Wake Up and Smell The Shiite

Ali al-Wardi said in the conclusion of his seminal book Wu'aadh al-Salatin (Sultans Preachers), published in the 1950s:

"Religious fervor in Iraq weakened, but sectarianism remained: Iraqis became sectarian but non-religious, an interesting thing indeed!

It can be said, anyway, that sectarianism in Iraq is on its way to oblivion, it cannot function in society long after the departure of its father, religion, it is now dying ; and will join its dead father sooner of later."

Poor Mr. al-Wardi, I bet he must be rolling in his grave repeatedly. Even in the Western World, one's identification with his religion takes a long time to fade after his actual devotion.

I'm tired, I'm sick and tired of advocating an idea that doesn't exist, talking about principles that are nowhere near the ground and never will be for centuries to come, we are still living in the Medieval Ages of religious persecution, no foreign-installed democracy is going to change that, the 20th century sudden-shock efforts of modernization in the Middle East have quickly vanished as people reverted back to the way they were.

Never be fooled, like I was, that the idea of a secular, unified Iraq is an actual possibility that can be attained in the next elections or so, all these writers and bloggers who started to write one day, eager about the possibilities of the bright future, slowly and surely all of them realized that horrid facade at one point or another, in effect, they all tone their arguments, whether they are resisting the occupation, or focusing on al-Qaeda or Saddam's crimes endlessly, around a single focal unconscious point, they all pretend that they care about the single unified Iraq but what they really want to say is that we don't like the other side and we never will.

In the past, inquiring about one's sect was somewhat of an insult, but are Iraqis really that mindful of their Iraqiness more than their religion? OF COURSE NOT. It's only social hypocrisy, one of the most deep-seated diseases of double-standards here. As long as religion is not completely eliminated, voluntarily by its adherents, there will never be common ground to build between the two sects to create the ideal nation-state ; the fundamentals of the Shia faith are built, quite simply, to vilify and demonize the 'founders' of Sunnism ; this ideological barrier is now brought to the forefront as common masses, even seculars, atheists, rediscover and entrench those mutual hostilities. Moderates on both sides will be more likely to embrace the pride of their religion rather than saunter to break an ice that has been sitting there for 1,400 years.

The Shias don't really care about just democracy, human rights, civilization or any of that nonsense ; what matters for them is that they are in power. You can see that quite clearly by the way they defend Abu Deraa, virtually a Shia Zarqawi, as a hero of the common masses, The Brits realized what a colossal mistake it would be to install a people who are still clung to Pope-style theocracy and decided, rather wisely, against it. It worked for a while, until the Iranian revolution, coupled with Saddam's heroic aspirations, came along, but mostly, it was Iran's desire to spread theocracy that gave Saddam the excuse he badly needed.
The Americans, in their arrogance, cared little about details, and aided by faux-secular opportunists like Mr. Chalabi, they gave the Shias the upper hand again. I don't think it will last long either.
This report by the Crisis Group is a fascinating detail about the Sadrist role in the civil war, the amount of bloodshed mentioned in the report is quite ridiculous, and yet there are still asswipes still believe the death count is somewhere around 150,000.
almost 75% of Baghdad is now Shia, bombarded by ugly truths such as these, which greatly damages the fragile common ground between Sunnis and Shiites and accentuates the ever present religious and social hostility and differences between the two in one's perceptions, a moderate guy like me who still until recently dreamed about a secular Iraq would have no choice but reconsider his identity ; repeatedly through reading the report, the image of finding a Shiite, repeatedly beating the shit out of him and telling him to go back to live in the Iraq that is now his came to my mind.

Of course, one would always hope for a social uprising of some sort, but the bitter truth speaks otherwise.

I decided to make dinner, I had an innocent conversation with my sister, she was talking about the difficulties of the paperwork she had in college and the alienation she felt there, in the end she said: "I miss Saddam, I never realized I would say this one day but I really long for his shitty days."

For the first time ever, I understood.

After a year of complaining repeatedly about how much everybody loves Saddam, after realizing that everything I stand for were very remote pipe dreams, that in the end, when you realize these lies, when your own being is attacked, you have to defend your identity, so, against all that I believed in, I could only sigh and say:

"Me too."

Small Note On Post Below

There are no good Shia or bad Sunnis, it's strictly politics.

An interesting analogy to understand the nature that: The recent Mahdawiya incidents in Iraq, which tried to rebel against the mainstream Shia community, have been mercilessly assaulted, wronged, oppressed and described as being 'hypnotized' and 'recruited by Arab intelligence' by the ruling government and the clergy, in more than one way ; the struggle between Mahdawiya and Shiism is a smaller version of the struggle between Sunnism and Shiism ; a large 'orthodox' group is challenged by a smaller renegade group that attacks the foundations of the orthodoxy and purports to hold divine wisdom.

We can also go completely insane and say that while The Western Judeo-Christian World rapidly progressed through all walks of life, leading in complete global worldwide domination, the Muslims lived in denial, turning inwards on their culture and themselves and have been suffering ever since, producing disastrous solutions like al-Qaeda ; in the same sense, Sunnism as a political system branched out healthily and without divine complications, confident in its rule, while the oppressed Shia lived in denial, feeding upon their own helplessness to create imaginary figures that would come back to the rescue, and eventually, when the Shia transformed from obscure and hazy revolutionary slogan into a comfortable orthodoxy with legal institutions (hawza), the poor and neglected would develop their own ideas and develop movements like those Mahdawiya. Just another fish in the food chain.

The Shia Arab Question

"Shia Arab", a paradox?

NOTE: This article references the following books.
[1] The Social History of Iraq, Ali al-Wardi *Shiite*
[2] Preachers of Sultans, Ali al-Wardi *Shiite*
[3] Story of Shia in Iraq: The Complex and the Dogma, Saif al-Khayatt *Shiite*
[4] States Without Foundations, Abbas Kelidar *Shiite*
[5] When The Shiites Rise, Vali Nasr *Shiite*
[6] Sunni Ambition and Shia Fears, Mohammed Baqir Juwad *Shiite*


A beautiful Iraqi girl sent me a message on Facebook yesterday: "Where in Baghdad are you from?" After I told her I am from al-Adhamiya, she brazenly retored: "A Sunni, at last!" Because she was such a hot babe, I decided to shed a blind eye to her racism, but after a few minutes of conversation, I called it quits, the word "Sunni" was virtually the start of every line, and her hatred of Shias was quite simply more than I could stomach.
This conforms to the behavior of many Iraqis I have met, it is the norm, not the exception, I only know of Sunnis because sectarianism is quite evidently a members-only club, but I'm sure Shias are just as lovely ; what is interesting is that many, far many secular and atheist people that I have met hate, or at least are very suspicious, of Shias not out of religious differences, but simply just so.
And so here is the question that had haunted me for many months now, a question that I ask myself virtually every day, who are the 'real' Iraqis? Doesn't the Iraq that I knew before the war, the inter-marriage and the friendships, mean anything? Isn't this just an unfortunate phase, encouraged by foreign intrusions, before we bounce back someday to our uniform Iraqiness?

The only really good thing about life under Saddam Hussein for me is that the presence of a brutal tyrant violently suppressed all those schisms, many people, including sadly, myself, would rather content themselves with living that miserable lie than realize the bitter and horrible truth of our disunity. A truth that had revealed itself slowly, but surely, that the kinship of sects is enormously more than just a religious banner or because of the brutal acts of Saddam Hussein ; it is who we really are, far back before the modern state of Iraq was created, it explains many things that were amazing to me when I saw them first unfold: how virtually all Sunnis, both Iraqi and Arab, ignored Saddam's brutality and rallied to turn him into a champion-martyr overnight, Because in the end, he is one of 'us.' The secular identification with Iraq, for instance, the one that I talked about loving here, isn't real ; it's what I want it to be, but it isn't real, that country tried hard to bring itself into being, but it failed, there is no such country, we might as well be talking about France or the Waq Waq Islands ; Yes, all Iraqis shed a big wet one about the vague idea of a "One Iraq," but when it comes to details, we all differ quite irrationally. This level of cultural identification slowly reveals itself to people who didn't even realize they have it, like my late atheist Shia friend from Kerbala, whom both him and I cushioned our increasing awareness of our sectarian identity with jokes back in 2006, it is the reason why many good Iraqis who believed that the issue was quite a simple one of human rights and democracy vs tyranny would find themselves surprisingly but inescapably subscribing to those 'tribal' emotions, it is the difference between your people and their people, you can find that sort of thing in many Iraqis, while most are careful not to show it but it comes out in one way or another in the end, good examples about this are Zeyad, Iraqi Mojo and, to a hopefully lesser extent, myself.

