needs a healthy outlet for their emotions. If the blog does it for you, all well and good. But, seriously, don't worry about being a nice and pleasant guy in real life. Nice and pleasant can be a lot easier to be around than angry and bitter. :) You know?

narjis said...

عباس،

البحث عن الحقيقة بشكل محايد و مجرد و بإخلاص هو أمر لا تقوم به إلا القلة التي لا تقنعهم الاجابات الجاهزة لهذا..مرحى لك.

لكن بالنسبة للإسلام هو ليس مجرد إجابة أو محاولة للإجابة على الأسئلة التي شغلت الانسان منذ الأزل عن أصل الوجود و منتهاه، هو ليس أخبارا غيبية فحسب و إنما هو حكايات على الأرض، تاريخ يحكي تفاعل الأوائل مع الحياة حولهم في ذلك الزمن الغابر، الاسلام منذ بدايته سياسي و اجتماعي و باسمه أعاد العرب تنظيم أنفسهم في أمة أعادت الهوية العربية الأصلية للمناطق التي كانت محتلة من الروم،

هذا الجانب من الاسلام هو الذي جعل الانتماء إليه أكثر تعقيداً من الأديان الأخرى، و أيضا هو الذي يجعل الانفكاك منه ليس بالأمر السهل.


--

أنت تستشهد بالمعري،أنا أسألك كيف عاشت كتاباته المتمردة لو كان هناك دائماً عدم تسامح مع الأفكار المخالفة.

المعري كمثال و أيضا خالد بن يزيد بن معاوية- الذي تنازل عن الخلافة لينكب على دراسة الكيمياء التي كان شغوفا بها و كان يحتفل مع اليهود و المسيحيين في أعيادهم الدينية-مسلمان فلماذا كانا أكثر تسامحا و نضجا من آخرين مسلمين أيضا؟؟
الاسلام معطى من المعطيات في هذه الحياة، لا يمكن بسهولة حسم الأمر تجاهه، و الأغلبية تحمله معها كإرث ورثته و مضطرة للحفاظ عليه لأنها بذلك تحافظ على جزء كبير من هويتها و لكن كيف يتعاطى الناس مع هذا المعطى و لواحقه هو الذي يشكل الفرق. .
هناك دائما طريقة ناضجة للتعامل مع أي معطى ورثناه من العصور السالفة أو معطى جديد و هي باحتوائه بدل أن يحتوينا، بالمحافظة على مسافة كافية بيننا و بينه تكفي للرؤية حتى لا نتماهى تماما معه و نصبح في أسره تماماً، أيا كان ذلك المعطى.

اذا نجحت في نسف الأديان و المذاهب تماما فإنك لن تكون حللت المشكلة أبداً، لأن العقل الذي لم يتعلم كيف يحافظ على المسافة الكافية التي تحميه من التماهي و تساعده على الرؤية، هذا العقل سرعان ما سوف يلتصق بعقيدة أخرى أو أفكار أخرى و ينفذها حرفيا بدون تفكير

Abbas Hawazin said...

عزيزتي نرجس
ان اختياري لشعر المعري كان انتقائيا, فليس كله هكذا, بل ان شعره لو اخذ بمجمله سيكون في اشد التناقض, وهذا ما حير الناس فيه و جعلهم يسلكون مذاهبا, فهو يستعمل التقية المكثفة بشدة حتى قيل عنه انه اسماعيلي قرمطي, واحيانا اخرى تجده مؤمنا بقوة, ويبدو ان الرجل قد تدرج حتى وصل الى مرحلة الإنكار هذه, و هو الذي يقول مثلا:

تعالى الله فهو بنا خبير -- قد اضطرت إلى الكذب العقول
نقول على المجاز وقد علمنا -- بأن الأمر ليس كما نقول
ويقول ايضا:
لا تقيِّد عليَّ لفظي فإني مثل غيري تكلُّمي بالمجاز
فالرجل يستعمل اللمحة كثيرا في جل حياته و خطابه و قليلا ما يكون واضحا بهذا الشكل الا بعد الغربلة
و قد ساعدني كتاب " الفكر الديني لدى أبي العلاء المعري" لعطا بكري في فهمه كثيرا و انا انصحك بقراءته

خالد بن يزيد, هل هو الذي ضرب القرآن بالنبل؟
ثم انك تتطرقين الى مسألة مختلفة تماما عن التي طرحت, كان ما كتبت منصبا بمجمله على العلاقة ما بين التوزيع الجغرافي للأديان و نشأة الفرد على العادات و التقاليد ظانا انه ينشأ على الحقيقة و المنطق, فانا لم اتطرق الى موضوع حرية الفكر في العصر الإسلامي أبدا
وهذا الأخير (مدى حرية الفكر في العصر الإسلامي) أمر صعب الإدراك دون بحث وتمحيص أيضا,ولكن الطرح الأكثر منطقية هو ان العامة في ذلك الزمان كالعامة الآن غاية العلم و العلماء عندها هي الطروحات الفيزيائية العبقرية التي يتفجر عنها عقل كعقل القرضاوي و السستاني و من شاكلهم, فهذا هو خصم الكلام و لب المسألة, علماء كابن تيمية و تلميذه الجوزي الذي حرم الكيمياء والفيزياء, اما هؤلاء العلماء الذين نفتخر بهم اليوم, فيبدو انهم كانوا يحتمون ببلاط الخليفة و السلطان , وهذا الأخير أيضا في نظر العامة مظهر من مظاهر الجور و التسلط فلربما عابوا عليه ذلك
و المتصفح لبعض ما كتبه أدباء ذلك الزمان يرى بشكل قوي التفريق بين ما "يجب ان يقوله المرء ما بين الخاصة و العامة فالأخيرة لا تحتمل كثيرا من القول"

aNarki-13 said...

now THIS IS AWESOME!

you sound like a mini Kerry King!

..

"I do believe there is some sort of intelligent creator, but I hate him. He (she? they?) is insulting our intelligence, he is unclear,"

classic example with a classic explanation: here you assume God wants to lead us, dude, we actually have freedom of choice. do what thy will, kill, maim, love, help, God doesn't give a flying fuck what people think or do, if he was leading us or programming us in some way, how would he/she/it/etc then justify Judgement Day? why judge a killer if he himself led the killer to kill?

dude, bottom line? in life, we're on our own. afterwards? hell if i know, but i'll make sure am dressed for the occasion :)

aNarki-13 said...

hmm.. more elaboration:

1. you like Al Pacino, look up his "God is laughing his ass off of us" speech in Devil's advocate.

2. good, your eyes are open now.
all ORGANIZED forms of religion (Muslims, Christians, Sunni, Shia, i cant possibly name them all) want only one thing: to control us through our beliefs.
cut out the middleman!

Clarity said...

you are just projecting a failed parental image on God. So obvious, you might get over it once you finally grow up.

onix said...

aanyhow its a problem if you take things serious they make you laugh.. but if you laugh others are getting serious.

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