Respect Knowingly ٌ

Yesterday was the anniversary of Shia Arba'een. I suppose it's a good time to speak about mutual respect of the religion of others as an essential attempt towards co-existence in Iraq.

I have argued before that Sunnis and Shiites are irreparably hostile on religious terms, I still believe so, but I do believe that a good number of Iraqis from both sects would like nothing more than a peaceful co-existence. A key component towards achieving that goal is a meaningful respect of the opposite sect's religious values, which I believe is only possible under a secular rule that will dimnish the impact of religion on everyday life but also respect the religious rights while working neutrally towards skirting the hostile foundations of the two sects are built upon into a distinct Iraqi idetity, an impossible task of course because most Iraqis want a theocratic government, hence the dilemma, nevertheless I'll just babble on for the benefit of future "Iraqi" generations who might learn from the mistakes of their forefathers, how's that for being self-important.

Many of you might be surprised that I am a fan of Mulla Bassim al-Kahraba'ie, as a matter of fact, Mulla Bassim single-handedly played a huge role in my conversion from Western music into an appreciation of Middle Eastern modes of music. That respect grew out from a curiosity incurred by the ubiquitous presence of the Shia flagellation mega-hit "Ya Yom Ashoof Ei'tabak" everywhere in Iraq, which was endlessly satirized such as [here], and then it developed into an interest in the supernatural, enterainingly apocalyptic vision of Shiism ; you see, the problem with Sunni Islam is that it's stories are rather boring from the perspective of a story-teller, sure it does confirm Judeo-Christian stories of a prophet who talks to animals and the snakes of Moses but those are minor stories, as the principle concept largely center upon a worship of a single God and that's about it. On the other hand, Shiism is centered upon a very passionate
dramatic piece with lots of dark fantastical themes: there's a fascinating battle between Good
and Evil where Evil always wins, there's a centuries-asleep Hidden Wrath-Of-God Imam who will come back, resurrect all the bad guys and kill them, those apocalyptic visions easily stirred the Heavy Metal-, fantasy-, Gilgamish and Enkido-loving spirit within me, there's something ethereal when you listen to a story told in a larger-than-life mesmerizing melody about the righteous holy blood dripping from the cuffs of Musa al-Kazim by Haroon, in the process uplifting those holy men and their antagonists from normal eat-shit-sleep human beings into the mystery-shrouded Demigods in an Iron Maiden song.

Okay, okay, so Shias might be a little annoyed at my comparison to their beliefs with mythologies here, but my point is that I have grown a sense of appreciation for their rich
culture, in fact one of my things I want to do someday is visit Karbala or Najaf like Salam Pax did here (why is the blog's colors like this now?) just for the grandiose curiosity of it. In fact, Sunnis ave somehow recognized the huge impact of those Shia religious hymns in rallying solidarity and they have attempted to replicate it, they are stealing Shia eulgoies and are applying it to Saddam Hussein for example, and also they have a 'Mawlid' celebration (think Nusrat Ali Khan-like), but that is nowhere near as powerful as the Shiite ceremonies, and that is because their version of religion is still a pure simplistic veneration that refuses innovation "bidda3" and isn't as imaginative, it discourages iconization and frown upon any other form of worship than Qur'an recitals, in fact even the pillars of Sunni Islamic music comes from external sources, the most famous Muslim singer, dubbed "Muslim Bono", Sami Yusuf, is a British of Azeri (mostly Shia) origin who was born in Iran, but is for some reason Sunni (even that is in doubt). Another very famous song, Ya Tayba, hails from Indonesia and has Sufi roots (they even say Ya Ali in it), Sufism is a blurry form of Islam which stress Music and dancing as a form of being closer to God. it has many Shia influences but nothing of the complex traditions and stories which makes it offensive to the orthodoxy Sunnism.

Let's revisit Mulla Bassim again, in 2003, Bassim was singing in his "Symphony of Graves" about Saddam Hussein:

Kurd and Arab a victim,
Sunni and Shia altogether.

in 2006, after the Askariya Shrines were demolished, the Mulla sang this hateful masterpiece (edited here, but Nawasib line can still be seen in the end):

O Mahdi, You have four vengeances,
Taim, Adi, Harb and Sakhar
The first took away Fadak from you
The second broke the rib of your mother
The third split open Ali's head
The fourth slaughtered the blood of Hussein
Should Hasan live with us
He would've been poisoned again
and Should Hussein be resurrected
They would have cut his neck again
Lo, Alas your grandfather is buried among the Nawasib!

"Grandfather" refers to the Askari shrines, which is in Samarra, a Sunni town, that is what he refers to by "buried among the Nawasib." In Shia lexicon, Nawasib is the most extreme form of insult you could bestow upon a person, it means a devout enemy of Shia. The poem is also unusual in the sense that it explicitly refers to the names of the First and Second Caliphs (although still somewhat coyly through their tribe names), an extreme rarity as they are usually hinted to as "the people" or just "them."

