Monday, August 15, 2005

Weird Iraqi Online Date....


this post was supposed to be a continuation of the previous musically-oriented episode but these require some effort on my part to write and arrange age-old theories in a circumcised version, so i'm gonna bail for the time being.

Anyway, 13 advised me to write sponatenosluy, so here goes...

SONG : Iron Maiden - The Nomad
This song contains one of my favorite solos of all time, this is the only solo that can physicallly bring wet tears to my eyes, it is so pretty and structrued. It has influenced me a great deal on the possibilties of mixing eastern melodies with heavy metal, this song is a little known album track from Brave New World (2000) my only favorite Maiden album, although i enjoy pretty much all the catalogue in general.

yesterday i went out on a date, it was the first date ever for me (i'm a loser, but hey i admit it) and also i don't think first dates come as weird as this...

i never was much of a romantic, too busy thinking about stuff...some people could drown in a vase of red flowers but for me it has always been tits and asses all the way along....i'm a pretty dawi guy lemme tell ya, i remember having my first chickie adventure at the nubile age of five, this chick's legs puzzled the heck out of me and i kept sliding balls under the couch she was sitting on so i could attempt a no use, in the end just as she was leaving house i quickly sniggled like the idiot i am and attempted a last-rites snapshot, all i could see was creepy white shit, i immediately hauled my ass upstaris and hid under the stairs, everybody (grandma, her & husband - DAMN!) had a moment of panicked silence.
Next week she asked me, i told her i was 'playin' hide and seek with my sis'...innocence is a beautiful thing.
Anyway, i am not going to delve into a full-fledged girlfest here and just scribble a bit about latest updates...i found this girl about a month ago through a website while i was in amman, i wrote to her just for kicks, hi became helllooooo and all of a sudden i was knee-deep into conversation, apparently she works for a foreign company, she was born in 1985, i always see eyebrows go up whenever i tell this to friends. Anyway, the girl was different than the usual, all of a sudden i found myself telling her about a sorry episode where i videotaped myself dancing naked with my guitar and, it was just so relaxed and casual and unnatural! i asked for her number and she gave it right away, however she always furiously heaved off all the clusmy pickup lines i managed throughout the phones and the IMs, we were (and still are, i guess) still casual friends, i had previously talked to iraqi girls online (and had got more than my share of troubles) but this was just, something else.
When i got back to iraq, i called her, and we set up a date but she stood me up (expected move), i didn't expect to see much of her afterwards, i still saw her online but talked to her less and less as time went on. She had introduced me to some of her friends (american, one a soldier - webcam proof) and one day they told me that she is had troubles cuz she ran away from home, her parents split up and she used to live with her granny but one day she just flipped! as a 20-yr-old iraqi male i had often thought of packing up all my shit and running away on numerous fights and occasions but there was always a connection to my family that denied all differences in the end, what kind of a girl is this?!? i was thinking that she'd probably fall in the wrong hands eventually, especially in times like these...but it was so out of context, she wasn't the usual brownskin porverty girl who would sell her pride for food, her manners was a string of the laughable upper-class VOY-cliches intertwined with an american teenage puberty stage...
i tried to reach her, her phone was locked.
to cut a long story short yesterday i find a misscall and i re-call to find that she had visited Kirkuk to see her mother and is now back in baghdad, she had quit working to continue college...i was feeling desolate so i rang up the date again and she immediately agreed, in her easygoing manner with anything.
We fixed a place in Mansoor, i went there with a couple of my buddies so in case she'd stand me up again i could have a ball with 'em...they were fidgety as all horny hormones and we went out with me tryin' hard to be neat but in the end teh fuckin' sand took care of that, both of my buddies looked like they were scouting nearby dustbins for leftovers, complete with the extended beards and torn trousers...i guess they did that just to piss me off in case she sees me with 'em...anyways, i went there, nobody in sight, she called shortly though and told me in a raspy voice to turn around the next corner and cross three intersections before turning right, and to buy her two phone cards.
What the?
i told her i had money for only one card, she said okay and byebyed, i figured hell i needed a card anytime, so it wasn't much of a loss anycase, i went nearby and bought a 10$ card after farting out a bit with my hormone-chllaneged colleagues...she called me and i told her i'm just around the corner, she asked about the card and told her i got it she said to put it in my phone and call her...
i felt in a bad spy movie, as if i passed some sort of intricate test...well to quote a wiseman once said : fuck the world. i shrugged and steered my Renault-12 (heh, heh, try to figure out that one, Billy) towards the destination, all of a sudden the place become hush-hushy and quiet, perfect for kidnapping, raping and all other fun games, my friends bailed at this point, i got lost and eventually called her, she directed a bit and finally i got it.
i reached the place, it was blank and had no expressions, extended high wall.
several gadgets outilned the wall, i ringed something and then fidgeted over what looked like a speakerphone. A harsh voice said : 'Who is this?'
'It's me, you told me to just come over here right (she couldn't guide me correctly and she sought the help of who i hoped was this striking chap), u're Dafdoof, moo? (name is fictional, sure as shit)'
'Do u work for El Mujahedeen' curtly and decsivie, his voice sounded like someone breaking pencils over the edge of a table repeatedly....whack
'Do u have a gun' Whack...
'step backward for the camera' i did so.
the door lazily opened, i was greeted by the muzzle of a shotgun, then a smiling black man, to the left of him was a tall brownskin and behind them stood my girl.
i smiled smirkly, somehow i expected this shit.
i greeted everyone and to my surprise she just took me and and we left, just me and her.

