Saturday, February 18, 2006

Mohammed vs Laudrup

The year is 1992, I am a small kid, about 7 years old, I am frantically on my way back home, I get out from the car and leave my parents wondering in their seats....shit shit shit, I gotta get there on can't be true, the bell is already ringing in my mind's eye, grandma opens, I push her aside and go over to the TV set...

and by the lordy Allah it's true, oh my Allah! it can't be!

Denmark has scored the second!
It was 1992 Euro Cup finals, Germany vs Denmark, I was a real German at the time, they exerted a much more attractive halo than the boring USA dudes who always win.
some dude named Marc Laudrup scored twice, it was my first encounter with the Danes, and it left a permanent childhood scar that forever haunted me...
so there, I told ya! u keep shutting me up but I told u and u won't listen...Denmark is the devil! Told u, for ten years I been tellin' ya....they are no use, there is no use....and now it's been done, now it's broke and ain't nobody's gonna do something about all the shit...

I wake up, go to the fridge, do a sleepy-eye makeshift inspection, and voila, there in the treacherous corner of the first drawer....what the?
An almost depelted package of Danish butter Lurpak...
Blood and sugar pressures went to the devil immediately...this is outrage! This is blasphemous, how can a Danish product survive in our god-abiding, muslim household...La, and a thousand La...I took out the cursed vile from the refrigerator and recalimed the appliance in the name of Islam.
I whipped out a knife, and with a ear-piercing 'Allahu Akbar' that startled my half-deaf gradnma I charged, cutting up the cursed butter into slices, frantically, I spread that on bread and added the nice aftertouch of strawberry blood - munching up the dreaded work of Satan quickly into oblivion, my mission to eradicate the evil conspiracy off the face of the planet was a resounding success!


Seriously now,
I've already talked this at New York Times, my attitude was that of regret over the the Muslim reaction but with a somewhat Arabian pride - not the usual look-how-stupid-we-are stance taken by secular thinkers. Unforuntaely, I gave the Times the luxury to edit as they please, I was a wee lad, couldn't believe it, so they shelved up the Arab pride aspects - and so I felt I had to re-write my mind.
Some blogging friends of mine have already pointed out that them people who cry foul cuz the prophet's drawn are irrelevant cuz he's already been done a thousand times are a little missing the point, and so are other friends who for some unknown reason think the fuss is cuz Danish people did it are WAAY missing it...
not to sound like I'm full-of-myself selling-crap-for-cake pipe-mouth but here's my 2 cents :
First off, the publishing act in itself got the heat because of THE TIMING. The timing is critical, always, think Nirvana's Nevermind or Michael Jackko'S thriller - hitting the world at the right hour on the zeitgeist clock...
and what better timing to create a chaos when relations between Muslims and the West are constantly muddy after Septemebr 2001, the unspoken public Image of Islam has finally bared its ugliness out in the open -
Now, listen, just shut up and listen a minute before u go burning embassies and churches, it is natural somehow that this feast of uncovery would manifest itself in a country as removed from the affair as Denmark, had this occured in US or Uk, it probably wouldn't have seen the light of day cuz these people are knee-deep in shit with Islam already, they know it hurts the public image and wouldn't tolerate that kind of stuff. It's only common sense that this Western perspective of Islam would be more visible on the parts of world that are a little more ignorant of the sensitivty of such subjects and didn't forsee the true enormity nor concept of what is afoot - good ole Danes are probably the most tolerant of the lot and didn't munch about with Islamic jihaad, so they let loose what is a general overview of Islam not in Denmark but the West in general, in the same way that the cartoons aren't about Mohammed explicitly but really describes Muslims objectively, but u have to have it in a box so u can point ur finger at it, and Denmark unwittingly reaped what they sow.
I have always disliked collective judgement 'All mosul people are cheap'....'all Kuwait are Moslem Jews'....blah blah blah...So right now it's 'All danish are Islam-haters' the cartoons more or less is the indirect product of Al-Qaeda's battles with the West; the violent un-tolerant ideas they presented to the world as Islam, when u're sitting around at the best country in the world living the American Life, and some maniac kabooms a plane to ur favorite trade tower in the name of Islam and Muhammed, would u expect urself to understand the more tolerant aspects of the religion, aspects which hasn't affected u in any way or to fear and hate the gun-toting bearded dude who appears on TV and threatens to eradicate all ur life away for no particular reason of YOUR own doing?
Don't call ur friend for this one.
and so the rest of the Moslem world hung its collective world like it always did and let Bin Laden do the talking, then there's always these people :

Kid : Look at these embassies burning! They're loonies!Grandma: Why is that? They get what they deserve! those heathens, insulting our religion like this...Kid : Well i'm with the demonstrations and all, but what about the violence?Grandma: Things get out of hand...u know...too much spirit...Kid : What about the church bombings here?Grandma : That's Jew's the Sep 2001....
welcome to the way life works presented by A Muslim...Jews Jews jews...Tom & Jerry? Arab & Jew! Adil Imam? Jew...Michael Jackson? Jew....Ur slipper cut off? Jew did it while u sleeping....