I find in this poetry a reflection of a more popular resentment, yes, even though the Shia doctrine is hostile to Sunnism, it tries to bury those conflicts so not to cause controversy. But when the Shia Arabs were not warmly accepted by their Arab neighbors, and when terrorists began to blow up Shia markets, culminating in an outright demolishion of a holy shrine, the Shias found less and less reasons to embrace the desire to keep this peace and to declare the ancient hostiliy more brazenly ; it's a reaction, not an action. The Sunnis in general should've been more receptive to Shiites, but they chose to be hostile and a hindrance.

On the other hand, the Shiites should not have announced their arrival to dominance with such a venegance. If the Baathis and the renegade al-Qaeda started to attack Shia indiscriminately, the Shia government gave the general Sunni population, both inside Iraq and outside it, more and more reasons to view the conflict as encompassing Wahhabi and Sunni alike. They basically
justified the Sunni fears that they will be marginalized even if they chose to participate, they
killed innocent civillians by the dozen just the same , and then there was the sloppy, sectarain-themed timing and execution of Saddam Hussein (a very stupid move then was made by Sistani's deputy, who called for Saddam to be executed between the shrines of Hussein and Abbas), the disbanding of the army, and the engulfing of Iraq into a perpetual mourning ceremony whose greatest concern was sealing off everyday life from one Ziyara to the next, another needless of demonstration that we are Shia and we are in power, so eat your heart out.

And this is why Iraq is fucked, because a theocratic government would often tend to aggravate the opposite sect as the difference between the two sects is hostile. This is especially true of Shiism because, like I said, its practices are more apparent, more encompassing, and are filled with dramas, ceremonies, and rituals, which would make the Sunnis alienated and indirectly remind them of those hostilies, on the other hand, regular Sunni Islam* on the other hand is just reading Qur'an and going to Friday prayers, and isn't offensive to any Shia figure.

What we need is a secular government that would realize the danger of religion on Iraq, a government that recognizes Shia dominance and practices but does not make it a perpetual all-encompassing feature of the state, a government that greatly enforces the identity of being an Iraqi before everything else, and the Shia slogans and murals that you will find everywhere if you go to Iraq today always serves to remind you that some people are 'less' Iraqi than others. It is my opinion that this state is impossible to create today, as to why, it's for another time.

For now, I dedicate this hymn to my Shia brothers, it's called Ajat al Aasreen, if anyone knows what this maqam is this please tell me because it sounds like a traditional Iraqi mode and I love it very much.

عجت العصرين و أسود الفضا من طحت يحسين يبن المرتضى


* Excluding probably Wahhabism, it also serves to remind oneself that the dominant form of Sunnism in the Ottoman times was Sufi, a trippy music-loving form itself.

Iraqi Review: Valley of the Wolves - Irak (Kurtlar Vadisi)

ex-Gilgamish once asked me to review this movie at the time of the Turkish incursions, I was willing to do so but the Turks didn't oblige by giving me the appropriate circumstances again, until today: They have launched a full-scale operation with a codename and all, so now is a good time to review the movie touted as the most expensive in Turkish cinema (10.2$ mil to make, made 26.7$, by comparison the most expensive Egyptian (and Arab) film took 4$ mil to make).

The movie shows its horrid premise as a nationalist propaganda piece right from the first frame, a Turkish officer writes to an old ex-Turkish intelligence friend about the shame and disgrace he felt when he was forced to walk out of their station somewhere in northern Iraq with a hood on their heads, which is based on an actual event apologized by Rumsfeld at the time called the Hood Event. Of course, the brave Turk takes annoying lengths in parading his pride and dignity before this takes place, after sealing the letter, he commits suicide, boo hoo.

the recipient of the letter is our brave hero, I forgot his name and I won't bother to look it up so I'll just call him Mr. Big Khasawi (Big Cojones), Abu Khasawi reads the letter, and instead of laughing his ass off at his pathetic pal who took his life for wearing hijab for five minutes ; he immediately hitchhikes to Iraq with 3 Turkish mofos to meet their destination, the super-villian Mr. Arrogant White Jesus Freak (played by Billy Zane, who's probably a registered democrat) who committed this horrible ass-rape of the great Turkish pride, which is only heard of in Turkey, of course.