So now that we have established that the Sunni-Shia relation is not a common-ground-to-build-upon , it's rather an eat-or-be-eaten kind of thing.

Why?


"If pro-Iran parties or politicians dominate the new Iraqi government, a new "crescent" of dominant Shiite movements or governments stretching from Iran into Iraq, Syria and Lebanon could emerge, If Iraq goes Islamic republic, then we've opened ourselves to a whole set of new problems that will not be limited to the borders of Iraq." "Most of the Shiites are loyal to Iran, and not the countries they are living in."

Those quotes did not come from rabid Saudi Wahabbis or vengeful Iraqi Baathists, they are actually the direct quotes of two of the region's most-valued US secular allies, Jordanian King Abdullah and Egyptian president Mubarak, respectively.
These two quotes echo the sentiment of suspicion and outright repulsion that most of the Sunni Arab world views Shiism with, they are not just limited to religious differences, but is quite common among many seculars, like I have talked about earlier. So why exactly are the Sunnis have their panties so up in a bunch because of the Shia ascendancy? Doesn't the Shia have enough commonalities with us not to worry too much about this fuss?!

Sunnis accuse Shiites as being nothing but fifth columnists working for Iranian interests, as articulated by the brazen dismissal in Mubarak's quote. Why are Shias mercilessly insulted as being "Persian Saffavid agents" all the time from virtually all the Sunni Arab world?

Sunnis have a very self-centered explanation of how Shiism evolved, they bring out the usual soliloquy of the conspiracy theory and the evil jew, Abdullah bin Saba'a, to explain how the world was united against us from the beginning in a beautiful anti-semitic tapestry. Ali al-Wardi, who dismissed this ridiculous view, suggests an even more ridiculous one, perhaps affected by the Shiite version of conspiracy theory, he says that the Umayyad Caliph Muawiya tried to sow the seeds of discord between Umar and Ali. While Muawiya was a political genius, no man could quite set up such a devious plan and expect it to be carried out in such macabre detail long after he died, and why make up those cartoon-themed evil megaplots when there is a more rational, logical explanation to all this hoopla that agrees with the way human beings act facing an invasion that destroys their very civilization.

The only point I tried to make in my previous jittery post was the fact that Iranians, once rulers of a great civilization and domain, could not stand by just to see it all go away at the hands of people they held with the utmost inferiority. So when Shiism, a purely Arab resistance movement rose against the oppression of Umayyad monarchy, the Iranians leaped upon the chance to join the ranks of anything that opposed the rule of the invading Arabs, in the same way that the Ba'athists (and Sunnis in general) view the demolition of Saddam Hussein's regime, unjust and brutal as it was, as the end of their "rightful" dominance, even if they do not admit that ; in a sense, orthodox rule of the Caliphate was always attached to Sunnism, and opposition, whether rightful or mischievous, always moved under the guise of Shiism. There is no greater testimony to the statement than the fact that the Abbasids, after successfully assuming the mantle of the Caliphate, turned back on their Shia allies and became Sunnis themselves.

An important fact to notice that virtually all the fringe, gnostic and esoteric sects considered as extremist inventions by both Sunnis and Shias, including the Alawite present-day rulers of Syria, and the Carmathians, who hailed from what is today Saudi Shia regions, raided Mecca and adopted Persian customs of worship, all came from the womb of Shiism.

Another important detail is the fact that almost all the Shia areas in the world were part of the Persian kingdom at one point or another, such as Iran, Iraq, the Gulf, and Yemen. Even though Iran remained largely Sunni for centuries past until the rise of the Saffavids [x], Iran was the place most influenced and ripe for the ideas of Shiism more than any other place in the world, as Ayatollah al-Muntazeri says.

Perhaps an even important problem of being a Shia Arab is that you will view the entire history of the Arab-Muslim state not through pride, but oppression and injustice: every single prominent Arab Muslim is reviled by Shiism, from Umar bin al-Khattab (#51 on William Hart's The 100), to Harun al-Rashid and Saladdin.


It is in my belief then that the Shia-Sunni struggle is influenced in no small detail to the ethnic struggle between the Arabs and the Persians, the Persians, unlike other conquered nations, were a proud and mighty race, who were suddenly treated with inferiority they were not accustomed with, they worked their best to shape the religion that had been imposed upon them, and came out with a distinct identity that separated them from the rest of the Islamic world, allowing it to retain its uniqueness in one shape or another.

The Shias of today are oblivious to all that I have just said, they examine it with a heavy sense of spirituality and holiness that overrules any room for social or political explanations. And leaving all that aside and looking at the current affairs, the question that we must ask is: why SHOULDN'T the Shiites be loyal to Iran?

It is an understatement to say that the Sunnis have fought the Shiites in all the manners that they could, even their participation in the government is quite simply to obstruct political progress almost in all possible ways. Since the rise of the modern Arab nation-states, the Shias have been largely oppressed in the name of the Arab nation, with the identity of "Arab" and "Sunni" closely bonded together, not to mention, of course, the Shias own ideological stance which discourages political action until Imam Mahdi appears, a theory recently challenged by the rise of Vilayet al-Faqih (Deputy of Mahdi) in Iran.

If I was a Shia Arab, I would not hesitate to identify with Iran, which is ruled by a theocratic system based upon my precious beliefs, than I would with Arabs, the majority of whom do not follow my sect, and who view me with suspicion and send their sons to blow up my children and brothers. If anything, those attacks have further helped increase the rift between Arabs and Shias.

So, the Shias are bound to be loyal to Iran out of religious necessity, which is quite frankly the most vital constituent of kinship these days, in addition to the mutual lack of love from their Arab brethren, their identity is vastly different to the orthodox Arabs, and worst of all, Iran, like all theocratic nutcase movements, is expansionist, actively working to spread what it believes to be the divine truth and savior of mankind, it is the ultimate Shiite regional power, gee whiz, if I was Shia, where would I go?

Let me look at my own experience in that field, when I was first tackling those issues, I had a vague notion of Shiites as "people who don't eat Jirri fish and cry over Hussein." but after reading I realized that the differences are vastly more than simply that, the point that agitated me worst of all was, quite embarrassingly, the cursing of the companions ; yes that's right, this whole violent hatred is largely based on what these two sects think about people who died some 1400 years ago. I wouldn't mind flagellation or Mahdi or Mut3a marriage or any of that, but the cursing, lovingly propagated and cemented as a pillar of the Shiite faith by the Saffavids, is something that many orthodox Sunnis, whether obedient or non-practicing simply can't bear, the whole Shiite dogma focuses on the issue of victimization and the personification of those figures as pure evil. It is not just a matter of Sunnis insisting that a guy has black hair and Shias say he has yellow, it is about calling one's mom a bitch or not.

So how can we solve this problem in a manner that makes Shia Arabs acceptable to Sunnis yet enable them in the same time to retain their identity from Iran? Hasan al-Alawi, a former Baathist and a Shia opposition figure who fled Iraq since the 1980s and wrote many books criticizing the sectarian structure of government "Shia and Dawla Qawmiya" wrote a book called "Umar and Shiism," in which he tried to capitalize on a theme introduced by a major Iranian thinker, Ali Shariati, assassinted by Savak in 1975, by saying that the present mainstream Shia view of Umar, perhaps the only real obstacle between Shiism and Sunnism, was a theme that got picked on and propagated by Persian Saffavid nationalists. Of course, and as expected, those efforts were largely neglected and viewed with scorn by Twelver Shia, who looked on the effort as a Wahhabi-financed attempt to create tensions within the Shia community.