Aha! Eureka, we solved it! then u get these clueless Danish dudes who want to do the book about Islam, he can't find a cartoonist, so he tests the freespeech, in this rational gleeful offensive way Westerners often do.
The act was stupid, the insults intended, but perhaps innocent in not knowning how offensive! they could've did a vague Muslim caricature but they had to go and pick on the prophet himself! I believe in freedom of speech and all that, but this is kicking waay below the belt dude, Jyllands-Posten itself declined to publish Jesus-related material, citing its likely to create 'unfavorable tension'....and why can nobody diss the holocaust then? ha? answer me this?....fuckin' double-standards...
The acts of bombings, protests and embassy fires have cemented the fact that Muslims in general are intolerant and barbaric on such religious matters, and probably on all matters. In my opinion, what was needed was a reaction of dignity, a reaction that showed ur offender how small and meaningless was his childish purposes were...I'm all for the economic's effective, suave and wouldn't hurt anybody in the physical sense, unfortunately, that is all apeshit in a nation of short-tempered history.
But i can't deny another thing....
U know...I watch these marches, and I feel it, THE PRIDE, the dangerous pride, of the ancient nation....that we can do something, we ain't as scattered, fat and torn as we have always thought we are, the force of reaction was fierce and admirable - i know it was wrong, but it was enjoyable in a sick kind of way, it's really weird, it's like when this one time Ahmedinijad was barking on the TV about not giving in to USA ways, and there's my grandpa saying :
'I like that motherfucker'
Grandpa! Why u painter, poet, Iraqi military ambassador at USA in the sixties, Sunni colonel...why would u say such a thing?
'Cuz he ain't afraid of the West'
and that's just right! he put it perfectly, the march, Ahmedinijad and even Bin Laden all cast a glint of sick, incorrect pride in the heart of every true Moslem no matter how much he tells u he condmens these vile acts, cuz we are born and raised on lost glory and the true embodiment of Islam, nevermind the nuke or the misguided Jihad, i'm talking about my own star-spangled banner, these are the only people who put up a fight when everybody's else is in bed with the powers that be.

There is nothing wrong with that pride, but the fault is in that so far there is no outlet for it except by being an outlaw.

And therefore, urgent need is now for another facet of that pride, a facet that is both morally and politically correct - the moderate Islam rising up to counter-act the four years of Islam extremism has done to deform its name.
The cartoons are a blessing in disguise, Islam has a golden opportunity now to present its moderate, forgiving core to the masses at large, at its real heart - Islam is more about free debate and forgiveness. Both the cartoons and Bin Laden are the work of extremists on either sides of the factions, extremists who try to widen the gap between cultures.
The prophet has been routinely kicked and spit upon in his early days, but he was patient, he was patient, he never did what u all did now...witness this quran verse : 'O unbelievers, I do not worship that which u worship...u have your religion and I have mine', nobody cares about it now cuz it promotes freedom of religion and that's incompatible with the common Islam idea in the west...Islam needs to abandon the sword and beard and wear the suit and tie, like Kurt Cobain once said : 'Infiltrate the system, then rot from within'

This post was more hard-hearted and cynical originally, but I watched Amro Khalid's two-centing the topic yesterday and I am ashamed to tell all my rock'n'roll-mentality brothers that tears actually streamed down my face...Islam's a beautiful's so sad what's going on...

'We have made you into different nations and cultures so that you may know and learn from each other'- Holy Quran


attawie said...

Seriously.. this is the best post I read about the cartoons.
It's not only forgiveness and living with other nation in the same world, it's about "To divide is to rule". This is the big plan.

Melantrys said...

A very good post indeed. I have to correct you on one point though: Denmark is so liberal that apparently caricatures about the holocaust would be allowed.
Something that I am glad is forbidden here in Germany.
Why? Because. Your comparing the Jyllands-Posten not printing Jesus caricatures as opposed to the Mohammed ones I totally agree on. Mocking and/or denying the death of so many people in such a dreadfully effective way as it was done during the 3rd Reich is a different story altogether. Death and crime should not be belittled, if you know what I mean.
Plus, denying the holocaust is a favourite pastime of fascists here and elsewhere, so they should not get any kind of aid under the name of Freedom of Speech.