I must admit that the only fun I had in this movie was watching the Americans get a share of their own poison, as an Arab who's frequently reduced to a stereotype in powerfully influential American films, I had the immense pleasure of watching the Americans here portrayed as nothing but cold, ruthless beasts with little regard for human life, the soldiers look dirty and sport funny degraded haircuts, there's also a Jewish doctor who specializes in stealing human organs (Yes, delicious guilty-pleasure anti-semitism! boo-hoo!) from corpses to sell them someplace else (too bored to concentrate where) and they're led by a glinting-eyes lunatic who believes in spreading the word of Jesus. Of course that stereotype is easier to refute than the Arabs in western media, but that's only because American culture is so recognizable ; it was really fun to watch Billy Zane holding children hostage like a lowly creature.

The problem is that the Turks don't stop there ; this film is an insult to everyone else as well, the Kurds are nothing but American stooges, while the others are helpless, idiotic sheep, only Mr. Khasawi seems to be holding his pants up as a human being. Just look at the picture, the amount of presence (and balls) this Turk has is just Subhan-Allah-unbelievable. The only other positive character is a religious sheik called Abdul-Rahman Kirkukli, an uber-respected sane-sage-in-crazy-world dude who persuades some pathetic Arab Jihadists about to behead a Western Journalism to drop their weapons and then teaches them the true meaning of Islam, it took me about 0.34 seconds to realize that this sheikh is Turkmen, and with a Turkmen named Kirkukli, the nasty Turkish intent is fully blazing here. I bet Barazani was pissed.

Even though Iraq and most of the Arab world was part of the Ottoman Empire for a long period of history, I must admit I know very little about Turks except for the Zagur chewing gums with collectible stickers we used to buy in our childhood (at the time they said it was an Israeli conspiracy and the gum caused sterility, well, I'll tell you if that's true when I get married), so I thought that this was a good chance to become familiar with the Pashas of yore and as a secular I wanted to learn more about the former Caliphate which did an 180 to secularism successfully, sadly, all I came out was the impression that Turks are flag-waving maniacs who think very smugly of themselves and believe they got the market cornered on the meaning of Islam. At the end of the film, the female hero, an Iraqi (Turkmen? her costumes are so weird, more like Indian if you ask me) whose husband was killed by the Piggy Americans and who wanted to become a suicide bomber meets with the Alpha-Male Khasawi who resuces her, together our zero-chemistry heroes kill the Nazionist Billy Zane but he kills the tender Iraqi before her Turkish savior gets to go all kissy on her. boo-hoo.

PROS: Americans look stupid. Thank you brothers in Islam. :D
CONS: Totally Turkish fist-pumping action flick, totally unbelievable in arrogance, at least Saving Private Ryan was believable.

المشكلة مو بالحجاج, المشكلة الوطن ذابح روحه

Neurotica seems to agree with me about the inevitable doom of Iraq, in fact she has become as disillusioned and escapist as me recently.

يكللك:

دَعوتُ عَلَى عَمْرو فَلمّا فَقدته بُليتُ بأقوامٍ بكيتُ على عمرو

bil ro7, bil dam, nifdeek [yaho il chan]. :(

I'd Rather Live The Lie

Noam Chomsky angry discourse on US politics and the disappearance of the subject of Iraq from the 2008 elections. While I don't agree with his rationale : Chomsky clearly blames the US for every crisis in the world, but it does ring true in many ways, especially his handling of the idiocy regarding the number of deaths, and how American hawks think they own the world and the Iraqi "unpeople"are just tools that can be magically made to do as required in the end.

There's no doubt in my mind that the US knew Saddam Hussein was just a tired, petty old geezer who just wanted to grow old and die in his private ranch, Iraq. They clearly have not a care for either Kurdish or Shia oppression and are probably cursing the day they listened to people like al-Chalabi, who explained to them that Iraqis are freedom-loving people with a clear sense of nationhood that only need to be rescued from the cruel dictator, and not a collection of sects still living in a medieval mentality where that dictator was the only force holding it together, a country where most of the population would listen to their God's representatives, the Ayatollahs, before anyone else. We all knew the stuff about WMDs were lies exacerbated as an excuse, however, fed up with living long days in backwardness, we [well, Kurds, Shias, and me with a few ignorant Sunnis who didn't know what Iraq really is] cheered for that lie because we thought Saddam was the only reason stopping us from a modern advanced country.


Today, after looking the ugly truth in the eye. I'd rather curl up and die in the comforting fact that Iraq will not be a modern country because my scapegoat, Saddam is suffocating it than realize the fact that a solid "Iraq" isn't there to exist in the first place.

John Kerry Explains Sunni-Shiite Unity Myth

This contains some grade-A bullshit, but there are also some very true points, everything colored in red is bullshit, and the valid points are in blue, my comments are in italic bold.