It is nice to find an article which can articulate and expand your thoughts better than you, here is a piece written by Mohammed Baqir, a Shia, on the website Kitabat.com:

"At the heart of all Iraq's problems is the duality of Sunni ambition and Shia worry, it is not a question of contradicting political agendas but is rather a politico-religious struggle that is distinctly sectarian, and has rallied support of many un-Islamic parties. At one side of this equation is a Sunni ambition to return to the days of old, an outright rejection of all the new realities, by the days of of old I mean not the Saddam regime, but the preceding eras of Sunni dominance, a fact supported by various sympathizing neighboring countries, as part of its perspective regarding historical claims of Iraq rule. This is especially felt from the stoic statements given by many Sunni Arabs, actually, their actions are a better mirror of that: Sunni parliamentary blocs curiously abstain from any projects or proposal that reflect an active participation and acknowledgment of the new order in a manner that reflect their desire to serve their voters through democratic means, save for the sectarian denomination system that reinstates sectarianism in the state through division of all posts between Sunnis, Shias and Kurds, in spite of the fact that Sunni Arabs is the component must audibly crying over the sectarianism of the new Iraq!!!! Second, the Sunni Arabs constantly oppose most bills and projects served by majority blocs, especially evident in the presidency where al-Hashimi executes his rights with unjustified stupor. Those reservations stem from their rejection of the new political reality which produced a Shia dominance.
The second dimension is the Shia anxious fear of not lasting in power for a long time, perhaps born out of psychological complexes bound to historical realities or worries about the changing dynamics of US under the pressure of the Arab lobby which does not favor this historical turn which had gave Iraq, with all its historical and religious legacy to an extraneous sect that is largely loyal to Iran, as stated by Egyptian president Hussni Mubarak. Shia are fearful of the diminishing of Iranian influence in Iraq, prominent Shiite politicians rely upon this influence greatly as it forms their repellent of Arab agenda which shall not sit back and watch developments in the interest of Shias for long.
This Arab disfavor of Shia had led to practices targeting Shia in which nationalists and Islamist agenda collaborated through political and/or military means against Shiites, in a way that actively contributed to the more hardline currents embracing justifications to diverge the Shiite path through constitutional means that may seem minor at first, by this we mean federalism.
Federalism was largely a political goal encouraged by audiences out of their conviction in the authority of its political elite. The Samarra incidents strongly ripped the social fabric, forming sectarian ghettos, this segregation led to the reduction of sectarian violence as a direct result of the lack of mingling between sectarian components.
Any observer of Iraq sees without doubt that division is a reality on the ground, only requiring to be recognized in a legal, constitutional facet, and federalism is perhaps the suitable frame in spite of the common belief that it is not an actual federalism but rather a polite inadvertent division. This course could be reversed in the occurrence of either of these three miracles:

1. A totalitarian military-styled government: An unlikely prospect, at least in the near future, due to the lack of any independent military organization detached from political discourse, in addition to the sectarian tensions and the presence of rogue militias, but most importantly the presence of occupation forces, which has sat back idly due to the complexity of the Iraqi scene, which is likely to remain ferociously intertwined for a very long time.
2. Sunni Arab minority acceptance of the new post-Saddam realities and formation of a new equation, also an unlikely outcome, as Sunni Arabs have been religiously attempting to restore things back to the way they were, an effort that we do not expect to see faltering anytime soon.
3. Concession of the Shiites to the rule of Sunni minority, supported by the idea that Shiites in general never did mind the dominance of Sunni rule in exchange for the respect of their rules and the respect of their freedom, a historically supported fact as Shiites never objected to the rule of Sunni minority because it is a minority ; perhaps this last statement is related to social, religious and psychological state of oppression and victimization that always made Shiites accepting of Sunni rule, as if it is a historical necessity. This can be perhaps taken seriously in the past, when Shiites did not have political movements, ideological parties, active militias, and a radical Shiite Islamist neighbor such as Iran, not to mention the fact that they are currently in power.

Although this article is obviously with a pro-Badr Shia slant, it contains many truths.

CONCLUSIONS:

1. Shia Arabs, for many historical, political, and ideological connotations, will never be embraced by the mainstream Sunni community as equally valid citizens, and vice versa.
2. The problem can only be solved if both sides make concessions: Shia Arabs must make more efforts to distance themselves from Iran and be more receptive to Arabs, a fact somewhat difficult to accomplish with adherence to one's religious beliefs, on the other hand, Sunnis must be willing to embrace them. [Highly unlikely on both fronts.]
3. The normal interaction between the two sects is suspicion.
4. Some Daydream Solutions:

* Everyone will be sick from religion (like I did) after a while and decide to play with Godlessness, if that fails, spray everyone with ATHEIST ACID.
* Nuke the Shia. (~Thanks, Dad.)
* Await for the return of Saddam's Son, our Mahdi (HAHAH, in your face!), who will complete the genocides of Anfal and 1991 and resurrect Hakim and Sadr (La3nat Allah 3alayhim) from their graves to kill them again, and then I can go back home and have some ice cream.
* Invite Hakim, Sadr, Dhari and Dulaimi to a party and whip out drugs and bitches so they can have a jolly good time and realize that we're all human.

The Shia Arab Question, Prologue

PROLOGUE

Azadi, The Persian Baathist

NOTE: Read this first and pretend the links don't exist, then read it with the links.

Glorious Persia,

How I have wished to live in you 200 years ago, under the rightful rule of the Sassanids, blissful in the abode of your lovely domains, I would choose to be anything, details are of no concern to me, let me be a lowly porter in the dirty streets of Shiraz, or a loyal servant of the royal chamber in Ctesiphon. What matters is that I would breathe in every minute the air of your magnificence, the eminence of your culture, that I hold my high high, basking in the power of your empire. The land of the Aryans, destined to rule the world, home of the proud and the noble Persians.

How grave is the insult, devastating the injury, then, to see your domain desecrated by those lizard-eating Bedouins, to see those uncivilized nomads, united in an inexplicable fashion, devouring your terrains and eradicating your legacy, how can I be calm when I see those people which we used to rule in [Iraq], Yemen and the [Persian] Gulf destroy the foundations of your beauty and rule, to see foolish peasants embrace their religion, sometimes welcoming them with wide open arms, celebrating what they claim is release from our tyranny and repression!?! How shameful, it is to see our own brave men abused and sold as second-hand slaves, our women and daughters kept as concubines and spoils of war, how much I had rejoiced at the death of their cursed head, Umar, by the patriotic martyr, Abu Lu'lu', they tried to pretend they came with equality, tolerance and respect in the eyes of their religion in the beginning, but their warped intentions soon became evident, the new rulers, the Umayyads, are actively disrespecting us, shunning us from all public posts and claim that this is the payback for the "inequality" that we used to treat them with, those uncouth scum! We treated them with more than they deserve in the first place, but this is how the vermin Arabs repay kindness, scum remains scum.

Persia,

For many centuries your enemies have surrounded you from all sides, since time immemorial you have been destroyed a thousand times, many times had they tried, from Alexander the Terrible and his barbarians in the north, to this army of darkness, but you have always managed to come back again, stronger, more powerful, and with a greater sense of pride and duty than ever before, never shall we surrender to the swords of the Barefoots, and now the chance is ripe, now the bounty is at hand ; now it all comes to head, Hussein bin Ali has been killed, now his sympathizers and kin are angry and regretful, even people who were fooled by the Arabs are quickly realizing their gross mistake, everyone is intent on attaining freedom again, and we, of all nations, plan to strike back, the idea of revolution is quickly finding ground all over your lovely terrains, the Arab domain is collapsing, their dynasty is rife with turbulence, and Abu Muslim al-Khurasani is now rallying your dedicated citizens for the great cause, we shall fight them everywhere, and we shall never surrender, and soon Persia would be alive again, its language, its culture, its greatness, are all immortal and will never be gone ; it may be different, but one way or another, Persia will live on.

Your Son,
Azadi.

عمر بشكست پشته هجبران عجم را برباد فنا داد رگ وريش جم را
اين عربده وخصم خلافة زعلي نسيت با آل عمر كينه قديم أست عجم را
*
ميت و المعزيات موش امهاته
ما يبجن على المات يبجن شماته

70 year Old Iraqi Cheerleader (Gulf Cup 2007)

There are only two things in this life that makes me proud of being an Iraqi, one of them is the national football team. The above is a classic moment that every Iraqi should see, it is on par with Othman al-Obaidi.
Another thing which made me cry is the reaction of this beautiful Iraqi woman after we lost to Saudi Arabia in the Gulf Cup, when you look at this, you realize how beautiful was the win in the Asian Cup.

I love Iraq.

al-Qaeda's recent attack using two mentally disabled women isn't something new. They have used dogs, donkeys, bicycles, and a mentally disabled child before.

Konfused Kid Makes A Fatwa

فقد روى الصدوق عن علي بن أسباط قال: "قلت للرضا -عليه السلام-: يحدث الأمر لا أجد بداً من معرفته، وليس في البلد الذي أنا فيه من أستفتيه من مواليك؟ قال: فقال: ائت فقيه البلد فاستفته في أمرك، فإذا أفتاك بشيء فخذ بخلافه فإن الحق فيه" (عيون أخبار الرضا 1/275 ط. طهران

The above is a narration taken from a book called Ouyon Akhbar al-Ridha, translation is:

al-Sudooq narrated on the authority of Ali bin Isbaat: "I asked al-Ridha (8th Shia Imam): Should something arises and I am clueless as to how to act, and there is no one in the country that I reside of your [Shia] folowers? And he replied: Go to the [Sunni] cleric of your country and tell him of your problem, should he answer you something, then do its opposite, for that is the correct thing to do."

