HUGE WARNING : This post is the amaglamation of three posts i have previously planned, one is the Mundane & Inevitable, Pt 2 post promised in my very first post, the other about the cultural identity between east/west, and the last about my own inability to withstand my ignorance amidst crushing uprise of crisis in Iraq, due to my non-Politics nature of the blog, i have sought to merge all three posts into one exorcism pot to get rid of them, resulting in a most unfortunate mess of ideas, u have been warned.
HUGE WARNING 2 : I am a twenty-years Iraqi guy trying to talk politics, therefore a huge amount of bullshit may occur at times. I apologize in advance.
"Don’t know what I want but I know how to get it
"I wanna destroy the passer by cos i wanna be anarchy"
- Sex Pistols
Anrachy can be fun, right? especially on the records...
My american cousin is 14 years old, he visited amman for two months and i was there for one month, a nice fella in his inside but completely ignorant, a severe disrespect for almsot everyone and esp. adults, at night he goes prowling the neighborhood screaming anarchy and ringing doorbells.
I watch him in silence. In seeing him, I understand what the Abu Ghareeb prison scandals are all about, they are mainly here to have some ignorant fun. Nice fellas, but they don't really care....think about it, about 99% of the good deeds u do or anybody else does ain't really about being good, but about FEELING good about yourself, all these 1st-world guys who feel ur pain aren't really. Nobody cares for u but urself, never ever forget that.
Would u care to see the homes destoryed, the families torn apart, the wail of twenty black-dressed women as they mourn an 'oops, sorry i shot ya' case as their helpless banshee fades out to nothingness and repeat that nefarious Sid Vicious laugh again?
I read Riverbend's Sepetember 11 entry, i couldn't help but feeling the dramatic fake overtones that capitulated some points to the advantage of appealing to a crowd, a card usually played by iraqis unconsciously due to the upbringing of Saddam's regime, which inforces the prose of horning and hooting, i esp. liked the way the RC fell out of somebody's hand....
Lemme tell ya what i was doing, i was watching some stupid thing on Iraqi National TV (probably Cartoons, considering it was about noon, and when it cut my first gut feeling was HEY WHAT THE F****...when i saw the planes hit the towers....i was 'huh?' it was a strange moment, in the sense that America's been hit! the unquenhcable giant! World War goes awry? Call America, You Win...Communism, Nazism, Faschism....the amazing power that u could depend on, has been hit! but i wasn't really shocked...i wasn't flustered, cuz ya know why? as a person, it didn't matter to me one bit. It ain't the center of the world to me.
and on some level, there was a happy voice chirping....
Sure, my condolesnces, they clearly are nice guys, but then again sorry folks, that's why i am here for, to tell u the truth and make u understand more about us. I only read Sci-Fi, and the biggest lie about Sci-Fi in my case isn't aliens or space travel or energy portals, but the unified earth.
There ain't no way in a million years that earth could be unified, unless it'd be wiped out by a singular race, Earth is the only stage required for mankind's theatre in a precondition set by God, or Nature if u please to call him that. Simply put, Human Racism is quite built-in everywhere, u cannot deny it, even in our holy books...ur identification with ur own race must be strong, cuz theese are the only people u can really count on...Unfortunately.
As Sam Huntington's Clash Of Civilizations points out quite vividly...i ain't talking about bloody masscre, it's about cultural ID.
To me, and surely to many other Arabs who won't admit it, Osama Bin Laden is much like the voice of Saruman, ur reasoning quite assures u that he is wrong, but his low, gentle voice lulls u into a dreamscape of the glories of our Arab Nation, a nation about greatness, justice, and truth. His peaceful speeches that belie the usual madman gloating of the exterme guys blanket the countless atrocities committed by his group, who i think of as enemies of Islam before being enemies of anybody else, cuz they run contrast to the tolerance that was always part of the religion (as opposed to, say, the violent killings done in Spain at the time of Elizabeth & Ferdinand against anybody who ain't christian)
MOVIE PLOT : In post-war Iraq, a forgotten laboraotary that has been kept notoriously in secret until now has been developing a time-machine, head engineer, Falah Hussein, is accidentally kidnapped by Abu Musaab El Zarqawi, no sooner than El Zarqawi learns about the machine than he decides to return back to the times of prophet to ask for guidance in the jihad against unbelievers, El Zarqawi, armed with an AK-47, was aiming after Mecca's libeartion but misses it and returns eight years earlier, when muslims were 40+ members huddled secretly in some house, before even reaching them, armed with an AK-47, he wipes out half Mecca's population in a Jihaad frenzy, thus causing a large population of present-day arabs to fade into nothingness, their parents being dead before their conception.
My point is to say that if one takes a message from the prophet, fighting is nothing but the last option, and battle must be openly and accepted upon, muslims were tortured by the dozen earlier on and the Prophet would do nothing but say : 'Patience, patience'. One must gather his own strengths first.