"I sat with the governor of Anbar, the sheikhs, and I asked this question to them I said point blank: Is there anything pressuring you or forcing you to make a decision tomorrow about reconciling between Shia and Sunni and he looked at me and smiled and said no, not really. They're all playing a game, they're jockeying for power, they're jockeying for the oil revenue, they're jockeying for the ultimate confrontation (Kerry was talking specifically about a confrontation in modern-day Iraq, although it serves to remind you how far off Sunnis and Shias are religiously and not just politically) which has come to either peacefully or not, you know, in another way, in this struggle between Shia and Sunni, which incidentally ladies and gentlemen goes back to 682, there's a wonderful book out there called the Shia Revival (Shia biased obviously) by Vali Nasr (Iranian) and it traces the history of this struggle. and it goes back really to when Ali (not Ali, his son Hussein) the grandson of the Prophet Muhammed, who was slaughtered in the desert, they cut off their heads, took their heads back to Najaf (actually Kufa, Najaf didn't exist, but we can forgive that cuz Kufa is now a city in Najaf province) and posted them and then they took them to Damascus. and you know, ever since then, there's been this struggle, and guess how many there were in the desert fighting with Hussein, 72, does the number 72 ring a bell with you? That was the beginning of martyrdom (hilarious) and the whole theory now that if you kill yourself you'll go to paradise, 72 virgins are waiting for you and so on and so forth, (tear-laughter!) that's where it all began. This fight has been going on for a long time folks and we just stepped in the middle of it. Only what we did, was uncork a corker, because we took 20% (Kerry makes it seem as if Sunnis were always 20%. Historically we don't know about Sunni-Shia distribution prior to the Mongol invasion, but southern Iraqi bedouin tribes only converted to Shiism 200 years ago, since then that rate has been growing - as compared to the 60% figure today, a British 1919 census put Shia population at 53%) of the population that used to run this county, and the 60% Shia that never could and now the 60% Shia have the ballet votes which you know they could never have achieved by the sword, and the 20% who were running the place for the past 1300 years (right but in a wrong context, the Sunni rule was often interrupted by Persian Shia intermissions (Buwyahids, Saffavids, and partly Today) and there's an importance in the fact that Shias were for most of their history after the occultation of Mahdi in a passive standby state until he re-emerges, hence the lack of resistance) are saying: wait a minute, something's wrong ; and that's what's going on. You can't resolve it with our military. "

Link (Real, scroll to 27 min)

لابعاد السياسية والاجتماعية لتجميد فعاليات جيش الامام المهدي (عج)

احلى شي من دمبكجية مقتدى يحاولون يتأولون طلاسم السلوك الإرتعاشي لقدو....والله اذا تقرا هاي المقالة يخيل لك دتقرا عن فد فطحل من جهابذة العرب...مو فد واحد حمله و فصاله ثلاثون شهرا....زين عيني؟ خره بالوضع....قرأت المقالة وهنا على وهن ثم أرسلت هذه الرسالة للكاتب


سيدي العزيز صادق الحسناوي
تحية طيبة و بعد
تتذكر يا سيدي العزيز لمن صدام حسين جان يتريع و ثاني يوم تخرج الجرايد و المجلات و الدمبكجية: تريوعة القائد دعم لمسيرة النضال ضد العدو الغاصب

لكم مخلصنا من اللوكية مال صدام طلعتونا انتو....ولك يا ابعاد استراتيجية انت اللاخ هوه مقتدة بالكوة يا الله ممشيها و انتو جاي تفسرون كلامه كانه الدرر تتساقط من فمه الشريف .....هم زين اكو ايميل علمود اكدر اكفر بدينك و متكدر تعتقلني....لك والله يجي يوم و اشوفه لهذا مقتدى يجبروه يلعب طوبة بالشورت كدام كل العالم و كل العراق يأشر عليه باكبر اصبع و يضحك من كل قلبه اي والله لان رجع لموقعه الطبيعي...نصيحتي الك تتفحص ظهر قائدك حجة الاسلام لتجد البطارية الإيرانية فما هو الا دمية يلعب بها ثم ترمى على كولة ابو حفصة

Emirati Ben Kerishan blogger (Arabic) provides a concise, humorous and insightful summary of the history of development of Salafist Wahhabism in Saudi Arabia, one of the most dangerous evils in our present world.

Kissinger thinks (or at least he pretends to think) that Iran has dreams of rekindling old Persian dreams of domination. He also says Bush will be looked upon more favorably in less than 50 years. I agree with Kissinger in that a cut and run withdrawal of US forces from Iraq would greatly empower radical Islam, not to mention an official kick-start of the civil war, but I would further elaborate that it would empower both [Sunni] and [Shia] radicalism, two very different components with highly different, and mutually hostile, objectives.

This is going to be huge. For some reason I can't wait for the civil war to really begin, I'm tired of the fruitless Green Zone foreplay.