In the same rather mischievous spirit, I declare the following fatwa:

Mozilla bin Firefox narrated, on the authority of Blogger.com that Konfused Kid (Peace be upon Him, Blessed be his soul, his sole, and the shit that comes out of his asshole)

If, in the Iraqi Blogosphere, you write something, and these guys agree with you, immediately reconsider what you have written with deep suspicion, for that is the correct thing to do.


Allahum Ini Ballaghat, Allahuma Fa-Ashhad.

Travesty of Human Thinking

Adages are so useless practically ; everyone memorizes them and loves to quote them, but they rarely succeed in the practical field, in enlightening the masses, and rather awfully, the masses, after listening intently for the short duration the adage is read upon them, return to the same corrupt ways.

Ali al-Wardi narrates this adage in his seminal book 'Mahzalat al-Aqil al-Bashari' (Travesty of Human Thinking), it is about two knights who are observing a pyramid from two opposite sides, unfortunately, each face of the pyramid is colored differently, so one of them sees the pyramid as green, and the other sees it blue, both men are indignant at having been proven wrong, and they are soon engaged in endless combat.

As you can see, it is rather lame reworking of the Six Blind Men and The Elephant, but its essence is of such significance that I would care to apply it now, with the help of two Iraqi bloggers to establish what happens when humans refuse to look at things except from their own perspective, which is of course half-right, but ultimately wrong and misleading.

On the left side of the pyramid we have Iraqi Mojo, an educated Iraqi-American, Iraqi Mojo does not hide his identification from the beginning, a Shia who fled after his family has been persecuted during the times Saddam was pursuing Dawa party members. Iraqi Mojo says he has no homicidal hatred of Sunnis, as he says when he met Sunni Arabs, the way you would speak when you explore a new species in the Amazons: "I have met Sunni Arabs and they are really nice." That's quite lovely of him, but even though Mojo occasionally talks about Muqtada al-Sadr's antics or his lack of love for Shia theocracy, they don't seem to be much of his concern, he rarely posts about them, if at all. For the curious American bystander who is curious to learn about how to get the hell out of Iraq, Iraq's problem, viewed through his blog is one long wail against the solitary horrors and evils of al-Qaeda, Wahhabiya, Saudi Arabia, the Arab Jarab (a term he often uses) and just about everything else you would expect a self-respecting Shia to hate, either intentionally or not, and all of which are, incidentally, the evil creations of the same very nice Sunni Arabs brothers.

And on the other side of the pyramid lies Twenty Four Steps To Liberty, I'm not exactly sure about his background, I've met him during the Iraqi Bloggers lone meet-up back in 2006 and he seemed like a pleasant fellow, what happened since then? beats me! While Mojo is at least a bit subtle, his point indirectly unfolded through links, 24's blog is fast approaching Layla Anwar-standards of rabid frothing as we speak. According to 24, all we need to do is unseat the evil, sectarian, IRANIAN IRANIAN IRANIAN puppet government of Maliki, supported by the stupid, evil Ayatollah Sistani (who is Shia, as you and I know), and everything will be automatically Plug and Play, maidens will dance, children will smile, music will play, and the hero would kiss the girl as the sun happily sets between the two ancient rivers, cue to credits, A FILM WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Twenty Four Steps To Liberty, (subtitle: Fuck Iran)

and here, friends and neighbors, is the problem of the Iraqi people in a nutshell, both sides are holier-than-thou know-it-all who blame everything on the other evil, world-domination-type side, rightfully justifying their own bloody massacres in the extent. Neither are willing to even stop and consider if the other side has anything to say, neither are willing to seek a form of compromise for pursuing a somewhat co-dependent relationship. This is especially complicated of course with the unfortunate case of different religions (forget sects, Sunni Islam and Shia Islam are entirely different religions), and religion is the most powerful brain-washing force of all time, as both sides are especially inclined to dismiss the other's viewpoints as fabrications, either willingly or not.

So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean;
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

We can apply this wonderful parable to everything, let us take Saddam Hussein for instance, today, apologists would say, as they are saying all over the place, that Khomeini's first objective after securing his foothold was to help establish a similar regime in Iraq itself, through the willing hands of Shiite clergy like Sadr and al-Hakim, a fact Khomeini himself had reiterated over and over again. In this context, the clash was not sectarian in essence, but that was an additional motif to the eternal battle between Secularism and Theocracy, hereby, the Dawa party and their aides were in fact the aggressors, since a clash was inevitable, Saddam attempted to preemptively strike Iran while it was in disarray, already an attractive target with its huge oil reserves, and so, from a purely Iraqi POV, and according to the Survival laws of Darwin, Saddam Hussein is a very heroic figure who tried to elevate his country's stature and power in the region.

That of course ignores a lot of important details, Saddam was a megalomaniac whose lip extended a lot more than his bite ever would, couple that with an extraordinary amount of self-importance and ego, visions of greatness (same as present-day Iran's), an inferiority complex towards Jamal Abdulnassir, and a quick-tempered sword that has not even the tiniest remorse for human beings, and you get your picture a lot bit better. Of course, Shia-Kurds wouldn't look at him this way, for them he is a cartoonish sectarian warmonger with a devout intent on decimating everything in his way.

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Parliament Approves Interim New Iraqi Flag (constantly updated)

I have nothing to do today and snow is eating up Amman today. So I'll just this post as things progress.

The Kurds did it, the Iraqi parliament today approved a new interim design to be approved for one year with a majority of 110 out of 275, 100 MPs were absent from the session. The new flag drops out the stars only.


By the way, the "Allah" in this flag looks suspiciously similar to Allah in this flag:


Supposedly, the three stars represent the three Ba'ath Party slogans: Unity, Freedom and Socialism, in reality, the stars reflect those of Egypt and Syria at the time, Iraq yearned to be the third state to join the United Arab Republic (whose flag was an exact replica with only two stars) - Maybe Saddam changed it later to the Ba'athi slogans, but that doesn't matter now, the only thing that matters is that the Kurds had their say and strutted their stuff.

The news is all over the satellite channels, Iraq's supposedly best channel, al-Shariqya, had an item that tried hard not to puke all over, it showed its intention laughably with the closing line: "All the countries of the regions have stars or crescents in their flags, except Iran." Talk about professionalism!

More Iraqi Flags

Maybe we should turn this into another silly internet meme, like lolcats. meet:



After the fiery Iraqi blogodrome discussion, in which a casual Laith showed his fears of religious slogans, only to be almost devoured by our tamed fundamentalist resident blogger, we all came to the conclusion that the best Iraqi flag is this:




After all, Good old Greendizer is really loved by all Iraqis, even the fake ones, mu baba?




Here's another one I created, inspired by stickers put by Iraqi Kia drivers:




A very old joke, I'm sorry most of these great jokes cannot be translated:



Hehehehe. I'm sorry, Mr. Flag, it's just that we can't leave you alone for a few years.


YA RLY! This one is pretty much stale now, but I included it for the sake of completeness:

The New Iraqi Flag

The recent development in Iraqi parliamentary hell was the second major attempt to pass up a change for the Iraqi flag an national anthem, after the major failure of the 2004 attempt. As suspected, the instigators of this move is yet again, our lovely northern brothers, the Kurds. As a minor compromise solution, an interim design will be approved until a final decision will be made on the final flag and the new national anthem a year later, details are still hazy, and numerous suggested interim flags have appeared on the net, but most prominently the one that only changes the phrase "Allah Akbar" to yellow, the traditional color of the Kurds.

When the new 2004 flag was presented, like many other people, the flag felt strangely alien and removed from me, it boldly dispensed with the traditional Pan-Arab colors (red, green, white, black) which compose most Arab flags, to add insult to injury, it employed a palette that bore a close resemblance:



Same as many other people, I did not understand why a need to change the flag was even necessary ; it never struck me as a symbol for anything but Iraq alone, and it was also a damn good flag.
But then I read the history of the Iraqi flag, it is apparently the most unstable flag of the Arab world, changing for four times, and each time, the change coincided with the installation of a new, radically different political system. It started in 1921 with the traditional Arab revolution Hashemite flag, only different from Jordan's by one star, through Qassim's communist period (some people still use this flag in forums), into the traditional horizontal-stripes red-white-black Pan-Arab flag adorned by the Ba'ath party.
With the realization that the Iraqi flag is not a sacred symbol as I expected it to be, I rationally concluded that, in order to entirely proclaim the beginning of a new chapter, then a new flag reflecting that change in Iraq must also be set in order. I must say however, that this change got as far as my brain, my heart was still beating auricle and ventricle under the banner of the old flag, and it's really hard to come up with a flag that can express Iraq as part of its Arab universe but still indicate the supposedly "bright change" that is to come.