Arabs are frequently humiliated in movies and books, being shown as illiterate, dirty foul creations of nature, brianless apes shot down by Indiana Jones...a friend of mine sent me a link to Franz Kafka's stories, one of them 'Jackals & Arabs' offer several implicit (& explicit) insults to our race, especially striking is the simple equality between Jackals & Arabs, as if we are some sort of animals.
Arab Nation is a great place, dudes, even if me saying so at the current moment with a lot of disbelief, it ain't now, we've been too much run in the mud to see how great we are, but i tell ya, it's got lotsa cool stuff, it illuminated the Dark Ages of the West. In examining many productions, u find a determined negligence and/or insult of the arab role, for example, in the movie Genghis Khan, Arabs are always mentioned as Persians, and once when an arab envoy is sent, he is humiliated in the most enderaing fashion exclusively of all other races...(interestingly, the hero of that 60s Hollywood film is Omar Shariff, an egyptian).
It's Friday, i listen to the weekly speech given by the nearby mosque's Imam at noon, he concludes that Katrina is the hurricane Allah sent to punish nonbelievers, and upon raising his hands in the traditional pryer to god, the usual drone of 'Amen' that usually is no more than a sheepish static is rendered to an exciting uprise, admiteddly, we are moved to believe this.
If one believes the Koran, there were many bad guys who were terminated with hurricanes & wind (Aad, Thamood) and my Imam did a great demo of these, come to think of it...are America genuinely bad guys collectively??? God and Religion are frequently mocked about in the Western lifestyle and frankly even though i enjoy many of the American Way of Life's liberalism, i would never think of it as the utopian way of life for anybody, when Oprah asks Aishwarya Rai (sorry for misspells) what Indian women think of American Women, do they consider us bad cuz we have sex? Man, i almost blushed! Would u think of Shurooq Faiq, Uday's favorite TV whore asking that anytime soon?
هل تعتقد ان النساء الامريكيات ينيجن هواية؟ انصل على 7791212 للادلاء برأيك
I watch FRIENDS everyday, i have a hoot and enjoy it everyday, and i feel brutally ashamed everyday. it's probably one of the most dangerous products of the West cuz it promotes dangerous ideas in a fun, hip form that u'd love to do....sex has become more and more an easy subject for me along the guidelines of such daily discipline, think of what could that do to a collective youth? while in theory i am supposed to find that enthralling, psychologically it is not. It feels MORALLY wrong. Deep down inside, where u can't lie.
Bottomline, American Way of Life is a negative influence even amongst me, a guy who's supposedly American in all his ways of life.
These feelings of humilition, and longing for the true extent of our civilization are some of the factors that fuel arab desire for a better day, if u ask me, American should encourage Islamic study, not oppress it, thus fueling resistance even more.
MOVIE PLOT #2: A disgusted taxi cab driver is fed up with the way life is and his disconected mirror-talking self finally explodes in a catharsis of anger and frustration that threatens an entire city.
now substitute Travis Bickle for Islam Extremist, NY City for World. these terrorists main psyche gripe is not derived from simple American hatred, but also from a feeling of shame from themselves as well. If u could feel for Bickle, shouldn't u feel sorry for their disillusionment? Had America learned to feed these inferiority feelings, it would have been a great deal off.
I haven't posted in so long because aside from going to Amman to do some stuff with my parents i have been doing some serious thinking about the objectives of this blog.
Surfing thru the iraqi blogosphere at the time of creation of this blog i was genuinely bored, there were all ur ABCs, the typical politiblogs that are bound to appear, already targeted at foreigners and stock-full of the usual goddam heated exchanges of opinions and fights that already inundate the television, media and local sittings. it was horrible stuff and i actually thought that i would achieve something by talking about how life actually goes about in Iraq for a collegeman who really doesn't care about that crap as one might possibly be led to believe, we have a life going on!! Looking back, i haven't even achieved this --- largely due to the fact that as a person i am not quite normal enough to convey the typical iraqi twentysomething.
For a farily approximate male iraqi in his 20s deviant from the Political and Candycoated Hypocrisy types, check out my friend's Caesar Of Pentra, a not-getting-any, but still able to acknowledge Rumdan & Aimaa with the usual stereotypical dialogue imprinted by heart due to Iraqi's neccesity of learning copious lenghts of useless text in Saddam's time, i sat nearby him whilst he created his blog.
I read Truth About Iraqi's last post, it was strong and to the point, but he again played the dramatic card, although quite in place....We had our peace, life was in order, u knew what to do and do not and if u followed these hypocrisy well u could lay ur head at ur pillow at night at ease ; while America was watching Seinfeld, Iraqis were watching The Family Of Hajj Mitwali.
Now it is complete and heinous anrachy, u actually don't know what to fear cuz there are already so many of them. Death is quite in fashion these days, it is quite difficult now to talk about girls and guitars or whatever when it has blown up so out of proportion. It was different when i started this blog, it has become unbearable now.