Hilarious

This is almost on par with Shalash al-Iraqi, I've been following this Ameer al-Magamee'a guy for a while and he's quickly polishing his material. This is an extremely rude and extremely hilarious satire of Sunni MP Khalaf al-Alyaan, in which he supposedly tries to pose nude after reading about Victoria Beckham's recent stunt. It's a shame he's a tad sectarian in some of his articles, but that doesn't mean he's not funny.
link:

غيرة بيكهام وتفاعل خلف العليان

A New Crush

She looks so dumb, but I can't take my eyes off her.
If you're wondering why I'm posting this, it's because I'm trying to write something and it's not coming out right.
UPDATE: She just won. She's so clueless and childish ; I don't think she's dumb anymore ; she's just socially naive and clumsy. Maybe that's what I like about her.
UPDATE2: I forgot to include al-Jazeera's Barbie Iman Eiyad (Banoura), perhaps the only good thing ever coming out of al-Jazeera.

Marion Cotillard

In order to emphasize the masturbatory filler quality of this post, here's a list of all the previous celebrity women I fell head over heels with at some time.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's kinda predictable for somebody to have a crush on Catherine Zeta Jones, the embodiment of confident, beautiful aristocracy, her beauty is too predictable anyway, I prefer more exotic women, thankfully the combination of leadership and exotic have been fully realized here:

Aishwarya Rai

Too much to handle....how on earth will the 72 Virgins compete with that?

Shannon Doherty

Noorhan

This was Noorhan, an Egyptian actress, she is the only celebrity I really had a crush on, I totally loved her when I was 15. and not just a crush, it was a crush with feelings.

Are you seeing a pattern yet? They all look suspiciously alike...hmm...what does this mean, Freudians? Oh, that reminds me, when I was younger than that I had a crush on this one:

Snow White

Last, but not least, I had a crush on this Iraqi TV presenter, I couldn't find pictures for her anyway but she's right here interviewing Iraqi homosexual icon Saadi al-Hilli


Goddammit, she even looks like them, guess I must have been wanting to sleep with Snow White for 23 years real bad.

Yes, I'm 23, could you please stop referring me to as a genius 20-years-old, I'm as old as Riverbend when she started blogging.

I'm going to go watch the Oscars now, for Cotillard.

The Myth of The Surge

Listen to Nir Rosen, this guy has got it nailed:

But such political maneuvers don't really matter in Iraq. Here, street politics trump any illusory laws passed in the safety of the Green Zone. As the Awakening gains power, Al Qaeda lies dormant throughout Baghdad, the Mahdi Army and other Shiite forces prepare for the next battle, and political assassinations and suicide bombings are an almost daily occurrence.

The Myth Of Sunni-Shia Unity

When you ask an Iraqi if he is Sunni or Shia, he gets annoyed and pissed off as if it is a huge insult, however, you should keep in mind that he is not insulted because he believes Sunnis and Shias are united and that we are all Muslims, he is afraid that you will realize how much of a conflict is suppressed behind closed doors, in public venues, Iraqis of various sects pretend the same moronic hypocrisy, however, as soon as they are behind closed doors they start to curse the shit out of each other's sect. Sure, Iraqis may be united by language, customs, or culture, but religion will always be a throng in that unity's foundation ; because Sunnis and Shias, religiously speaking, are mortal enemies. However, because Shias have long been oppressed, and because their vengeance is postponed until the Mahdi arrives, they have learned to go about their lives with caution, in spite of that, the Sunnis view them with the utmost distrust, and it's very easy today to visit any Shia website and read those facts. The fact is, Sunnis and Shias are hostile, and they only keep their peace because they are reluctant to speak out about their disunity. A person like Yassir al-Habib might be considered an extremist in that vein, but what he is doing is only being frank about it.

I will recount a short-short summary of the history of Islam as seen by both Sunnis and Shias, you can decide after that if there is any chance that Sunnis and Shias are united, (and which side's version is funnier.) Please remember that people who are ruling Iraq today take this very, very seriously.

1. THE SHIA VIEW (cuz it's more exciting)

Once upon a time, there was a prophet called Muhammed.

Before Muhammed died, he appointed his cousin, Ali, as his successor.