And then I began to consider other factors:

1. the only people who are actively seeking the retirement of the old flag and who hate it with all its gut are, unsurprisingly, the secessionist-dreaming Kurds, who are still dreaming their little chauvinistic Pan-Kurdish pipe dreams while we the Arabs, the ones who messed around with those Pan things and failed a century before them can now enjoy this black comedy as they follow exactly the footsteps of our miserable fuck-ups, worse yet, they can't seem to even find the first step.

2. The majority of Iraq, even the Shias, who have suffered intolerably under Saddam's Iron Moustache, do not look upon the flag as an extension of that hateful persona. Why? Because, slowly and surely, the realization began to form in my mind, that this flag represents Iraq. After all, this is not a Baathist flag ; it is an ARAB flag, more precisely, it is a Pan-Arab flag: Egypt and Yemen, both non-Baathist countries, bear the same design.

3. The nation-state of Iraq is only 75 years old, it has no traditional flags it can revert to (like Germany and Russia did after the collapse of Nazism and the USSR respectively) except the Pan-Arab revolution flag which is based on traditional Arab-Islamic flags, our current flag also holds the same colors, except it's much more kick-ass.

4. Building on point number 3, and taking into consideration that the current flag has been used for 40 years, more than the period any other flag had been used (the runner-up Hashemite flag was used for 25 years), this flag can be considered to have seeped comfortably into the public consciousness to attain a rightful claim to a flag that everybody agrees upon as representative of Iraq alone.

5. MOST IMPORTANTLY, Any flag, regardless of how beautiful or reflective it is, born under those miserable circumstances Iraq is passing through, will be first and foremost a representation of those conditions before anything else, and thus will be reviled, detached and despised by the very people it is supposed to rally.



Hence we conclude that this flag is a valid foundation upon which only minor additions may suffice for a change, if at all.

And also we conclude that the only reasons by which a person can diligently hate this flag beyond reason, like our brothers the Kurds do, is

1. your absolute intolerance of Arabism or Iraqism.
2. Your indifference to how much problems the change of the flag would cause because you are all you care about is your own little mountainous kingdom *hint hint*
3. The only patriotic pretext for hating this flag would be your legal right to hate Pan-Arabist movements, one of which was the Ba'ath Party. BUT this is negated by #4 above.

That and that alone. Of course, the Kurds have the right to determine their destiny, but if they wish to remain part of Iraq, they must tolerate its holiest icon, okay, let us be the generous ones here, we already know that you Kakas hate Iraq, but since our envisioning for a new, better chapter of Iraq would be a better representation of its more overlooked constituents, we might tolerate a reflection of your 17% presence on the flag, but not, of course, in the center, what do you think this is? I think a better idea is to put you as footnotes, or margins, like this:




The Iraqi parliament is holding a competition to choose the new flag, but did they ever consider a referendum to see if people wanted to change the flag?! maybe I should submit my brilliance...
This website (Arabic) contains many submissions for a new Iraqi flag from all over the world, they range from crayon crazy to helplessly romantic (Doves and hearts?! What is this, Snow White?), click the links to the left of the website to see them.
One of the interesting symbols I've seen in that site is the 'Babylonian Sun', this might be a good thing to put instead of the three stars, a remnant of the days Iraq was the potential '3rd state' to join the United Arab Republic after Egypt and Syria (afterwards, their meaning was changed to the Ba'ath Party slogan: Unity, Freedom and Socialism.)




Look a bit too much like Egypt, but then again they all look alike, when I was in Syria I kept thinking why the hell are they hoisting our flag everywhere?!

All in all, the issue is quite preposterous, and is only raised up because our BROTHERS (aargh) the Kurds, want to show us how strong they've become, quite indifferent to the hellhole all of Iraq has become, so as Shalash al-Iraqi said to Mes'ood Barazani the day he lowered the Iraqi flag from Kurdish soils: If you don't see us from your high mountains, then we don't see you as well.

Review: Pride of Baghdad

In 2003, four lions escaped Uday's private zoo, they were shortly killed afterwards by US troops. The incident took its short lifetime in the news, the sort of trivia to dumb down the war just a little bit before disappearing to join similar anti-depressant news that only lightens things down a minute away from the usual refrain of pounding morbidity.
Thankfully for the rest of the world, that story caught the attention of writer Brian K. Vaughan.
Of course, if it wasn't for the fact that this was set during the Iraq war, I wouldn't have even bothered ; I'm not a comics fan, and like Shooting War,the major elements that compose Pride of Baghdad are all tried and tested, after all, an epic story about anthropomorphic lions was all the rage back then when Simba tried to reclaim his father's kingdom back in 1991. Why, then, is this story one of the best things I have ever read?

Upon tackling an issue as grand as war, novels with an all-encompassing altitude often end up as the victim of their own ambition. Vaughan clearly understands this, and he limits our view of the war-torn Baghdad to the puzzled lions of the Baghdad zoo, don't be fooled by the choice of heroes, Simba and Mufasa are as close to this pride as 60s campy Batman was to The Dark Knight Returns, from the get-go, and amidst the frenzy caused by the US bombing, a giraffe beckons the old gods and then gets her neck cut open by a falling missile which quickly sets the tone of an uncompromising end-of-the-worlds apocalyptic mess, there are so many things to recommend about this book, but its strongest asset is that it completely dispenses of uninformed political statements, it is at its most distilled a straightforward story of a family's survival, which favors a universal approach other than burdensome commentary, that is not to say those lions aren't subliminally political, but they aren't as embarrassingly obvious as the film version of 300 like hastily attached deformities, there are causal throwaway one-liners about the price of freedom, well embedded in the story which is in itself so good that you hardly see them as little more than complementary dialog most of the time. The story is particularly well helped by a sense of doomsday urgency and massive exploration and fascination, particularly the discovery of ordinary constructions of human beings, who are insignificant if not incomprehensible here, most of all, the writers know that first and foremost, a story must move the readers before everything else, the visuals are incredible as well, bringing a magnificent majesty through Miko Henrichon's rendering of war-torn Baghdad elevate the otherwise standard-fare constituents of the story into more than the sum of its parts. Like any good song, the book succeeds in working on multiple layers simultaneously, that by the time this roller-coaster ride of a book comes to a close to its brutally inevitable climax, the creators build up strong emotional rapport between the reader and the lions just to the right point where they take it all down, I was completely mesmerized on various different levels, the abrupt finality, rendered in an unforgettable frame, registered to my memory the thoughts of many Iraqis, sprung from their cages, clueless but fighting with all their struggle to save themselves and their loved ones, Iraqis who were killed with such inadvertent simplicity, in complete denial of their humanity and all that they've been through, it was such a powerful moment, both in the straightforward lion and the allegorical cost of war sense, that rendered me visibly shaken for a long moment.
It is clear that such a powerful work of art cannot be easily followed, and Mr. Vaughn has every right to bask in his triumph as much as he can, as Pride of Baghdad makes almost perfect use of its medium's aesthetics to create the unexpected war story that lays down the cost of war at its most engrossing and harrowing, it succeeds on all fronts and fulfills every ambition. A must read.

Review: Shooting War

This webcomic-turned-graphic novel about the Iraq War follows the misadventures of vlogger Jimmy Burns, after a freak coverage of an explosion in New York places him at the forefront of shock journalism, he is hired by an exploitative news network and sent to Iraq, where he finds himself submerged in a cesspool of "Jesus and Jihad maniacs" left and right.

I have heard of this one casually on TV, and I have so far read the unedited free eleven chapters online on the website, as an Iraqi, I came naturally expecting some gloss oversights in the depiction of my beloved Mesopotamia, after all, the comic would most likely not try to burden its intended audience with unnecessary details about the culture and nature of the conflict, and this being a comic book, exaggeration and tampering in favor of action and excitement is the norm, right?

Wrong. First of all, this is not a comic book ; it's a graphic novel. And graphic novels as such, exemplified by the Pulitzer-winning standards set forth by Art Spiegelman's Maus, stem from the their ability to present somber realism in an abstract perspective, indeed, the Iraq war is not devoid of elements worthy of a frenzy "clusterfuck" narration as the comic calls it, but rather unfortunately, this novel fails on the single most important area where it could count.

Like many tongue-in-cheek works about war (think Joe Haldeman's The Forever War), the only dialog this novel knows is one steeped in deadpan humor, the depiction of "Greenest Place of all of Muhammed's Green Earth" is dystopia as best as it can get, there are a lot of interesting depictions of developments in blogging, media, American presidency (John McCain), and Tom Cruise's personal life, this is all well and dandy so far.