Did you already hear that the Italian politician who had himself a Mohammed cartoon shirt made and worn on tv has bowed to public pressure and resigned? As well he should; both sides have to really stop now rekindling the flames over and over again, or we'll really end up in a bloody clash of the cultures.

Off topic: Hey, I never see you online these days; where are you hiding?

The dude formerly known as Dayez said...

Dude, we all agree that the cartoons were tasteless. That is, if they were made intentionally to provoke such a reaction. Unfortunately, the 'loons' fell for it and proved to everyone they are nothing but a barbaric bunch of horny macho young men. That is what's so idiotic about the whole issue.

But, I think I told you before that nothing is sacred. Yes, even ridiculing death is not sacred. I have a right to deny the holocaust, and I have a right to say Allah is one sick fuck, and I have a right to say Bin Laden is my hero, and I have a right to say evil Jews control the world, and I have a right to say Muslims are primitive ragheads, and I have a right to say whatever the hell I want. This is not just about freedom of speech. There would be no progress at all if we curb debate. I say something, you say something. We discuss it and move on to another level.

But this secret pride you speak of. Interesting.

And Amru Khalid can come lick my hairy balls. Everyone knows he's a fraud and a hypocrite. Read the story of how he once tried to seduce a young girl in hijab who used to admire him in the UAE. The girl has since dropped her hijab. I'll try to find a link for you.

aNarki-13 said...

3amro Khalid is a hack.
if you like muslim tv-evangelism, try Ahmed Hidaya, catch him on Dream2, sometime in the evenings..

Pride is a dangerous thing, my friend.
a little humility, once a while, is good for the soul.

good post, but i'm still not getting it!

I mean, you implied that the fuss happened cuz the drawings appeared in Denmark, of all places!

thats what i said too!

aNarki-13 said...

oh and Mel is right.

just as we dont like it when people make fun of our beliefs and culture, they don't either..

Ahmedinajad's comments have no relation of faith to the subject.. he just wants to get a reaction, any kind of reaction, from the west.

aNarki-13 said...

ouch. FYI, i didnt read what "the dude... ...dayez" had to say when i wrote my comments..

fiery temper, but we do share some points of view.

Melantrys said...

Triple posting! Respect!

*grins at AnaRki*

Anonymous said...

You know how the Danish paper that printed the Mohammad cartoons but supposedly never printed things ugly to Christians or Jews.....sorry, but it's not true. They have in fact have published items considered taboo by Christians and are just repeating Muslim propaganda. Muslims are being picked on....yeah, right.

Melantrys said...

Well, Anonymous, the "truth" (?) depends on when you read/heard the news. One week Jyllands-Posten is defending why they didn't print the Jesus cartoons, the next week they say they printed 'em... so what's the truth, man? I sure don't know.

Yo, Kid, I quoted you on my blog; I hope that's ok. :)

Anonymous said...

melantrys, you're wrong and heres the proof:

As I said, it's the Muslims who have a double standard.
The editor of the Jyallands Posten said.....

"In fact, the same cartoonist who drew the image of Muhammed with a bomb in his turban drew a cartoon with Jesus on the cross having dollar notes in his eyes and another with the star of David attached to a bomb fuse. There were, however, no embassy burnings or death threats when we published those."
(whole article is here:)

Kid, you should admit you are a sucker for the Muslim whining. The only double standard has been one that gives special treatment to Islamists. That is going to go bye bye.

Melantrys said...

Anonymous, did you read what I wrote? Yes, what you are citing is this week's news. Last week the news were exactly the other way around. tLast week they were reported as saying that those cartoons were sent in to them without them asking for cartoons on Jesus, which was why they didn't print them.
No matter which is the real truth you have to wonder what the media stands to gain by making things up.
Because obviously one of those "truths" has to be a lie.

So either last week's news was the lie (meant to anger Muslims even further???) or this week's is (then it should have been reported earlier!)

But why do I try to argue with you? It's obvious where you're coming from.

But one more thing in the name of equal treatment of religions: Where is the call for whiping Christians off this world, seeing what dangerous fanatics they are? Shooting abortion doctors because they feel that killing unborn babies is no better than burning embassies.

Fanatics are frothing at the mouth, no matter where they come from; this is not something only Muslims do.

Caesar of Pentra said...

I really gotta go to bed

Anonymous said...

See how people like Melentrys wil use lies and divert from the facts of an argument.
Is it really an answer to The Kid's small mistake to whine that Christians is just as reactionary as Islamists?

I showed you the fact that the Danish publication DID print Jesus and Jew mocking cartoons. AND there was NO VIOLENCE or threats from the Christians and the Jews. It's a fact, you can't argue that and I showed the link. If you still don't believe email them and get the back issues.

I'm simply saying that the Kid was wrong in that case and needs to get real about piss Christ, crappo Mary, scores of grotesque depictions of Jews, etc. that's all.

