انا انا انا ابريق الشاي

You won't see this on MEMRI, Amidst all the gay-bashing, hypocritical, sex-obsessed, honor-killing, helplessly fanatic, anti-semitic, horribly depressing 7th century Middle East where children shows diligently instruct children to decimate people of the Jewish religion, and unfortuantely for Mister Ghost and his ilk, people do act like normal funloving human beings sometimes. [GASP!] This innocent, nonsensical Egyptian song a la Lewis Carrol had a major effect on the weirder parts of my feeble young boy's brain. I realized today that it means absolutely nothing, and its rhythms are probably the worst ever made, that's why it's so fun.

[refrain] I am...I am...I am...the Teapot!
My hand like this
My mouth like this
I pour you tea
and go back like this...

Kids, I can also tell stories...
There was a one out of three
With four, five others, ta-ta-ta-ta!
who went to candy shop owner Amm Ali
and asked him for some chocolate wafers
Children, the candyman pondered a bit and then said:
"I have no chocolate wafers, but maybe the grocer has some"
and the grocer said : "Buy sugar"
"Buy sugar with everything you have"
The best thing in life is sugar
you could even ask...Mr. Teapot
Mr. Teapot! Mr. Teapot!
[refrain]
Once upon a time, there was a red dress
Adorned by a princess, named Marmar
there was also a male cat, and a turkey
and all of us were having one sweet time!
All is fine, all is great
but suddenly, an earthquake hit!
Turns out it's the Elephant with his trunk
he was dancing in the jungle...
Deep inside the Indian jungle
The elephant sang a song
it goes; "My trunk, you and me are nothing compared to Mr. Teapot."
Mr. Teapot! Mr. Teapot!
[refrain]
Once, in Wonderland
A tea party for three loving friends
The Bear, the puppy, and the ant
but the Fox was told to stay outside
The Fox encircled them all
and his tail was knotted seven times
Everyone was upset by the fox
and told him to stay away by 10 yards
Mr. Foxy said: "Oh yeah, just you wait"
"I'll ruin the chairs and hide the cups"
"and to make you cry and beg me dearly"
"I shall hide, Mr. Teapot!"
Mr. Teapot! Mr. Teapot!
There was...once...a Musician
with his friend, the songwriter
their boat drowned...
and they swam, and swam, and swam, and swam...
to the Island of Pirate Zannati
they used to be broad and big
but they appeared weak [???]
They looked like this because of [???]
and the horrid Piranha fish
the pirate said : Stand upright!
"Oh oh! We were doing just fine!"
"Let's persuade him with a song, how about Mr. Teapot!"
"Mr. Teapot! Mr. Teapot! I don't know it!"
"I'll just write it on the spot"
"Write away!"
[refrain]