Unlike the guys who wrote this comic, I've reserved an hour and researched them, the Internet says that Anthony Lappe, the main showrunner, claims he drew upon his experiences while he worked in the Iraq war zone, one thing's for sure, this Lappe guy doesn't get out much ; for a novel that's supposed to cut the bullshit to a minimum, this effort is laughable. Okay, so I might be willing to forgive the stereotypical condescending portrayal of every Iraqi with a traditional attire like some Gulf country, hell, even the commonplace Hollywod insult will go by me just fine ("Ice is civillization", declared proudly by the uber-cool Burns to a poor Iraqi receptionist, only he's wearing a Pakistani outfit :) ), add to that the only good Iraqi character is the educated Westernized woman, another ancient "compromise" character right out of the "hey, I didn't say you're all bad"; but this "scary smart" novel started to make me laugh for all the unintended reasons at the horribly ignorant and contrived plot ; apparently, as soon as he sets foot in Iraq, our hero is kidnapped by a terrorist group near Anbar, called the Swords of Muhammed, led by Che Guevara with a Keffiyeh, your run-of-the-mill megalomaniac ultra-villian, this is all okay, except for one huge error ; this group is Shiite! Har Har, okay, let's forgive this minor slip for the sake of the general drive, but by the time you are bombared by lines such as : "The Badr militia is going to target the Green Zone with Qassam rockets." You start to question the intelligence of all those comments that praise this "real as it gets" drama, okay, I'll be even more considerate of your South Carolina Teen ideas about the world and would accept all this if there was any good story in sight, but there's nothing here you haven't seen before, the only appeal of this story lies at its ability to depict reality, when you see that it's nothing but a random exploitation of current events written by somebody who clearly knows nothing about the topic, you only sigh and wonder if Americans will ever learn from their mistakes, this comic clearly commits the same error Dubya and his hungry compatriots it so loathes did, it think it knows everything. If that's all not bad enough, it is clearly Islamophobic, what is there to say about a comic which believes that both Shia and Sunni Muslims are a single monolithic entity that so feverishly wants to spread its religion over the evil West so that every woman and child are part of its holy jihad. Indeed, those stereotypes were as much contributed to by our beloved terrorists than it did by the west, but you'd hope for something much more real from this "all-out" novel than frustrated Sunni Moroccans recruited from France to carry out an operation for the Shiite Badr brigade with Iranian passports?! okay, so they are really part of the Swords of Muhammed group, unfortunately, that one is Shia too, and it operates in Anbar and condemns the massacres of Haditha, Najaf, and Falluja. So much for your clever twist, and novel.

Konfused Kid Abandons Heavy Metal

In a shocking turn to his fans, Iraqi Konfused Kid, formerly known as Iraqi Konfused Kollege Kid a.k.a The Kid Himself decided to officially declare the end of almost six years of bone-crunching, fist-pumping, devilless-worshipping devotion to heavy metal.



It has been six years since that fateful day when The Kid, at that time a lonely, reserved misfit whose existence was largely supported by video games and Eminem, heard that ominous call, there was no magnificence in that moment, it was actually a boring evening and The Kid was flat on his ass checking out the new cassette he recorded at the nearby Radio1 shop, but at that moment when "No Leaf Clover" came bursting out the seams of his cheap Chinese player, that he felt like an ancient prophet in a cave.

After that, The Kid's mindset was completely captivated by the magnificence, power and intelligence this form of music can evoke in one's being ; little did he know it, but at that period of his life, he actually worshiped Heavy Metal, and NOT in a metaphorical sense of the word, all his existence was more or less devoted to that obsession, he saw in those drug-addicted, half-naked school dropouts the pinnacle of human evolution and development ; often did he sit late at night, pondering like a historian over manuscripts at their lyrics, carefully trying to "understand" the concise interpretation of this lyric and that, the epic, dark compositions uplifted his spirit and gave him meaning. In fact, unconsciously he believed that the juxtaposition of music and words in such a fashion unlocked a dangerous magic of its own that can only be felt and understood by those devoted followers, from this logic, he considered those rare specimen who agreed with his ways, whom he met during high school as especially enlightened human beings, who had managed to see beyond the usual range of short-sighted men, those men would simply label these highly powerful creations as 'a garbled mess that has nothing to do with music', The Kid knew of those people deviated ways for he had lived upon them for 17 long years, reveling in disgust at their stupidity and 'uneducated animality', he had seen their corrupt, idiotic music about love and butterflies, formless and odorless, and yet another facet of their inferiority, he loathed their attraction to the simple and benign and treasured the complex essence of the truth he had harnessed and uncovered in those magnificent manifestations of the divine. Often did he and his compatriots talk about forming circles to practice the faith, but he was often disappointed in his colleagues, for sometimes he thought that except for their admiration for this music, they were still the savage inferior beasts he saw everywhere, and that they did not hold the key of the knowledge of this great realm like he did. Undeterred, he silently upheld his new faith and tried secretly to flourish within the confines of his society. He had no money to buy a holy instrument, so he secretly practiced his faith passively behind locked doors, he loathed headbanging, which he considered to be an extremist invention that had harmed the faith more than it benefited it and led many common people to shy away from it in disgust, instead, he preferred to air-guitar his emotions while making performer poses and creepy faces, often fantasizing himself to be in the center of whatever social unit he was part of at the time, Singing 'The Wait' in his schoolyard, or fingerpicking 'The Call of Ktulu' in the living room, in those fits of fantasy, students of the school would gaze in awe, and his family would water their eyes, everyone would bow to his greatness and testify to his superiority. He would then sleep comfortably while analyzing the subliminal intentions of the complex faux-pop songs of Soundgarden, before waking up to another tasteless school day where he served as a nondescript entity in a world he felt he did not belong to.

From his youth, The Holy Kid had perceived hints of what was to come, at six years old, when The Kid was still held by his family to be some sort of tortured genius, when he could have told you the capital of any country and the number of days it took Hitler to invade any European country one by one, The Kid has often wondered, for no reason at all, if his playmates were some sort of robots, who were programmed to think and feel in the same predictable emotions, the faith of Heavy Metal came to confirm those theories about the inherent stupidity of those people, and increase his longing for a holy hijra to the promised lands he often saw in television screens.

Years passed and The Kid graduated, having devolved from a child prodigy into a plain and unremarkable dude, more plagued by his supposedly miscast nature than anything else, he joined college, determined to convert as many as he possibly could, into his new philosophy, he had crystallized his teachings in a simple leaflet, and he termed it 'F.T.W.", his determination paid through somewhat, for after years living as a misfit, he seems to have picked up, quite inadvertently, something of human social conduct, and for perhaps the first time in his life since his teenage depression, The Kid found himself to be truthfully enjoying his presence among the ignorant population of his perimeters. He had gained a few converts on the path of truth, and believing his happiness to be stemming from that blessed foundation, he continued in that path unabashed. Yet still, in that warped form of thinking, The Kid was still believing on some level that there are better, more 'educated' human beings out there and he often longed to meet them.

However, by 2006, the actual spell-binding aura which had protected him all these years had slowly faded away, the holy incantations did not move him like they once did, but he relentlessly listened to them in an attempt to bolster his faith, believing this to be a minor lapse, shaking away whatever childish demons that tried to manipulate him, unfortunately, it felt today like a regular routine with no emotions, he now had the means to procure a holy instrument, and be bought three of the blessed tools, thinking that the time had finally come to spread the doctrines into the unsuspecting hordes, to rescue them from the vile clutches of the satanic devils of Arabic pop music.

Laugh not, for The Kid genuinely believed this crap as intensely as it is shed here, he just did not know how religiously he believed in it. It was his driving passion, during boring lectures, he was found of creating setlists for imaginary live shows, he was forever obsessed with the correct order of songs in order to persuade the heathens into the true word of the divine.
But as 2006 drove on, more and more did The Kid find himself more suffocated than liberated by his faith, the search for new items always proved disappointing, both the new and old music he tried to explore he found to be rather lame attempts to sound glorious and evil, most of the bands only had a handful of good songs, barely fitting an album, and by now it had become something of a joke, a ritualistic practice that regulated one's conformity to nonconformity without any true quality of its own, like a failed Pan-Arab revolution ; you like this? then YOU MUST like this, or else you suck! Unfortunately, The Kid cannot pin down an exact moment when he said: "That's it, this is just too ridiculous! But it can be narrowed down to the following moments: The moment when his fellow friend snatched The Kid's holy instrument and played an Arabic medley of the sort The Kid looks upon with aristocratic disfavor, but to his own amazement, it appeared to him for the first time to have a magical shape of melody and it took him to those faraway mental escapes....maybe it was the fact that The Kid couldn't play shit at that time, anyway, this small bit took The Kid into a re-examining of traditional Iraqi songs, apparently an easy way to get people's attention instead of numbing their heads with chugga-chugga, this little oriental piece proved to be quite a decisive Trojan horse later.