There is a huge, a gaping, day and night difference between how the Muslims and how the people of other religions act in regards to being offended. Now this would be a good discussion, why are Muslims so touchy about what non-Muslims do? There's some meat there.

Many years ago Martin Scorcese made a movie of a gay Jesus and I don't remember any Christian violence, do you? With Melaentyrs saying that Muslims are no worse than Christians, why don't we discuss how Muslims would react to a movie of a gay Mohammad? I think that most Muslims can't deal with the answer to that question. FREAK OUT.......DO NOT QUESTION THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!

Running Man said...

marc laudrup? i thought there were only two of them michael and brian...

Anonymous said...

Free speech is not only to speak as you please, but to speak out as you please. For the Moslem crowd to protest, rant in the streets, boycott products is in my mind unfortunate, but completely acceptable behavior. The issue is when it turns to violence and destruction of property.

This same issue occurs in the States as well. It is acceptable for Christians to protest in front of an abortion clinic, but unaccepable to attack the doctors or women. Radical enviromentalists may boycott companies or protest actions, but it goes too far when they block roads or destroy property.

We are not surprised at the reaction of Moslems, but rather are surprised at the violence which came with it. In the modern world, people need to be free to express themselves without fear of attack.

As for denying the holocaust, this issue (for America at least) has to do with state leaders making the statement, not the people themselves. Moslems are free to deny the realities of the holocaust, and in fact America has hundreds of publications and organizations which believe the same.

Any community which cannot contain its anger or glorifies the abuse of other people, for any reason, cannot be respected in the modern world. It is important that the Moslem people fell free to express their anger or hatred, but they also must prevent the anger and hatred to evolve into violence.

cile said...

one or two weeks ago Ahmedinijad was as well rumbling on TV (it has become part of the 'global' daily show), but i tell you, i had to laugh after first being quite flabbergasted by his quoting (freely) of Voltaire: "Thank god my enemies are ridiculous!" (or did he say stupid? one can't be too sure of translations either). but it's an overall surreal queasy dance indeed. and that pride that you call dangerous, that's a real insight to me. interesting yes.

Frenzie said...

"Many years ago Martin Scorcese made a movie of a gay Jesus and I don't remember any Christian violence, do you? With Melaentyrs saying that Muslims are no worse than Christians, why don't we discuss how Muslims would react to a movie of a gay Mohammad? I think that most Muslims can't deal with the answer to that question. FREAK OUT.......DO NOT QUESTION THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!"

If you read correctly you would see that Melantrys said that fundamental Christians are just as bad and violent. Hell, I need only to point at Northern-Ireland for a much more violent example than "just" attacking docters and such. And you don't even need a religion. I need only to refer to the Rote Armee Fraktion.

Some people are just violent for the sake of being violent. They use the worst exuses to be so. But quite frankly those cartoons are pretty much the worst exuse ever. Relatively speaking of course, because it's still a much better exuse than the crusades (to free the holy city of Jerusalem). At first sight you might say it's comparable, but compensated for the time in that time it would have to be attacking someone just because you're bored. That would be comparable to attacking someone nowadays for a (not very offensive) cartoon.

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Anonymous said...

What the Bible teaches
about Jesus vs What the Quran teaches about Mohammed

Jesus is the Son of God
(John 10:36)
Mohammed was a man
(Surah 18:110)

Jesus performed miracles
(Mark 7:37)
Mohammed Did not perform miracles
(Surah 17:59)

Jesus knew what is inside people's hearts
(Revelation 2:23)
Mohammed did not know what is inside People's hearts
(Surah 11:31)

Jesus is our advocate with the Father
(1 John 2:1 & 2)
Mohammed is not our advocate with the Father
(Surah 9:80)

Jesus forbade His followers to use the sword
(Matthew 26:52)
Mohammed urged his followers to use the sword
(Surah 8:65)

Jesus taught forgiveness
(Matthew 5:38,39)
Mohammed taught revenge
(Surah 2:194)

Jesus was sinless
(1 Peter: 2:22)
Mohammed was sinful
(Surah 47:19)

Jesus words never change
(Matthew 24:35)
The Quran words changed
(Surah 16:101)

Jesus healed the blind man
(Luke 18:35-43)
Mohammed turned away from the blind man
(Surah 80:1-10)

Jesus called on people to come to Him
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Mohammed was admonished because he sent people away
(Surah 6:52)

Jesus taught monogamy
(Matthew 19:5,6)
Mohammed taught polygamy
(Surah 4:3)

People were free to accept Jesus' message or reject it
(Luke 10:10,11)
People were forced to accept Mohammed's message
(Surah 9:29)

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