Unfortunately, a homosexual [1], scheming, bastard, early companion named Umar conspired with another prominent companion, Abu Bakr, and they usurped the caliphate.
Every companion of Muhammed agreed with them, except four, who remained Muslims (=Ali should be Caliph.)
Ali, who is infallible, naturally did not agree, he kept in his house.
the bastard homosexual and his old geezer friend Abu Bakr went to force Ali to accept their rule.
When he did not come out Umar broke the door, and held Ali's also infallible wife, Fatima, behind the door, crushing her, breaking her rib, causing her pregnant son to die, only to die six months later.
Ali, the bravest companion of all responds to all this by....grudgingly accepting their rule "to preserve the unity of Muslims, and because Muhammed told him to." You can't argue with the dead, or the divine.
On top of this, Ali actively works as a judge and an advisor for Abu Bakr and Umar.
22 years later, Ali becomes Caliph.
He is opposed by a [Sunni] Umayyad ruler called Muawiya,
Ali is killed in the battle and Muawiya rules.
Ali's son al-Hasan decides to stop the fight, because "he is infallible and you can't argue with the divine." Muawiya poisons him and gets rid of him. Muawiya dies and appoints his drunken son Yazid as successor.
As soon as this happens, Hussein, immediately decides to fight again, he marches to fight and is killed by Yazid's army, it is this battle which Shias commemorate every year with much flagellation, crying, and outcries for vengeance, as you know, Yazid wasn't a Jew or a pagan, he was a Sunni.

Hussein's son, the 4th Infallible Imam, as well as his son, are poisoned by another Sunni Umayyad called Hisham.
6th, al-Sadiq, is also poisoned by Abu Jaffar al-Mansur, the Sunni Abbasid who built Baghdad, five days after Shia assumed power in 2005, his statue in Baghdad was destroyed. (note how this link gracefully ignores this fact, thinking it is the work of the usual suspects: Americans and Zionists.)
the 7th Imam, al-Kadhum, was poisoned by the infamous Sunni caliph Harun al-Rashid.
the 8th Imam, al-Rida, was tricked by Harun's son, al-Ma'mun, who feigned Shia inclinations, only to poison him.
the 9th Imam, al-Taqqi, was posioned by Sunni caliph al-Mu'tasim, builder of Samarra.
the 10th Imam, Ali al-Hadi, was poisoned by Sunni al-Mutawwakil, on top of that, al-Mutawwkil was a supreme hater of Shias who levelled Hussein and Ali graves to the ground.
the 11th infallible....poisoned...Sunni....
the 12th, the Mahdi, hid in a cave because the Sunni Abbasids were about to kill him, he is still in hiding until today and will come out one day.
Ever since then, the Shias have been oppressed and squashed, remember that those who oppressed them were not Christians or Jews.
And so Shias call upon him to come out and set right all the injustice that have been heaped upon them, the Mahdi will resurrect all those enemies I just mentioned and kill them, he will also "kill the sons of Umayyads because of the oppression of their fathers."

******* Now for the Sunni version********
Once upon a time a Prophet Muhammed died and went to heaven.
Everyone lived happily ever after, Abu Bakr, his closest friend and companion, ruled
followed by the Prince of Believers, the one who made Islam proud, Umar
followed by Uthman, the first six years of Uthman's rule were merry.
However the Joooz could not keep quite while the Muslims expanded.
A sneaky bastard Joo called Ibn Saba pretended to be a Muslim and started inciting people against Uthman. (remember that this unknown Ibn Saba manipulated the minds of thousands of Muslims while Muhammed's most prominent companions were still alive)
He started a belief that all prophets have viceroys, and Muhammed's viceroy, Ali, was denied his rights by Uthman (and Abu Bakr and Umar)
This nobody (Ibn Sabaa) is the reason why the companions (who are all awesome) beat the shit out of each other,
And why Uthman (another awesome dude) was laid to rot for three days, even though he was one of the 10 the prophet promised paradise
And why Aisha (the wife of the prophet who the West mainly remembers for being the six-year-old bride) waged war against Ali.
Soon the Persians caught up on this and began to incorporate their own beliefs into this filthy Joo Ibn Sabaa cult, and ever since then they have been allies for anyone fighting the Muslims.
For example, The Baghdadi vizier who opened the door for Mongols was Shia, called Ibn al-Alqami.
****
Yes yes, we are all Muslims, and Iraqis have been living peacefully for thousands of years (note that most of what had happened above occured in Iraq.) Har Har. If anything, Sunnis and Shias are even more far from each other than Muslims and Christians. They will forever be hostile to each other.

Norman Finkelstien: Israel Has To Suffer A Defeat

Although I don't fully agree with this guy but I must say I'm pretty impressed.

My Ayatollahs مراجعي العظام

An Ayatollah is a Marja-a-Taqlid, if you adhere to Ayatollah, it means you completely adhere to his prinicples and matters without question.

Those are my Ayatollahs, I love them almost to the verge of worship.

Three years ago, I harbored the same divine sentiments to James Hetfield.
Ten years ago, to A.J. McLean.