Before i left Iraq, a person got whacked at the end of our street, he was sitting at a Police Capt's house with two other guys & capt when armed maskmen made swiss cheese out of them.
I was passing by the house when the corpse was mailed-in, the chorus of wailing women send shivers down my spine to this very day.
Next day, other end of street, taxi guy gets whacked by the taxi fare.
Eh... who's to blame?
Two days ago i seeped through my messenger list, there were two guys online, was a faroff acquanitnace, the other was an american soldier, i met him a few months ago in some chatroom or something.
i clicked on him and said hi, as i was doing so, a queer sensation built up inside of me, i have never experienced it before in regard to american soldiers.
it was hate. blind and angry
what have u done to our country?
It is so hard to be of mind when u are filled with hate, which if i may point out, is a sudden heating sensation that rushes through ur canals and seeps through ur heart so vividly, fearfully rendering ur thought inanimte as it pushes u to do something....
I urged to fight my hate down because it is the reason of errors, besides America has done so much for me as a culture, all i read is Western novels, i play rock'n'roll offsprings - a pure American invention - and sometimes i even think in English lanuage, i have never been proud of this. Our Arab culture has so many great hot stuff, it's a shame we always tend to think of it in the context of a tribal, degenerate spirit, it's got tons of cool, folks!
By mistake I played Fog El Nakhal on my acoustic guitar, i couldn't get it out of my head, it's amazing how such beautiful, beautiful music has been made by mindsets i have always considered muddy and stubborn. I was spellbound by surprise, mostly...
They got it all, irony, sex, u name it,
This is a joke from an old book of my grandpa:
a wiseguy told a lebsian once : 'O Sister, bananas are delicious'
to which she replied : 'true, but it inflates the belly.'
See? everything is down there, sharp wits could rework these fun bits into a modern whole not in ur usual 'enhancing the image of East in West' by importing Western franchises, what is needed is a revival that has a distnict stamp of the East but incorporating a new cool into it.
This can be even implemented in religion, such as the case of brilliant Amro Khalid, whose unorthodox teaching beliefs of not scaring ya off with a sword and frown, his brilliant understanding of the contextual arab youth and intelligent aversion to politics have served a great deal in his re-shaping of traditional religious sermons that absolutely nobody actually listens to (youthwise). This cynic has shed his tears twice over his lectures.
Kiddos, i guess i talked a lot of crap here but anyways it's my blog so there ya go...
U might've noticed that i got no standard point of reference, one moment i'm Mr.Religious wet-eyed the other i'm sex-obsessed freak....that is my exact defintion, 'Konfused' as all arab youths are, intermingling higher causes with the usual dabble, only now the gimmick has faded and the grim reality of the black world has dawned on an unsuspecting kid, hence the true C obliterates the fancy K in this post's title.
This is probably my most confusing post.
Sorry dudes, next time.
I hung out with 13 twice so far, i'm gonna call him up today for another hangout before i leave to Iraq tomorrow night, 13 returns with me but in a separate car cuz he's got his family, i am eager to meet all my friends again despite my pop's growing concerns over the situation in Iraq (and speaking of mass media confusion, my pop kept asking me about my friends, who's Sunni/Shiite, do u talk abotu stuff like that? CALM DOWN, it hasn't grown to that yet in Baghdad at least, don't know about other places but u don't have to know this to survive...)
LIFE IN IRAQ GOES ON....DON'T LISTEN TO THE FUCKING TEARMONGERS.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT AS OF NOW THE TOILET IS CLOGGED.
Btw, i would love to meet some iraqi bloggers like 13 here did, on my wishlist mostly is Salam Pax, who i feel is an older, more political version of myself (i was particularly mesmerized by the fact that he is homo, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? dude! i so wanna talk to ya - not that way though- , i told 13 about that and his eyebrows arched....it's quite cool, in Iraqi Gay who openly admits that is powerful, did he ever talk about that in details? it's probably the reason he don't believe in religion either...anyway i'll talk about that later)
Also i'd like to meet Baghdad's Mistress, who hasn't been writing for a long time, and my nice friend Haneen With Love (so nice to hear from ur comment, as soon as i saw it i wrote this) and last but not least the Neurotic Wife.
i think i'll see Average Iraqi soon too....
and speaking of Amman, what the hell is gone wrong with the blashempous guys who design the pedes, (where i come from they're called shutt-afas, erm, don't know what u guys call it but it's basically a bowel made of porcelain or somesuch that shoots out water to rid ur esteemed other hole from so much crap), these guys are (*#&@ murderers, we have three bathrooms in our appartment in cozy Western Amman, in each i'd have to take a different sitting position [lowering rear, lowering rear with an acute -oooof- angle, u name it]....aside from that, i guess it was a refreshing change from the usual array of practical jokes back in Baghdad : electricity, water and ra-ta-tat)
A Nice Day...
The Kid Himself