But most importantly of all, it was The Kid's first foray at playing with dedicated musicians, there were two of them, the bassist was a weird, but overall okay person. but the lead guitarist, Teez (his real name), was another story. Teez was supposedly Iraq's self-proclaimed 2nd greatest guitarist of all-time (the first being Saad Zai), Teez was like The Kid's musical aspiration taken to extremes, a very idiosyncratic, egotistical person who apparently sucked at everything but playing guitar, and because of this very perceived insecurity, Teez used to insult and mock everyone whenever he could in order to be assured of his prowess. Teez was especially unbearable, and The Kid, now less unsocial and with friends and some girl to talk to late at night, found him to be rather a chore and a model of a human being he was afraid he would become. He loathed Teez, and with this realization, he loathed even more the archetype of the Iraqi 'mattalla' community and its trappings. Another practitioner of the faith, a girl who was even more devoted than himself and into black metal, which we could call 'Sufi Metal' shit, actually got married to another heavy metaller just because he was into the same shit more or less, having been a witness of the hollowness of those petty lives ; it was then that The Kid realized that those 'uber-human' people he dreamed about were nothing but imaginary, like the myth of the Mahdi, and that everybody is more or less quite ordinary ; if anything, those misfits he was one of were as remote as anyone from attaining a higher experience of life, it was more like an amateur venting of frustration that eased itself out through music instead of the way Osama bin Laden or the Virginia Tech killer would do it. If anything, those idiotic animals we held in contempt were having a richer, more realistic life than this denial.

With the death of his friends, and his growing interest in politics and religion, The Kid began to read less English and more Arabic, amazingly, the Arabic culture DID turn out to be capable of producing the intelligence, wit and imagination that he so respected and thought unique of Western culture, this reflected on everything of the Kid's behavior, he stopped wearing stupid rock/tanta clothes, began reading Arabic poetry and history, and music-wise, he is now dancing to the same music he found years before to be tasteless and inane, as a matter of fact, whenever an English-speaking song comes about on his play list, he immediately skips it, mentally commenting on its inability to possess the soulful, melismatic qualities of Eastern music. Sighing at the thought of all those leather-pant-dreaming western-wannabes who think they know something.

The moral of this story is that everything taken to extremes is bad, yes you might like something passionately and that's cool, but don't read too far into it, as it puts you in a warped plane of reality that is more often not really the be-all end-all you think it is, Here I only liked loud dark music, which doesn't hurt anyone necessarily, but still, thank God it wasn't something like religion or race.

To give you an example of how my life depended on Rock, here is a piece I wrote in my wee-years in 2002, about the song which I still consider the song that affected me most in all my lifetime, No Leaf Clover, compare it to this article I recently discovered which looks with the same academic analysis and fascination at an Arabic song, apparently, there are maniacs found for almost everything! The idea I'm trying to say here is that Your God can be found in everything, and one should really respect other people's beliefs no matter how inferior they sound to you, for you could end up liking them one day, and if you asked me right now, I'd say that this woman is the greatest singer in the world.


*****

NO LEAF CLOVER, Metallica.
Written by James Hetfield/Lars Ulrich
Reviewed by The Kid in 2001-2002
NOTE: You might not understand a lot without listening to the song (YouTube link to the left) first.

*REVIEW BEGINS*

This is probably the foremost fusion of words and music I have ever heard in my whole short life. Never has a song offered such power, emotion, and atmosphere as this one. While lyrically the composition is vague and daunting, with such everyday indistinguishable words, the mirroring of their ideas into the music is what makes Clover totally mind-blowing, the song was performed only once in 1999 in a live show with a SYMPHONY, Metallica wanted to demonstrate that their music owe a lot to orchestrated detail and this one is the prime example of their complex emotional treatment. The song is intended as mourning for the death of a wild, careless human. After a good intro from the symphony that introduces the main riff, the song really starts by James playing a creepy arpeggio figure played on a clean electric guitar, while the symphony coats him with a vivid, Swan Lake-like impression, which puts across a very serene, angelic, and mysterious atmosphere. In what is one of scariest sudden-shock experiences the whole environment is turned upside down by a thundering electric guitar with only a split second of transition between it and the previous calamity, ensuring a devastating back-to-life effect that is both cynical and crushing. In the same moment, rumbling Tambourines underscores the effect, to create a march that eventually reaches conclusion with a loud snare/cymbal crack from Lars Ulrich's drums, the last note is made even more haunting by a short epic horn play, it gives the impression of a vicious resurrection of a sudden mystic power, like the visceral awakening of a slumbering, long-forgotten evil. All this happens in only three seconds, which shows the depth and the understanding of Michael Kamen (the symphony conductor), immediately after this short 'transition' the music ferociously recite the verse riff (NOT the main riff), a heavy riff with a sort of a military seriousness to it, after a full bar James Hetfield comes on the vocal, in a melody that is both wailing and sadly mourning, the sort of reaction you'd expect from a mother who's throwing fits over the dead son, he sings in high-pitched, multi-layered shots : 'And it feels right this time'. The first verse mainly resembles the youth's life, with the loud, dense collaboration of rock and classical furiously ensuing the heating, blazing atmosphere of a wild life revisited in retrospective. The mourner then proceeds to shout some of life's best virtues, in cynical, agonized bites laid together in an abrasive, animal satisfaction and simplicity 'and it feels right this time/ on this crash course feel the big time! /pay no mind to the distant thunder/beauty fills his head with wonder, boy' stating the viewpoint of that said careless individual. When he reaches the verse's end 'Good day to be alive he says' he increases his intensity on the last syllable of 'says' while the symphony proceeds to lift up, then the vocal echoes to create a sort of a dissolving effect as the guitars slow down, the spirit of life is suddenly faltered, and vanishes in a puff of smoke, out of which silently the haunting guitar line of the introduction is reintroduced while James Hetfield leaks the sadness he's conjured in a low-pitch mumble, you could actually see how wild life decomposed into the nothingness implied by this chorus, which is even made more touching by the line : 'Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel / was just a freight train coming your way' It means that the distant, unclear thing up ahead of your life which you have not paid much attention to is basically the much-dreaded end, coming towards you in immeasurable speed, at the same time James pulls out an evocative vocal delay on 'way' the symphony menacingly rises up again, and a soft, assured kick drum then proclaims the impact moment, it's as if this slow moving, giant and inevitable slab of fate hits yet another piece of clay on its never-ending travel, easily plucking it away from the frail roots it had fermented earth with. James repeats the chorus line with percussion and a more refined angelic surrounding, with Jason Newsted's bass remorsefully throbbing a few reflective notes before the whole set is pulled back to the pit again, this time the lyrics deal with outcome of the man's mindless life and where it had led him: 'Does it feel right like this?/ All the pieces fall to his wish!' the 'his' in here is either a tribute to God, meaning that eventually everything happens according to God's will, or the other way around, stating that Devil finally got you and all the things he fed you with finally worked, probably the latter is more accurate as in the next line he blames the deceased for his easy trickery into life's 'quick reward', which, however, could imply God's reproach or devil's denial. After another repetition of the chorus, James struts a bit on the warning line 'It's coming your way', all this, however diminishes when compared with the song's bloody climax: After having Kirk Hammett (lead guitarist) play the silent intro guitar distorted –which creates a sort of a bottled suffering, with James's guitar behind descending into minor keys- the song then reaches the final point, undeniably the best part of the whole song, while at the surface the tension is mercilessly released with an out-of-control Hetfield frantically screaming the chorus line in paint-peeling high-pitch saturated with high voltage energy that would put any nearby Celine to shame while his guitar textures paint a chaotic mood underneath his bellows, the actual undertones is very much in precise control, the symphony tackles the dramatic apocalypse with a few violin notes, which paves the way for Kirk to repeat his distorted intro trick, it achieves the sort of fulfillment the song needs. After this heartfelt outpouring of the chorus, the set repeats the principal riff, and ends on a rising violin note underscored by grumbling tambourines. A sad lament to a deceased individual, and a big warning sign to everyone who is willing to listen. I still remember how it threw me upside down; I never knew anything about music other than it's just a way of spending just a fun time. This one literally blew me away (I kid you not, the actual analysis of this classic took me about six months, before that, I just listened, but I never expected the impression to be so awesome, I was too lowbrow to express my feelings anyway) and eventually it changed my whole outlook on music as not just a tool for having fun, all the silly, kitschy pop music seemed absurd and meaningless, it frightened me that a band with such depth, detail and intelligence actually exists, and if only a tenth of music was as good! It also harbored an as-yet-unexplored interest in classical music, often touted as the highest form of music. It taught me to carefully examine artistic works: books, photos, pictures, songs. Everything had whole new dimensions upon closer inspection. Consequently I found out that this line of thought has even influenced my usual real life relationships and social judgment of persons. Given the song's genuine impressions, it's hard to believe that it is also one of Metallica's most accessible works, while most Metallica classics would take a dozen listens to comfortably sit within the mind, this one could be absorbed in just a few listens, with little details slowly cropping up with each listen, ensuring the song's long lifetime. No Leaf Clover's most noticeable trait is contrast. The contrasting themes between harsh life and silencing death are so strongly realized on all aspects of the song: the music is hard rock on the verses, disproved by the symphonic laid together focal chorus; the vocal is an agonized, mindless simulation of ecstasy done in screeching high-pitch at verses, while at the chorus it's so solemn, peaceful and low-pitch it's hard to believe they came from the same vocalist, this theme is even engrossed in the lyrical context: from the barks of an underdog to the metaphors of a philosopher, even the title -'No Leaf Clover' is the diagonal opposite of a four leaf clover, a luck sign- is a contrast in itself.Several other theories have been discussed as of the actual meaning behind the song (the band rarely gives out interpretations of their songs) including a war theme (Metallica has often written anti-war songs, particularly in the 80s) and just plain, indefinite bad luck, but the song's epic, larger-than-life atmosphere and high musical vocabulary allows no compromises; it deals with the highest form of the old good-and-bad conflict, the most important of humanity's struggles.