المولى المقدس ايه الله العظمة علي الوردي (قدس الله زره)
اضغط على الصورة لتحميل اشهر مؤلفاته

المولى المقدس حجة الإسلام و المسلمين سماحة السيد طه حسين (رضي الله عنه و ارضاه)

زنبور الدين و كافور المسلمين اياد جمال الدين (سهل الله خراجه

Interview on al-Arabiya

For English speakers, the people above are:
1. Ali al-Wardi (Iraqi Shia)
2. Taha Hussein (Egyptian Sunni)
3. Ayad Jamal al-Din (Iraqi Shia)

اعلن امامكم ان برقبتي بيعة هؤلاء النفر الى يوم مماتي والله على ما اقول شهيد .
p.s. if anyone has books for Hasan al-Alawi, gimme, he looks like a potential Ayatollah save for his idiotic Omar Wa Tashuyyu3 book.

The Satanic Comments

One of my favorite hobbies is reading the idiotic comments left on al-Arabiya news items by people from all over the Arab world, there's even some sort of sub-culture thing going there with famous commentors and stuff. Fortunately, there is someone out there who shares this little habit with me, read her she's good.
Speaking of inane comments, you guys should take a break and read what people have been suggesting to Last of Iraqis at his last post, the list includes Kuwait, Ramadi (cuz it's mostly angelic Sunni :P), Iran (cuz it's gonna annex you anyway), I held my breath for Mali (cuz it starts with the same letter as your name) but then it took a huge plunge down stupidity when Jeffrey suggests for him to stay and rebuild your great country in a line that took me straight back to the glorious Hamlat al-Iimar of the Post-1991 war by Sadoomi, I did issue a ceremonious fatwa on these guys, but now I'm seriously considering shedding their cyber-blood, Salman Rushdie on your ass!

Things Are "Better"

My best friend during primary school was killed a month ago by a stray bullet in Baghdad. He was a Turkmen, I only knew of him yesterday.

Coupled with my four dead friends, Haji Amir, and a college acquaintance, this is the 7th person that I directly know who was killed since the war.

Jordan Pardons Staying Fines of Iraqis

Something's going on.

the Jordanian street is today boiling after the lifting the subsidiaries off the economy, which sent prices to the roof ; meanwhile, after ranting about the cost of Iraqi refugees here, the Jordanian government has supposedly forgiven the cumbersome 1.5 JD a day fines from 360 thousand "illegally staying" Iraqis, this was presumably done at the request of Vice president Tariq al-Hashimi (I caught myself before adding the S-word before his excellency's name) who said this move would encourage Iraqis to return home due to the improved security conditions currently in Iraq. I'm still skeptical about this, as I've heard it many times before, but let's see.
One wonders if many Iraqis are actually going to return, I don't really think the ones who will return will do so out of the improved security conditions, which I believe is propagandist, but out of desperation ; there are many Iraqis here who have accomplished nothing and are living on their savings, on the other hand, there are many rich ones who are well-off. In any case, the one thing that I know is fore sure is that the Jordanian security officials have been doing raids on Iraqis recently.

Younis, a friend of a friend, is an Iraqi in his 20s who came here seeking to 'make something for himself', however, he cannot even afford to rent a room, so he sleeps in a shop where he works, the manager of that shop pays him about 200$ a month for 16 hours work, 4 of which is outside Amman, one day he was walking and then he got apprehended by the police, who held him in prison for more than a week, Younis's S-passport is expired and even his UNHCR registration card was expired as well, and his Jordanian boss refused to have anything to do with it, citing his reluctance to interfere given that he is employing an illegal alien without a work permit ; he even prevented a Jordanian co-worker from going there to bail him, ordering him to do it when he's not working, in the end, Younis's brother managed to find a friend who is an associate of the governor, who negotiated his release, Younis went to renew his passport and then he went to UNHCR, who offered him the free services of a lawyer as he is now required to go now for an interrogation. On top of all that, the governor's friend wants 2,200 JD (3100$) for his trouble. His brother had to borrow some money to pay him off.
Today, Jamal, another Iraqi co-worker in the shop, was almost arrested by the Jordanian security had he not been warned by the nearby barber that they are searching the area, he quickly exchanged places with a Jordanian customer, the police came in and thoroughly searched the shop and the back-rooms, perhaps acting on a tip?
A female acquaintance of mine was also recently fired from her work, she said that her company told her that the Jordanian security are searching for Iraqis without work permits rather excessively those days.

On a related note, Last of Iraqis is rejected at the borders again, naturally, he is pissed, he was rejected once before, so this didn't come as a surprise to me. My cousin was also rejected twice, they aren't impressed with insistence.

Also Today, Imad Mughniya, a scary Hezbollah muthuh, was assassinated - rather suspiciously, in Damascus! That guy looked sneaky AND good-looking, he would've made a sweet movie villain. Reactions in the Middle East were based basically on your sectarian affiliation.

About The Blog

Some of you are probably wondering about the things that are happening to me, and the changes of the blog and what prompted them. Here's a quick explanation.