How could she trust me? it felt like a draem somehow, she told me everything about the companies and her family and how she works with americans, for all i know i could easily have fixed a date with some bearded fellas who would've been more pleased to slit her throat after raping her and collecting some good ransom money as well (this was in fact suggested to me by a friend, my eyes lit with wonder, no wonder iraq is fucked up! even the people u think u know most!!!)

i figrued either foolishness from her part or there's a catch somewhere. i didn't want to know, this was just out of boredom, and it was just for today.
i walked her around until 9:30, it was a pretty quiet date, she had already formed the idea that i was funny and she laughed at everything i said, which was very little, i was just prodding most of the time cautiously, i didn't hit on her ever (aside from a casual remark about her scent) and mostly listened to how everybody at work hits on her...anyway i retruned her via taxi someplace where a guy from her relative side could pick her up, the guy greeted me and didn't seem at all nervous from me, but he sure looked like any other honor-pride combo of iraqi mustache i've seen!!! it was a weird day, my preconceptions with iraqi soceity were somehow left-center...everything was wrong for me, people were wooing everywhere we went, men are truly animals, we'd walk into a store and all the salesman would fix their fuckin' eyes on her, seeing me staring at them, they'd shy away and sometimes not...fuckin' animals.

i had already seen her before, but it's always something else to watch a person in full-flesh mode for the first time, especially one u've known for a considerable period of time and had already imagained his physique all by yourself.

She was pretty, white, what struck first and foremost was her gray expressionless eyes that looked too old and too wise for the dimensions implied by her figure, age and speech. it was the eyes of a mother, hell, a grandmother, it added mystique.
she walked shoulder high, like a patrol officer.

Today i woke up and went to college and returned my routine, we belong to a social classifciation called probably 3tall Bataal, which is basically a bunch of guys who talk about women all day long and never talk to women at all.
Well, i don't want to get mixed up with her too much, she's dangerous to be with, so i guess i wouldn't repeat what i did too often, there are other factors that i couldn't write about, such as the jealousy of the ameircan soldier for some reason and how he tried to sabotage our relationship. For now she's just a friend, a unique friend, if you may...

well, this was too long and distorted, i am sorry but hey that's sponatoneity...

Out & About...


cile said...

intriguing, beautiful story. write on kid, write on!

aNarki-13 said...


one thing tho:

renault-11! not 12! there IS a renault 12!

so like, I'm not gonna preach anything, ur a wise one all by urself, but pls pls b xtra careful!

oh and GREAT POST! a little NON-effort (in anal-retentive writing) goes a LONG way!

thank you so much for thinking so high of me.. I'm afraid one day I'd disappoint u!

thank u again!

oh and dont take guys' advice bout girls, if theirs' was any good, they'd have GIRLS themselves!


liminal said...

Rock on.

Iron Maiden is the shiznit.

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ts said...

wow, first date at , what, 20?No wonder you are so...fustrated. lol. anyway, interesting post.