Iraqi metalheads rocks Istanbul - 22 Dec 07

Look at this awesome report done by al-Jazeera English on the fearsome foursome, indeed, as evidenced by the VBS.TV documentary before, Marwan still is the most impressive person of the lot and he's still the only one who exudes a cool-guy aura with his deep voice, this one made me yearn back to hungry days rocking in my bedroom. Good luck guys, i hope you do write something good finally...

Iraq's Only Heavy Metal Band In Turkey

Apparently, the heavy metal documentary VBS.TV did on Accrassicda a few months back has been screened at the Toronto Film Festival, but instead of helping them, the four grammatically-challenged metallers of Iraq are now regretting the media coverage, having denied Visas to attend the premiere in the US, and facing imminent deportation, they have sold their instrument and used the money to run to Turkey, where they are trying to settle as UNHCR refugees.

For the lost souls of the members of Satan-brainwashed Accrrrraaaassscccida, I wish them a Happy Christmas, a Merry Eid, A Blessed Hannukah, and a Fucking Awesome Eid al-Ghadir, may Allah/Jesus/Yehweh/Abu al-Hasneen be pleased with all of us. Hold on to your virgins, too many holy festivals! Let us hope that they rejoice one day in peace, and not commit holy martyrdom in the name of Ozzy Osbourne on the altar of the Church of Punk like our great Ayatosatan Kurt Cobain (AS) did one stupid depressed day.

The concept of 'Gheera'

The iraqi-arabic word 'gheera' is hard to translate, an offspring of the distinct Middle Eastern mentality, the closest Western word to it is 'honor', but it lacks many of the connotations that makes it different from 'sharaf' which is the literal 'honor' in Arabic.

The Iraqi 'Gheera' comes directly from the classical Arabic 'ghayoor', I haven't heard it being used in other Arabic dialects, it stems from the same human feelings of 'pride' and 'honor' but it is also much more than that, perhaps the 'gheera' has its roots in the Beduoin-descendant importance of protecting the family, especially the women. a 'ghayoor' or an 'abu il gheera' is the proud, honorable William Wallace type of person.

The dilemma of translating 'gheera' came to me when I was trying to translate the following poem, I normally consider patriotic Iraqi songs hypocritical, but apparently, everything can be great if it's done well. and this performance have never failed to stir me, even the over-the-top, bullshitty parts, Hussam al-Rassam, currently Iraq's favorite singer, did an especially good job here, somehow I feel every word and actually the first two times it literally brought tears to my eyes on the 'children sleep on their empty stomaches' line, as you can see in the video, I was not the only one feeling this way, not to mention the way he lays down his issues with our Arab countries in a tone that conveys despair, pride, majesty, sadness all at the same time. It's almost flawless, except for the smiling bimbo at 3:30, but oh well.
This performance is actually a medley of three different 'mawaweel', in short a mawal is a small vocal performance of a poem Iraqi (and maybe Arab) singers perform before jumping headlong into a song, the mawal is usually painful and exquisitely worded, but the subject matter of the mawal and the song can be totally unrelated, for example, you can sing a mawal about the pain and suffering you feel when torn away from your country and then jump headlong into a song about stolen chickens.

Other things of note is that translation often fails to preserve the direct essence and brilliance of the mawal, especially if there is wordplay, for example the first verse which ends with 'dates', 'command' and 'pass us by' is in Iraqi-Arabic 'tamurna', 'timurna' and 'tumurna'. a wordplay often used in Iraqi mawaweel. I have tried however to convey its meaning to the best of my humble capability as someone who earns his bread by translation.

Enjoy it, it's really important.

Fair and well for those who our dates they eat
and we obey your wishes when us you command
for entirely the Basra leans when us you pass by
and Shatt al-Arab greets thee heartily...

May the Lord ails you, my country, O the cradle of civillizations...
I embrace you even if thou embrace the knives themselves....
For I wish to speak, and who is he who believes my fables...
and you, O beloved, bear the anecdotes of Sultans..
The Bread-maker, why do you give your neighbors
while your children sleep on empty stomaches?
And your walls are used but for the slogans, many are the
slogans, few are the walls...

and here you cry alone, and no one shares you tears...
For you need not a tear shed without honor (gheera)
When the horses broke into stride, you calmed their fears
and preserved them, their thrones, kings, and tribes.
Who has not quenched from Kirkuk's oil?
but who invites me on his table today?
I address he who drank Irbil's yoghurt
and he who ate the bread of Sowayra
and he who consumed Thi-Qar's masguf
and he who uttered but the single utterance
and I bemoan for Saladdin isn't present
nor is the Qaqa, nor is Ibn al-Mugheira!
O Sa'ad, do you see Rustam, at the doorstep?
On the Euphrates, his rank and file march
I address those who slept by Abu Nuwas
Lo! How the Tigris remains captive today!
O Ali! O Father of al-Hasan! Dulfiqar is sheathen, and of your
dome the cowardly chips a stone?
I remember when they clinged to my clothes
and yesterday when the peninsula preserved its pride
Yesterday, when my helmet rebound a thousand bullets
the Arab Gulf is my sea, and I didn't flee
I hold thee accountable for all that happened to me
and everyone's sin lies in the corner of his eyes
for I am Iraq, and my name shatters the heavens.

*The poet who wrote this, Samir Sabah, was imprisoned by Jordanian authorities shortly after its release, he was only released after human right organizations intervened, ironically, this concert was in Jordan.

Who Am I?

The last comment at my last post set a wheel in motion in my brain, it's not that i have time to post right now actually ; i'm working two jobs and i'm really beat...but anyway, I thought I'd drop in a quick explanation regarding a few accusations made by a few loving or otherwise readers.

First, Annie, I don't really support the occupation, but that doesn't require my support for its withdrawal necessarily. The only thing that I really understand right now is that there is no really clear, 1-2-3 way out in this fucked up political condition anymore, in fact, there are only guys who are looking for their own interests. That could mean turning a blind eye to horrible atrocities and creating a pan-Arab hero out of a bloody tyrant, or simply focusing on that tyrant's atrocities all day long perhaps as a justification to cover today's crimes. People like t to hear what they want to hear, seeing people become simplistic entities with cartoonish views of right and wrong has taken out a huge chunk of my faith in human nature. The thing is, if the owner of this blog knows one thing, then it's that nothing is really for sure anymore, it's a huge unjust, unfair mess, be it history, social conduct, politics, secularism or religion. Also, the person known as Anarki13 once said that i'm a know-it-all twat, in fact, what you are witnessing is really just soul-searching, that hopes at getting somewhere in the end. All i did in my recent posts is just copying transcripts of what well-known authors have said, i didn't bring anything out of my own pocket. However, I must say that I've always thought of you as somebody who never listened to anybody's opinions and actually never even took the views of anything seriously but his for that matter, including my own views. So judge not, okay?

Talk about being konfused... :)