When SCIRI/Badr first started assassinating Sunnis in Baghdad left and right, I couldn't hear anyone reporting it for a long time, people would show up on TV and talk about national peace and unity while Sunnis were being killed everywhere, there was absolutely no mention of the story anywhere, but it was the talk of the town ; I felt as if nobody would hear our voice and that made me so afraid, in fact, it was the only reason I voted for the Sunni Islamic 618 bloc and not the 731 Secular Allawi one. It was about a month later when the story began to unfold on TV and Newspapers.

What I want to illustrate here is that things might change on the inside quite a long time before they do so visibly. The changes that I implemented to this blog and the desire to do so have been long thought of, I just didn't know how I would finally impart with the name I've been using for quite a long time now, after all, "Konfused Kollege Kid" was a gimmicky name for a gimmicky blog, as you can read from my earlier posts, I had totally different aspirations then, kinda like a more articulate version of Pentra.
People have been telling me how black hurts the eyes, and I must say I agree with them ; I'm not so satisfied with the headline picture, all the time I have the urge to fill the spaces to the left and right, what do you think?
As for the name, the Arabic signifies that Arabic language is going to play a more prominent role here, I can't decide whether I will dedicate another blog for it or just throw the whole thing here.
Shaqshaqa is taken from a famous Shiite sermon in which the usually reserved Ali throws a fit and rants about his lost caliphate title in a very angry, but articulate manner, after he is interrupted one of his companions ask him to continue but Ali replies to him dramatically: "O' Ibn `Abbas it was like the foam of a Camel (Shaqshaqa) which gushed out but subsided." Meaning he has calmed down now. I've always loved the word 'Catharsis', which basically means a similar, but less Camel-inclined, thing in English.
So people, don't worry, I'm really feeling quite okay.

Egypt Wins African Cup

Aside from our usual export of terrorism, we seem to be dominating the world in another, unpredictable category.

Left: Iraqi captain Younis Mahmood holds the 2007 Asian Cup after blasting Saudi Arabia 1-0 in the final, Egyptian captain Ahmed Hassan does the same to the African 2008 cup after soundly bashing Cameroon 1-0 yesterday.

The two finals were eerily similar, both Iraq and Egypt dominated their games against serious contenders before the effort finally translated into a frenzied lone goal in the last quarter of the game.

What is different, is the after-party, at least in Amman.
After Iraq, the Iraqi diaspora in Jordan, some 500,000 (750,000 in some estimations) squeezed in the upscale Rabia district of the capital and danced their life off, for about 20 minutes ; before the efficient Jordanian batons made short of their gathering, I was present there, and I still remember the vicious ruthlessness of the masked black-clad men, (is it our fate to be always chased by masked black-men?) many young men were arrested, and anyone who simply carried the Iraqi flag was at least reprimanded.
Yesterday, when Egypt won the cup, some 700-800 Egyptians gathered in the Sowaylih district, they weren't as much, but they closed down the traffic all right. I had a small argument with a taxi driver who insisted that the reason was that the Iraqi started 'breaking stuff', whatever, the true reason, of course, is the social anxiety against Iraqis in Jordan, as explained by Egyptian blogger Sandmonkey during his visit to Jordan in 2006. Of course, Sandmonkey offers the cliched Jordanian view of the stinky rich Iraqis who are heavily investing in the small poor country, which is half-true, but I believe a large share of the antagonism can be fairly blamed on this guy, who cared more about his Pan-Arab image than his own citizens:
More on that later when I have more time, for now, congratulations Egypt. I am a big fan of Egypt and will always be one. I do realize that Iraqis have a lot to resent from their fellow Arab brethren, and how incredibly damaging tyrannical and shallow approaches to Pan-Arabism have been to the Middle East in general, but I still believe that Pan-Arabism can one day be married to less violent interpretations, even though I feel incredibly alienated and estranged from Jordanians, my philosophy will always be:

بلادي و ان جارت علي عزيزة وأهلي و ان شحوا علي كرام

Sandmonkey seems to have made good friends with Jordanian bloggers, they seem to be an okay bunch, I really liked the way the Jordanian-Iraqi brawl about the Queen Alia international Airpot ended, maybe I should try and be more connected with them ; unfortunately for me, my only experience was with an immature Jordanian blogger who confirmed those hostilities Sandmonkey talked about.

Pay It Forward - Muslim Version

I just came back with my mom from the local C-Town, we bought an ironing board. When we wanted to return home, all the taxis would take one look at the long board and say: we're sorry, the trunk is full. They wanted more money to take it up.

A man came to us, asked us where we were going, it wasn't where he was going, but he insisted to give us a lift in his pick-up truck. He refused to take any money, all he asked for was my mom's prayers for him.

I don't think that man had seen Pay It Forward. Gee, could the evil barbaric Muslims + the unsmiling Iraqi-hating Jordanians be that kind?